City vs. Small Town Living

[laure15]

I live in a suburb near the city, but the suburb has been growing in population which is a good thing for me because I love anonymity. When I go out, I hope I don't bump into anyone I know because then I'll have to do awkward greetings and whatnot.

I used to live in a big city, but some neighbors around me were nosy and that sucked for me. Living in a big city doesn't necessarily mean anonymity, you just need to find the right condo/apt complex.

 

[coyote]

i live in a village of about 800 people

in two weeks, we'll have our annual fall festival, and the population will increase to around 100,000 - seriously

and they'll all be drunk and listening to polka bands

it's a horrifying spectacle

 

[gustavofring]

I live in a pretty big town, about 300.000 people. I sometimes feel a bit stressed out and just want to escape it, especially when I'm feeling very depressed and lonely. It's confronting to see other people my age leading their social barfly lives and active careers.

I have spent some time in a small French village in the countryside this summer, and I really dug the quietness and rest. Because of the laidback atmosphere and lack of constant noises and traffic, you feel like days are actually longer in comparison, and more full of opportunity to do things. Less stress, more nature.

However, I don't know how it is with "village-gossip" and the social pressure you have there. I guess living in the town and its anonimity has it advantages.

 

[Flanscho]

I live in the center of a big city. I like it. With my bike, I'm everywhere within a few minutes. And friends are also within reach. There is also a social phobia support group in this city, and all kinds of other useful stuff.

While the country would be sometimes nice, I would be even more lonely out there.

 

[mikebird]

Don't know where to draw the line threshold

Started in the leaves in a tiny village in Gloucestershire bordering on Wales, where there was a coal mining community; gone while we lived there

Grew up in parents' pub for 9 years across the road from a farm. Key neighbours were 3 brothers and I liked the parents when I was little. It was noisy when I tried to get to sleep upstairs. I know I did learn basic piano at school and played to customers at night in my pyjamas

Town was bigger, changing school, in a huge house I loved and won't forget, wanting to buy one day
Changing school is a dramatic life change. Just a few I remember from all three schools are on facebook with good success making family.

I live 75 miles east of that hometown. London is about 30-40 miles from me.
Did want to try city life.

I did get to work in the city a lot. Today was another rare chance to be there and the tube stations & trains made an impact on me. My realisation of SA in 2011 after most work had been driving to small towns. Nothing's new to me in the Underground. I was comfortable packed into carriages where everyone generally avoids eye contact. It's a wake-up call to consider tight spaces could be a lifestyle to generate a natural behaviour like that.

Different when gathered in groups. First excursions in London for New Year's Eve with fellow students. All going to work & home is a clear signal of mutism.
Why no casual bubbly "how are you, oooohhh!!! ha, hoo, haaa!!! hee hee"? :applause:

I'd rather work all day in a busy tube train with no toilets, windows, speech or lunch, than in a normal office

 

[neardeath]

My town is 87,000. Just big enough to be anonymous with conveniences of bus services, etc. Still has some elusive small-town qualities, but I am doing much better than I was in a small community where I resided for many years. I definitely like the bigger town in this respect.

 

[jaim38]

I have lived in 3 different cities and a small town. In my experience city living was a nightmare. Living in ghetto areas was no fun. Sometimes I fear for my safety. We couldn't afford the pricier, gated communities so had to rent cheap apartments in bad neighborhoods.

Overall, I pick moderate-sized town over city or small town living. Living in a house is preferable to living in an apt.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

^I agree that a house would be nice... But I think I prefer by far the anonymous city life where no one cares that I don't communicate, I can't afford a house anyway. Though I guess a house in an average size town or city could be great if you can afford it. I tried the 600 inhabitants town, the bigger town, the small city by the sea and the big city. The small town was the worst and the cities were the best for me.

 

[vj288]

I grew up in a small town, one where have a house every 500 yards or so on most roads. Then I spent two years in a dorm at a good sized college town, and now reside good sized but not huge city. I can't say I feel any more anonymous in the big cities than I did in the small town I grew up in.

I may be because of how rarely I go out, but I don't find any more comfort in a big town where no one "knows" me versus a small town where the odds of me seeing the same person twice is more likely. Strangers or repeat acquaintances, big or small groups, they're all still people and when I'm out of my comfort zone the more people there are the less comfort I feel.

In a small town I feel comfortable going out for a run and knowing there will probably be few cars on the road, and worst case scenerio I have to wave to a neighbor. Or I could just stay in my yard and deal with no people. In a city I am guaranteed to see people, people are always around and I always feel like someone can see me. If I mess up or do something silly, someone will know. The fact that it's a stranger doesn't comfort me at all.

I'd rather go to an empty grocery store and mosey around then a busy one and have to deal with foot traffic and so many random people who could try to interact with me at any moment unexpectedly. Maybe in a small town I'd see the same cashier more than once, but if so they'd quickly wise up to how I don't talk and leave me be. And at least I see that interaction coming, and can prepare myself for it.

I'm still young and up to this point in my life have been able to avoid most social interactions, and in doing so have a lot more comfort in the place that doesn't require them, the small town setting. In a huge crowd I don't feel that anonymity everyone else talked about in the thread but huge pressure and anxiety about being around so many different people. Honestly it doesn't matter where I live if I avoid things like I do, the world outside my apartment won't effect me much. If I were to venture out to the world though, I think I would feel best finding low stress places I feel safe, small amounts of people and stimuli that doesn't overwhelm me.

 

[Amitush123]

several tens of thousands, kinda small...
I don't really care, my room has become my fortress, and I leave mainly for supplies

 

[Kiwong]

My preferred option would be to live somewhere in the country, where I could live alone. What I like the city is the anonymity. Small towns, are too small, where everybody knows you.

 

[doctor_who]

I used to live in a small village where everyone knew who you were even if you didnt know them, village was full of gossipers and posh snobs and everyone knew your business...I am glad I dont live there anymore,I love in a huge city and inlove it cause one so I am anonymous and can walk the streets without someone talking to me and two our village was a village that if you lived there past school the chances of you ever getting out the village wasslim...and I made it out and I lived there till a year after school but theres no way I am going back ever. ..I hate even going back to see my parents because I always see someone I went to school with and id rather forget that time...well I like to go back and walk streets proud that I dont live in the vilage and have made a new life for myself..friends from school that I lost contact with still hang around together and I think thats pretty sad...

 

[Flanscho]

I live in a city with about a million inhabitants. I think that this is a fine number. The city is large enough, that it offers a lot of stuff whenever I feel like going out. It offers support groups of any kind, and the somewhat large number of people ensures, that I can find a decent amount of likeminded friends. Still, it's not THAT huge, that I can't flee from it on my bike if I want to.