Depressed because you're single?

[vwturbodriver]

I get this feeling all the time. I actually feel that way right now. I am at my lake house surrounded by family and my best friend. But I still feel empty and like something is missing. I was sitting there thinking back to when I had a girlfriend and how i used to take her for late night boat rides on the lake. And I just wished that i could have her sitting there with my by the fire. I really do miss my ex and its bad becuase we were only together for like 6 months and its been about 8 since we broke up... But she was the first girl I ever truely loved. And now she wont even notice that i exist... I wish i could go back in time and try and fix things between us.. Idk i am just very lonely when I am single and i just cant seam to shake the feeling. its just no matter what I do i feel lost and alone in life. =/

 

[Nanita]

...But he is related to my ex, and the family will NOT have it. At all. And he was to be alienated if he went forth, so he stopped, and I stopped. What could have been a happy relationship of sorts...

There is someone that I just started having contact with, and he is an acquaintance of my ex.
Maybe it´s weird or unrealistic to take it further. I think we might be a much better match than me and my ex, so to not even give it a try is such a shame..
I don´t know where it will go.

 

[userremoved]

I'm depressed because so many others are taken. I swear every girl Im interested is unavailable and the ones available aren't interested in return.

 

[Glumlock]

Lol, I'm depressed because I'm not single

Only joking DON'T KILL ME PLZ

 

[Honda]

The only reason you are single is because you are depressed about it.. Theres alot more in life than relationships... Dating and Relationships is secondary in life...

 

[Bloir]

I am not depressed because i have not a couple. I am depressed because i am depressed, because i am not sure in my day to day and because i would like to have a dignity and i have done things to lost it.

 

[fitftw]

being single makes me feel like I'm a better person than people in relationships. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. It's how I cope with it.

 

[schist]

I've been single for nearly 2 years, and getting back into the whole game is starting to frustrate me. Still, I think 2 years of singledom is long enough for me at present.

 

[Nanita]

I get this feeling all the time. I actually feel that way right now. I am at my lake house surrounded by family and my best friend. But I still feel empty and like something is missing. I was sitting there thinking back to when I had a girlfriend and how i used to take her for late night boat rides on the lake. And I just wished that i could have her sitting there with my by the fire. I really do miss my ex and its bad becuase we were only together for like 6 months and its been about 8 since we broke up... But she was the first girl I ever truely loved. And now she wont even notice that i exist... I wish i could go back in time and try and fix things between us.. Idk i am just very lonely when I am single and i just cant seam to shake the feeling. its just no matter what I do i feel lost and alone in life. =/

Lake house & Late night boat rides... that sounds absolutely wonderful

 

[A friend]

being single makes me feel like I'm a better person than people in relationships. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. It's how I cope with it.

Being single isn't a bad thing. By being single, you are escaping the worst part of life.

I never been in a relationship before, but I know that being single is a gift.

You're free to go and do whatever you want when you want.

You'll never be cheated on and miserable for decades (centuries if people could live that long).

You won't have somebody constantly hating you and using up all your money.

You will never have somebody screaming at you and trying to hurt you in every single way possible.

Yeah, people are going to call you a freak because you're single. I'm sure that most human societies HATE anyone who's a virgin or single (or anything like that), but please know that being single isn't a bad thing.

You don't get anything good from having a girlfriend/wife, not in any way possible.

All you gain from having a girlfriend/wife is a MUCH shorter, and extremely miserable life. That's it.

 

[fitftw]

^ I love you man (or woman idk) the only good thing about relationships is sex, and you don't need a relationship for that. Being in a relationship is just a status symbol. It shows other people "Hey check it out, I'm wanted by someone." Who cares. Why set yourself up for heartache when someone gets sick of the other person, cheats on them, or later in life dies on them. No thanks.

 

[fitftw]

^ Yeah those people are drama kings and queens. I hate those people. Good thing they're easy to spot and avoid.

 

[fitftw]

^ I guess those people are just really REALLY into life, and they don't see the impermanence of it all, so they get emotionally attached to everything. It's not how I want to live. I like things to be calm, serene, peaceful, easy to handle. Like a zen Buddhist monk.

 

[Kathryn.fr]

Sometimes I get depressed being single, it really hits me when my roomates are being all snuggley then I just sink into a hole.

 

[A friend]

Hey I love being single too but that's a little bit of a grim viewpoint

Incorrect, it is the opposite. (Sorry if I sound like I'm being snotty or mean! I'm not trying to!)

- there are plenty of relationships that DO work, and work well,

No, there are none. Although I have never had a girlfriend before, I have seen every single relationship (with the exception of the elderly members of my family) end in heartbreak or pure anguish.

Human beings are not meant to have love lives.

I get what you mean though. I believe there's only one person out there that's going to be right for me and I'm not prepared to have a lot of pointless relationships beforehand just for the sake of being in a relationship.
I mean, why are some people so desperate to be in one? I don't get it. I especially don't get how people can be in a relationship before being content with themselves first. As result they might let them treat their partner any old way and just put up with it.

This is one of many reasons why I'm trying to tear the need for romantic love right out of my brain/body/soul/heart/etc. It's also one of many reasons why I'm trying to get people out of their depression from being single.

But we are being rather grim.

No we are not. Not even in the slightest.

Plenty of happy couples suggest there's nothing better than being in a relationship.

They were probably intoxicated when they said that.

Sometimes I get depressed being single, it really hits me when my roomates are being all snuggley then I just sink into a hole.

All you're seeing is an illusion. Regardless of gender, we are all missing out on absolutely nothing.

Although I don't know the backgrounds of all the single people who are depressed, I wonder, did they have any siblings? Were they the only child of their families?

That could be an explaination for why they feel this way.

 

[fitftw]

I have 2 older sisters, one is on her 2nd husband at the age of 35, the other is a lesbian and is 32. I am 27 and don't plan to ever get married. I agree with everything said in the post above mine. Let us not forget the divorce rate is like 70%

 

[JamesSmith]

Most people on the planet are desperate imo. They are desperate because they think they need to be in a relationship to feel normal and feel good about themselves. It sounds like a big insecurity to me.

You know, in a college class I took I read that there is 96% of people in the USA that get married at least once in their lifetime. I have a hard time believing 96% of people find their true love. Obviously many people are making mistakes by doing the marriage thing as much as they are because over 50% of the time these marriages fail (because of divorce).

I blame biology and social norms for this marriage-happy culture we have. It's so bad out there that if you don't get married in your lifetime, you are known as the weird, outcast that can't get anyone to love you. Society pushes you into getting married. That in itself, is horrible.

Then you've got sex, biology's powerful force. People are terrified of going their life without a guaranteed sexual partner, especially men. I think tons of guys get married just because of the sex they know they are going to get for a long period of time. The fact that they won't have to hunt for the thing they think about so often (sex) is very appealing to many men.

 

[fitftw]

Most people on the planet are desperate imo. They are desperate because they think they need to be in a relationship to feel normal and feel good about themselves. It sounds like a big insecurity to me.

I think tons of guys get married just because of the sex they know they are going to get for a long period of time. The fact that they won't have to hunt for the thing they think about so often (sex) is very appealing to many men.

/thread. You hit the nail on the head. I'd like to add that if you aren't actively seeking a relationship, people accuse you of being homosexual as well. Not everyone needs sex. I'd rather be with someone who understands everything about me and appreciates all of me. Since this is simply not possible without tricking/fooling yourself, and I am the only one who can appreciate all of me, why should I be looking for something that does not exist? It's like religion to me. A cult. Marriage is a cult. Like belonging to a church.

 

[JamesSmith]

I'd rather be with someone who understands everything about me and appreciates all of me. Since this is simply not possible without tricking/fooling yourself, and I am the only one who can appreciate all of me, why should I be looking for something that does not exist? It's like religion to me. A cult. Marriage is a cult. Like belonging to a church.

Lol, I don't know if I'd go that far. I think marriage is good for many people, and I do believe there are people that find true love.

My complaint is more on the lines that the majority of people that get married, shouldn't be getting married. They want to think they've found love for all the wrong reasons that can vary. The reasons can be some that I mentioned: They want a constant sexual partner, they want respect from friends, family and acquaintances, it's the "right" thing to do (religion can hurt these people because it tells you that marriage is this beautiful thing).

Fitftw, as for you, I don't think you should assume there is no woman out there that can love you and understand you, because I bet there is a woman out there that could love and understand you. I think that woman exists, it's just going to be really difficult to find her because in order to find her, you'll have to overcome your SA to a certain degree.

 

[doubleM]

being single depresses me. i seriously think women all hate me or theyre terrified of me. ive just about resolved myself to living single forever. ill never understand it. i cant put in words how deeply rejected i feel.