Anyone else feels like they are not meant to be in relationships?

[Kiwong]

^Glad to read that I am not the only one to experience this.

My own mother hinted that she was curious about me possibly being a lesbian in a-round-about comment she made once because I had not had a boyfriend by the age of 27.
She then suggested that I should "become" a lesbian because of my single life!
It's annoying how some people can't understand that there are people who can be content with being single.

My sister and sister in law have both hinted that I was gay. My sister asked me once if had a boyfriend. When I suggested a female actress was beautiful my sister in law said "What would you know."

It is really interesting how supposedly sane people can fabricate truth about someone that is a lie based on their own ignorance.

 

[coyote]

my problem is not that i prefer to be single

but it's that i prefer to have relationships

with more than one woman at a time

i don't think this is fair to them

and it's exhausting to me

 

[new account]

That really is idiotic that your mom thought that. Why didn't you say this: "I haven't had any girlfriends in all this time either, so why don't you think I am not attracted to anyone at all?" Why do people think that? Can't they think that maybe they didn't meet anyone that liked them back yet, so that's why they're alone? Maybe the people that did like them weren't good enough. Why can't they think of other possibilities?

 

[Invisibleman]

my problem is not that i prefer to be single

but it's that i prefer to have relationships

with more than one woman at a time

i don't think this is fair to them

and it's exhausting to me

Thats kind of my problem. I always think "my god,how do i choose just ONE out of a bajillion women,I want to try them all". Women are like lays,you cant eat just one<can be taken extremely dirty:: Laughing aside though it seems so overwhelming to me and id rather be alone than be with the wrong person.

 

[polishgirl]

I'm exactly like this. Additionally, I think that no other guy would choose me over another girl. I feel like they will always prefer to be with someone else. I'm just not enough.

 

[Aletheia]

^ an energy sink rather than an energy source

I wish for a prince
and when he kisses me
and I am not a princess

being still me becomes unbearable
and I run away

again

I need to stop hurting people until I've learnt to be who I am

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Yes, I would wreck the person.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm exactly like this. Additionally, I think that no other guy would choose me over another girl. I feel like they will always prefer to be with someone else. I'm just not enough.

Balderdash! I'm sure you'd have lots to offer.

 

[OceanMist]

How do you explain the insane amount of horrible people in this world having a significant other, and the amount of decent people being alone.

I never said people get what they deserve. I was saying good people deserve things like relationships.....that doesn't mean they'll get those relationships.

Sure, a lot of those bad guys who beat their women and cheat on their women don't deserve to be in relationships, but then you could go on and on about that. I'm sure many of the 9/11 victims didn't deserve to die, innocent women are raped every day, etc. There are a lot of people that get what they don't deserve in a lot of aspects of life and death.

 

[OceanMist]

I know you probably didn't mean it this way but I'd be careful with the word 'suffer'.

Being single is only a detriment if you treat it as one. More people are choosing the single life these days; they are not suffering, and they are not alone.

I do think that someone who is single their entire life and they are single not by choice, that is suffering.

 

[RoomBound]

When I see "meant to," I think of what God intended, and I don't think God would intend to make good people not have relationships as long as they are alive. I just don't believe that we were sent here to suffer alone with no companionship for our entire lives.

I believe in a sovereign God and in Genesis/the beginning God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." And He made Eve for Adam. So what I don't get is how come He doesn't pair off more compatible adults with each other if that's His belief?

In relationships in the past, women have misinterpreted my quietness as indifference and have gotten frustrated with me. They just need to understand that we introverts aren't rah-rah people.

 

[twiggle]

I do think that someone who is single their entire life and they are single not by choice, that is suffering.

Fair enough... though I do believe that more and more people are choosing to be single by choice.

It's strange how the whole culture of relationships/marriage has changed over the years...

 

[OceanMist]

I believe in a sovereign God and in Genesis/the beginning God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." And He made Eve for Adam. So what I don't get is how come He doesn't pair off more compatible adults with each other if that's His belief?

In relationships in the past, women have misinterpreted my quietness as indifference and have gotten frustrated with me. They just need to understand that we introverts aren't rah-rah people.

It's not that easy for men. Men often have to make their own relationships happen so to speak.

I believe in God too, but I also believe that God won't just give a man a relationship.

It's not fair, but that's the game. I also had women get rid of me because of my quietness.

I think the problem isn't just women, it's society in general. 78% of people are extroverts, so it's no surprise that the majority doesn't favor quietness as a strong attribute.

It sounds like you've had some bad luck with women, not all women will ditch you, but there are many women that will get to know you and understand you. Those are the type of women that are worth keeping anyway.

I think shyness or quietness is usually not liked, but it's something that just needs to be understood. The best women will be able to look past your quietness and see who you really are.

 

[irrational]

I think people choose to be single at one point or another. Hard breakups, careers, taking care of family members, etc. People choosing to be single for the duration of their life .... It sounds a lot like people suffering from Pteromerhanophobia (I had to look that up, too ) choosing not to fly.

Into the wild is a pretty amazing movie (and true story) on the subject ...

Fair enough... though I do believe that more and more people are choosing to be single by choice.

It's strange how the whole culture of relationships/marriage has changed over the years...

 

[luck254]

I just simply don't see myself in a romantic relationship with anyone, because I never feel like I could love someone they way they deservesl. Don't get me wrong I had plenty of crushes and all that, but I always feel like I'll just lose interest sooner than later. And when someone get close or I let them close, I always push them away.

anyone else like this?

I was, and lost plenty of oportunities because of that feeling and realized that if i didn't start to break through my shell and started to REALLY give the best in me to the person i love i would spend my life alone and angry.
One should not be that self conscious in a relationship but focus on making that guy/girl happy IMO.

 

[PhantomPod]

I can see myself in a relationship. I think I would be a great girlfriend. I would really like someone who I could do sweet, thoughtful things for. Even just someone to text silly things to to give 'em a laugh.

I get that it's hard for shy guys, because the men are obviously the main ones in our society to have to initiate relationships. But I think it's hard for shy girls, too. We practically just have to sit around waiting for a guy to ask us out. And forget about that happening if you're not a traditionally beautiful female with long flowing hair, big tits, and killer legs. Basically, I'm gonna be sitting around waiting for a guy to ask me out for all of eternity. At least a shy guy can work up the courage to try and take the initiative and ask someone out. I feel like I've sort of recognized that, as a female, I need to take the initiative in finding a guy, but I still feel like it's deemed odd in our society for the female to take the initiative like that.

 

[PhantomPod]

^Glad to read that I am not the only one to experience this.

My own mother hinted that she was curious about me possibly being a lesbian in a-round-about comment she made once because I had not had a boyfriend by the age of 27.
She then suggested that I should "become" a lesbian because of my single life!
It's annoying how some people can't understand that there are people who can be content with being single.

I also have people think I am a lesbian! And I have a short haircut which really doesn't help people's perceptions. But I'm like, 'Oh I assure you, I am most definitely attracted to men!!'

 

[Silent_Dreamer]

Why would I ever want to inflict myself onto another person, that's just mean.

 

[Waybuloo]

Yes in the sense that I don't think the ordinary man can handle me. So I am not really suited to the general population. It takes great difficulty for me to find someone who is strong enough to make me feel protected and loved.

 

[Waybuloo]

I can see myself in a relationship. I think I would be a great girlfriend. I would really like someone who I could do sweet, thoughtful things for. Even just someone to text silly things to to give 'em a laugh.

I get that it's hard for shy guys, because the men are obviously the main ones in our society to have to initiate relationships. But I think it's hard for shy girls, too. We practically just have to sit around waiting for a guy to ask us out. And forget about that happening if you're not a traditionally beautiful female with long flowing hair, big tits, and killer legs. Basically, I'm gonna be sitting around waiting for a guy to ask me out for all of eternity. At least a shy guy can work up the courage to try and take the initiative and ask someone out. I feel like I've sort of recognized that, as a female, I need to take the initiative in finding a guy, but I still feel like it's deemed odd in our society for the female to take the initiative like that.

There is sort of a blurred area whereby the girl gives lots of flirting and hints so that it would be awkward for the guy NOT to ask the girl out. But that is hard for a shy girl to do nonetheless. However it is still short of asking a guy out so it can save a bit of face. Sometimes just lookking at a guy a lot can give him an invitation.