Ask MikeyC's mom thread

[MikeyC]

Dear Mikeys mom,

Why did you yell at me saying "dont do that! you'll go blind!!"

That was a very unneeded intteruption!!...>.>

Dear The Lone Gunman,

Young man, it was for your own good! Self-gratification definitely leads to blindness - have you not watched documentaries? My son Michael is blind in one eye because of his actions between the ages of 14 and 16: twice a day! Oh, the horrors I have witnessed! You'll thank me when you're older.

 

[Lamb]

Dear MikeyC's mom,

I just received my first two cavities and a filling. It was not fun. Should I cut baked goods and sugary sweets out of my diet forever to prevent future occurences?

P.S.- as i write this I am chomping a donut.

-Lambchops

 

[BlackPuma]

Dear MikeyC's mom,

Is it true that olives are infused with dark evil magic that gives them their evil taste? And isn't it about time we selected a handful of champions to forever more eradicate their influence on our buds?

 

[Opaline]

Dear MikeyC's mom,

Is it true that olives are infused with dark evil magic that gives them their evil taste? And isn't it about time we selected a handful of champions to forever more eradicate their influence on our buds?

Infused with evil magic? That MUST be the explanation for their awful taste! Fruits of the dark side, they are (although olive oil is pretty damn tasty... but it's usually extra virgin, so the olives must have had the evil pressed out of them, making the oil pure and good )

 

[MikeyC]

Dear MikeyC's mom,

I just received my first two cavities and a filling. It was not fun. Should I cut baked goods and sugary sweets out of my diet forever to prevent future occurences?

P.S.- as i write this I am chomping a donut.

-Lambchops

Dear Lambchops,

Sorry to hear about your teeth! My son Michael tried to get some fillings done, but he was so scared he peed himself in the dentist's chair. I wish I could say he was about 5 years old, but in fact he was 20. You should've seen the embarrassment on him, but what about me!?

Anyway, you probably shouldn't eat sugary food after having cavities. I should take a photo of my husband's false teeth in brine - just so you know what could happen!

 

[MikeyC]

Dear MikeyC's mom,

Is it true that olives are infused with dark evil magic that gives them their evil taste? And isn't it about time we selected a handful of champions to forever more eradicate their influence on our buds?

Dear BlackPuma,

I have heard that olives come from the stomach of the Evil Overlord. I don't particularly eat them, and my son Michael only eats them on pizza.

If you wanted, you could just not eat olives (although the Evil Overlord gets angry!), otherwise you could pour acid on your tongue and you can eat all the olives you like without that awful taste!

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Dear MikeyC's Mom,

What do you really think of Mikey's new girl? Is she good enough for your precious baby boy, or is she just a cradle-robbing shiksa?

Also, what is the best way to cook a drop bear?

Respectfully,
Pseudonymous McSpook

 

[Srijita52]

Dear Mikey's mom, why can't I touch my nose with my tounge? Its frustrating.

 

[MikeyC]

Dear MikeyC's Mom,

What do you really think of Mikey's new girl? Is she good enough for your precious baby boy, or is she just a cradle-robbing shiksa?

Also, what is the best way to cook a drop bear?

Respectfully,
Pseudonymous McSpook

Dear Pseudonymous McSpook,

I know of Michael's new girl, but I've never met her. When I do, I will put her through her paces because my little man deserves the best. I will put her on a lie detector, I'll make her swear an oath to loyalty, and I'll even make her do 1,000 push-ups - not for any reason, but because screw her! :bat: Once I'm done with her, she'll be so glad to have Michael that she'll tattoo his name on her butt.

As for drop bears, well, they drop from trees. So get an oversized cauldron, fill it with boiling water, then place it under the drop bear. Then you wait.

 

[MikeyC]

Dear Mikey's mom, why can't I touch my nose with my tounge? Its frustrating.

Dear Srijita52,

I think it's Obama's fault! When I was a little girl, America had nice presidents, like Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, and Gerald Ford, who were lovely men that let people touch their noses freely. These days, you can't touch your nose with your tongue without some extremist declaring "terrorist!" Oh, Obama, you tongue-hater!

 

[Klonoa]

Dear MickeyC's mom,

How do you think a boy should behave to a girl, or around a girl? Do they REALLY like politeness, or they think boy would be desperate or creepy/weird for being polite. What do women REALLY like on men? ;_;

Thanks, yours truly with respect, Klonoa.

 

[MikeyC]

Dear MickeyC's mom,

How do you think a boy should behave to a girl, or around a girl? Do they REALLY like politeness, or they think boy would be desperate or creepy/weird for being polite. What do women REALLY like on men? ;_;

Thanks, yours truly with respect, Klonoa.

Dear Klonoa,

When my husband was courting me, he treated me right. He bought me flowers and took me out to dinner and all sorts of lovey-dovey stuff. I thought it was magical. Now he just farts and picks his nose while greying on a daily basis. If he was Sean Connery, I would be fine with it just a little more! I guess boys start polite, but then get into a routine. My son Michael will always be a sweetheart! I can tell. I will force him to be. Mum knows best.

 

[hidwell]

Dear Mikey Cs Mum,

How can you tell if your life has any meaning ?

 

[MikeyC]

Dear Mikey Cs Mum,

How can you tell if your life has any meaning ?

Dear hidwell,

When you hear the sound of one hand clapping. I'm sure my husband could show you the literal way, but it's when you truly hear it...then you'll know. :thumbup:

 

[KiaKaha]

Dear Mikey's Mum,

If I dated you and we got married, would that make me Mikey's dad? And if so - what is the best way to discipline him if he gets out of line? I was thinking a spanking, but seeing he is related to you by blood and only me by marriage, I will leave it up to you if he disobeys.

Yours, stern but fair minded.

Kia.

 

[gazelle]

Dear Mickey's Mom,

Similar to your son, I have problems with chocolate, I simply can't resist the sight of any chocolate without having a piece of it... Have you ever tried getting him off of it? Has anything ever worked?... if so, please share!

Sincerely,
A confused voracious chocolate addict.

 

[Srijita52]

Dear Mikey's mom, I've a very hard time being responsible. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most irresponsible person on earth! Is there a solution for this?

 

[MikeyC]

Dear Mikey's Mum,

If I dated you and we got married, would that make me Mikey's dad? And if so - what is the best way to discipline him if he gets out of line? I was thinking a spanking, but seeing he is related to you by blood and only me by marriage, I will leave it up to you if he disobeys.

Yours, stern but fair minded.

Kia.

Dear Kia,

Are you the guy my son Michael went to see in New Zealand? If so, I think you would make a great replacement dad! I'm currently tied up in my own marriage, but if I'm ever divorced, you'll be the first to know. As far as keeping Michael in line: the best way is to take away his drums and not give them back until he behaves. I've tried sitting him in the corner and depriving him of milk, but he scoffs at such juvenile punishment. Touch his drums and he gets madder than diseased cows.

 

[MikeyC]

Dear Mickey's Mom,

Similar to your son, I have problems with chocolate, I simply can't resist the sight of any chocolate without having a piece of it... Have you ever tried getting him off of it? Has anything ever worked?... if so, please share!

Sincerely,
A confused voracious chocolate addict.

Dear A Confused Voracious Chocolate Addict,

I once tried getting him off chocolate. He got so sick that we had to take him to the hospital. The IV drip was full of chocolate milk. He was better within minutes. My son Michael loves his chocolate, and he probably always will. Takes after his father.

 

[MikeyC]

Dear Mikey's mom, I've a very hard time being responsible. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most irresponsible person on earth! Is there a solution for this?

Dear Srijita52,

Hmm, this is a tough one. I don't know if it's the same thing, but earlier in my marriage to my husband, he was very irresponsible, especially around the house. Getting tired of this, I washed his white work clothes and "accidentally" had a pair of bright red undies mixed in. When he saw his work clothes had pinked, he saw the light and we both started being more responsible with our lives.

Did that help, or did that make you suspicious around your whites?