CNN: Men ditch 'nice guy' style, get more dates

spect01

spect01

Well-known member
Felgen said:
Girls like boys who are in the professional league of social status. This instinct can't be changed.

Because of the mass media of the 21. century, beeing a bad guy is a "good" thing--which in turn will earn you points. Other stuff that will grant you points (thus moving you higher up in the social status leagues) are good looks, money, social skills, confidence, experience and having many friends (not to mention having the right friends). Stuff that will give you negative points are living with your parents, beeing unemployed, beeing shy and so on.

This is a simplified example, but it shows how fucked up the modern society is. There are many great girls who are exploited by assholes and complain that there are no "decent guys out there", but who still won't even give a shy person a chance.
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10 reasons to ditch that shopping list for finding ‘Mr Perfect’ - Femme, Lifestyle - Herald.ie
 
T

the blue star

Member
So wait, do I be myself or not? Do I be my nice guy self because everyone always says just be yourself to find your special one, or do i pretend to be the confident, dominant jerkwad that the ladies want and live a life of constantly fighting who i am and one week long relationships after they discover my true personality?

Or do I just put a gun to my head?
 
M

mads

Well-known member
the blue star said:
So wait, do I be myself or not? Do I be my nice guy self because everyone always says just be yourself to find your special one, or do i pretend to be the confident, dominant jerkwad that the ladies want and live a life of constantly fighting who i am and one week long relationships after they discover my true personality?

Or do I just put a gun to my head?
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You can be confident and a nice guy at the same time. None of it excludes the other.
 
M

mads

Well-known member
the blue star said:
Confident is not who I am.

Ever since elementary school I was the loner in the corner who hyperventilated when he heard it was time for group activities.
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There is many ways of confidence. If you for instance have accepted that you are shy, that you have social problems, then I belive you are also confident in your own way.

I was the same like you when I was in elementary school, but it can change.
 
T

the blue star

Member
mads said:
There is many ways of confidence. If you for instance have accepted that you are shy, that you have social problems, then I belive you are also confident in your own way.

I was the same like you when I was in elementary school, but it can change.
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I suppose you are right, but is that the kind of confidence that matters in the dating world, or only the normal confidence?
 
M

mads

Well-known member
the blue star said:
I suppose you are right, but is that the kind of confidence that matters in the dating world, or only the normal confidence?
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I think the important thing is, that you shall accept and like how your are yourself, before you can get another to accept and like you, or you can say you have to love yourself to be able to love others. I hope you know what I mean :)

The thing is what is normal confidence. What is being normal?
 
madness_lover

madness_lover

Well-known member
There is a difference between being NICE and being a complete doormat. Nice is someone who is courteous, respectful, with a general happy attitude while still having a life of his own and not afraid of saying no and speaking their minds once in a while. That will get you girls. Now saying yes to everything, ditching your own life and interests to cater her every whim and letting her make all of your decisions for you is a MAJOR turn off. That gets old real fast...

Speaking for myself I love nice guys. Guys that make me feel I'm a part of their lives NOT that I am their life.
 
Luke1993

Luke1993

Well-known member
madness_lover said:
there is a difference between being nice and being a complete doormat. Nice is someone who is courteous, respectful, with a general happy attitude while still having a life of his own and not afraid of saying no and speaking their minds once in a while. That will get you girls. Now saying yes to everything, ditching your own life and interests to cater her every whim and letting her make all of your decisions for you is a major turn off. That gets old real fast...

Speaking for myself i love nice guys. Guys that make me feel i'm a part of their lives not that i am their life.
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nooooooooooooooo!
 
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