Luke1993
Well-known member
Yes I understand that but I mean girls who say they want a nice guy, but not "too nice" what is wrong with being too nice?
CNN: Men ditch 'nice guy' style, get more dates
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Yes I understand that but I mean girls who say they want a nice guy, but not "too nice" what is wrong with being too nice?
philly2bits
Well-known member
It depends on what the girl saying it means. It seems to me if a girl were to say someone is "too nice" they have a clear idea in there head but can't word it in a way that would make any sense to anyone but themselves. So maybe they go for a simple, if vague, reason.
They don't want to be treated like queens or princesses.
Danfalc
Banned
Yeah or they don't want a guy who will just be "yes man" and agree to everything they say like a puppy.
iamthenra
Well-known member
OUCH!!!.... That one hurt.... Threads like this just makes me depressed.... :
: I guess this hits home for me... I'm just a yes man, puppy, door mat etc... Don't mind me, I'm just going to cry into my pillow for a few hours...
OUCH!!!.... That one hurt.... Threads like this just makes me depressed.... :
Agent Smith doesn't cry. He takes over peoples body instead...
Felgen
Well-known member
I agree with you there, but it has to look natural. Most men agree, but the people who control the media seems to prefer the ones who look like Pamela Anderson.
Some are born with an ectomorphic body type--others do indeed have an eating disorder (one of the Olsen twins is a perfect example). I'm not talking about the healty girls you see in fitness magazines, but mostly about socialites, teenage idols and so on.
Danfalc
Banned
That wasn't a dig at anyone an no one should take it personally,just because some girls might want a guy who attends to there every need.But you have to also accept some may not want that in a guy..yknow people like different things and we are who we are,we cant please everyone.
I remember breaking up with an ex and luckily we stayed mates,and she use to give me advice,one of the things she said was I tried too hard sometimes.Looking back I did chase her like a lost little puppy lol.I think sometimes its good to take a good long look at how we approach relationships and stuff.Sometimes we aren't being the nice guy we think we are being,and instead are just trying to please the girl by acting or saying what we "think" they want,and were only really doing that because we want a relationship.
iamthenra
Well-known member
No worries Dan... What you wrote, is absolutely true, and that is why it hurts... Worse yet, I have known this for sometime, and yet I will probably never get the opportunity to be dumped by anyone... Since I can't seem to get a girl friend... Then again, I am not really trying either. Just saying, I know that I would be a "yes man", "lost puppy" and definitely a door mat...after all I am used to being walked on.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
ya know... i didn't even read that article, so this could be totally ignorant, so i'll just say how i am, haha...
anyway.. sometimes "nice guys" can come off as unexperienced creeps (in my experience) ..i like gentlemen (as i am a southern belle and all haha), but down here, a southern gentlemen is polite and 'nice' but he's rough around the edges.. as in the lifestyle.. maybe 'nice' can mean 'safe' in those "not too nice" instances. i like a nice guy who doesn't mind getting dirty, going hunting, driving fast, being a manly man, haha..
so whatever, i don't even know if that made sense.. but i really think "nice" doesn't just mean someone who is polite.. i mean, most girls don't want a sensitive softy, that's our job!
anyway.. sometimes "nice guys" can come off as unexperienced creeps (in my experience) ..i like gentlemen (as i am a southern belle and all
haha), but down here, a southern gentlemen is polite and 'nice' but he's rough around the edges.. as in the lifestyle.. maybe 'nice' can mean 'safe' in those "not too nice" instances. i like a nice guy who doesn't mind getting dirty, going hunting, driving fast, being a manly man, haha.. so whatever, i don't even know if that made sense.. but i really think "nice" doesn't just mean someone who is polite.. i mean, most girls don't want a sensitive softy, that's our job!
combat
Well-known member
That is so depressing I don't even know where to begin... I can't help that I am unexperienced. Why does that make me a creep? :
:
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
That is so depressing I don't even know where to begin... I can't help that I am unexperienced. Why does that make me a creep? :
aww :
: i truly didn't mean it to offend anyone! i'm sorry!!i just meant sometimes people can come off as kinda weird at first glance, whether they are very experienced or not.. it's our nature to make quick judgements and assumptions, and it's not always the right thing to do, but sometimes it's just the cautious thing to do...
i could try to explain exactly what i meant, and i did just type a lot out and then delete it because i don't want to come off the wrong way again =/ i'm sorry... serafina, where you at?! you know what i mean, right? haha..
sara1975
1
What a load of bum-oles
I hate cocky men!
I have a husband that i love to bits who is shy and unconfident one of the first things that attracted me to him.
I would never want him to be like the men described in this, id dump him
Maybe its the type of women that these nice guys go after that they should change not them selves.
combat
Well-known member
It just makes me sad because I know that I'm weird at first or even second glance... I just wish I could finally catch a break with someone who understands that being weird doesn't necessarily make me a creep or a bad guy. :
:Edit: And I'm not trying to make you feel bad for posting what you think... I'm just trying to understand all of this.
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combat
Well-known member
You're right, men are no different. But regardless I hate this entire concept. Why can't I "have fun with" the same person I bring home to meet the 'rents? I hate people, way too much B.S. involved in everything...
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
i understand combat, i wasn't trying at all to put you down =/
no matter what, i do firmly believe that you shouldn't 'ditch' any of your personal character, because putting on an act just won't get you with the right person. the only thing we can do is be ourselves and find someone who truly loves and respects that. if you have to be fake to get with anyone, they're not worth it. i know tons of people on this forum don't believe so, but I believe that there's someone for everyone.. that's just my two cents lol
no matter what, i do firmly believe that you shouldn't 'ditch' any of your personal character, because putting on an act just won't get you with the right person. the only thing we can do is be ourselves and find someone who truly loves and respects that. if you have to be fake to get with anyone, they're not worth it. i know tons of people on this forum don't believe so, but I believe that there's someone for everyone.. that's just my two cents
lol
Da Kid
1
It just makes me sad because I know that I'm weird at first or even second glance... I just wish I could finally catch a break with someone who understands that being weird doesn't necessarily make me a creep or a bad guy. :
Edit: And I'm not trying to make you feel bad for posting what you think... I'm just trying to understand all of this.
From my point of view, I can give a layman's description on this subject:
Simply, we live in a mostly superficial world. People like to judge another on their looks more then anything because when u first meet somebody that's usually your first imperession, which is extremely hard to change. This is just the way of the world, and yes there are many exceptions with people who are more understanding and look more for morals and ideals then looks. I am not putting this soley on women too, as men are known to judge people by their looks jsut as much, if not more. All u can hope to do is paly by the rules of life and see were u land and what adjustments u need to make. Because even Leonardo Dicaprio has been rejected by women (for one reason or another). Like is the kinda thing where u can only deal with the cards u are given, and desiring for cards that u don't have is for naught. But, u still have the option of using your cards in the best way possible and achieving great things.
On the topic of women's desires:
Even if you look good and are polite, women find men without an edge boring. They have their way with them too easy, and look to have some excitement/challenge in their lives by scoring the bad boy instead of being pampered by the polite young man. It's all human nature, we want what we cannot get/have trouble getting and what we already have/is obtainable is not amusing/not much entertainment. it's as simple as that.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
WorldEndsWithMe
Well-known member
Frankly, I think if a "nice" guy decides to change his entire personality and self to a bad boy/jerk just so he can impress and get girls, he wasn't really a "nice guy" to begin with.