Do you care of your physical appearance?

April72

Well-known member
#1
Hola,
People use to have the impression that avoidants are sloopy people, careless of their higiene.

My last psychologist put the stress on the importance of taking care of the image we project other people. It's not for narcissist reason but bc we have a part of our self-steem which is fed by the feedback other people provide us. That is, the social self-steem.

To be honest, I used to be careless of my look. Most of the time due to depression. I didn't give a damn about anything.
If I wasn't depressive, I was in a low mood and procrastinated as hell. I didn't like to go to a hairdresser's bc, you know, hairdressers don't stop talking ever.
I neither liked to go shopping bc nothing get well on me.
I stopped doing physical exercise because when I was in my teens, I used to do it everyday and along with eating little...I don't know bc I thought it would solve all my problems, but I realized I did all these things for nothing.

What do you think? What's your case? Are you feeding your social self-steem?
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
#2
Way way too much. I'll spend a lot of time on it knowing I'll never be appeased with the outcome, fixating on stupid things no one will notice such as how symmetrical my eyebrows are or... actually anything for that matter, anyone who'd care about that sort of thing on my behalf probably isn't worth knowing. Most people don't care, I can rationalise that but it's yet to be ingrained.
I'll make all this effort and then still carry out behaviours such as wearing a hood, wearing sunglasses, leaving my hair down so I can cover my face with it.
It's all a tremendous waste of my time xD
 

Izzie

Active member
#5
I do very much - too much. I'm always searching for some make-up trick or new hairstyle that will make me feel content with my appearance. It is almost like I think if I just got my hair right I would be/feel so much more attractive/better about myself. I have lost count of the number of hairstyles and colours I have had.
I refuse to leave the house without any make-up and get very anxious about it and about what I'm wearing and I'm regularly wondering if people are thinking about my appearance in a negative way.
I had thought I was a very vain person but now I am understanding myself better I can see it is not as simple as vanity.
 

Steiner

Well-known member
#7
Do you use any other forums? Your username looks familiar.

I try to care a little. Maybe when I am not going out but when I do go out I try to look somewhat okay. I worry more about my smell I think.

As of late I've been really trying to improve myself. Better overall hygiene. Flossing, brushing bathing.
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
#8
I do very much - too much. I'm always searching for some make-up trick or new hairstyle that will make me feel content with my appearance. It is almost like I think if I just got my hair right I would be/feel so much more attractive/better about myself. I have lost count of the number of hairstyles and colours I have had.
I refuse to leave the house without any make-up and get very anxious about it and about what I'm wearing and I'm regularly wondering if people are thinking about my appearance in a negative way.
I had thought I was a very vain person but now I am understanding myself better I can see it is not as simple as vanity.
I refuse to leave the house bare faced too! At my job we're not allowed to wear any make up. So I do anyway, but that just presents a new thing to be anxious about re getting told off by the boss! Worth it.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
#9
When I was younger I cared a lot what I looked like. Right now though I feel happy with how I look, could lose some weight. But other then that I am happy with myself. But I'm always working on personal things so that will come eventually.
 

April72

Well-known member
#10
So do I. I cared a lot following a diet and doing physical exercise bc I didn't like my face or my body. I was about to develop anorexia.
I believed that if I were different I would solve my mental and social problems.
However, I'm very happy with my physical now. I take care of it because of what I explain in the starting thread post about social self-steem but it's not an obssession as before.
 
#11
smash the MIRROR

Yes, and probably way too much. I honestly wish I had the confidence to not care and be comfortable to step foot outside without a stitch of makeup on. I don't even know who I'm trying to impress sometimes, and I highly doubt my attempts to look decent are ever successful. Other than getting myself a bit more toned I feel like I've done everything in my power to look the best I can, other than having surgery or other cosmetic procedures. I can’t afford cosmetic procedures anyhow…. believe me I would do it if I could, but I wonder what difference would it make anyways? I’ll still be me won’t I? That seems to be what the genuine problem is.

 

Zaki

Well-known member
#13
Yeah. I carry a pocket mirror everywhere and am constantly staring at myself. It's not a vanity thing at all. It's actually because of extreme insecurity.
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
#15
Sometimes but I do like to shower. I don't just go out smelly when I can just get in the shower to prevent it. But when I'm really messed up and need to go out I just wear baggy clothes. Thats why I dont mind the cold months because I get comfort from wearing clothes so I dress in layers and when I need to go out I just theow on a lose pair of pants and jacket and coat...
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#16
Lately no. I no longer color my hair, rarely brush it, buy new clothes maybe once a yr at the most-I always buy used...I maybe put some mascara on when going out. I shower 3 times a week b/c our water is so hard it strips all of the oils out of your skin and hair. Because I rarely go into public by choice I am fine with the hippie look :)
 
#17
Naw, no' really. Ah mean ah'll shower twice a week but that's it. Ah dinnae bother shaving as much as ah used to - aside from ma heid. Cannae really bring masel' to shave ma beard off - mainly cuz ah think it suits me and it covers the scar on ma chin. Though ah'll trim any wee loose ends, if there's any.

But ah still cannae stand ma ain reflection or huvin ma photo taken. Cuz ah jist end up being overly critical o' ma appearence. Ah also feel self-conscious whenever ah step ootside in ma tracksuit top, trainers and ma peaked cap - whoa! Nearly went full NED there. :bigsmile:
 

jayfan

Well-known member
#18
more then i should.
im said to be vain and shallow. i run 30 miles a week minimum, eat clean. Constantly doing pull ups , push ups and lifting weights. i do it for myself though. i hate my face . scar on left upper cheek , wide nose , thick eyebrows , wide face.... hate my face , like my body.
i do care alot about what people think of my appearance.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#19
No I don't. I rarely look in the mirror, should shave more often, I don't like the look of myself at all. I am fit, and I am toned, but I don't run for the physical appearance, I run because it is the best form of mindfulness I know, and to experience my running adventures, which make me so happy.
 
#20
I shower 6 days a week - mostly because I cant stand the smell of my own BO if I dont shower.. lol. But on a Saturday I'll skip a shower.. just once. Saturday is my lazzzzzzy day.
 
Top