Anyone else feels like they are not meant to be in relationships?

[da_illest101]

I just simply don't see myself in a romantic relationship with anyone, because I never feel like I could love someone they way they deservesl. Don't get me wrong I had plenty of crushes and all that, but I always feel like I'll just lose interest sooner than later. And when someone get close or I let them close, I always push them away.

anyone else like this?

 

[coyote]

i have very little to offer a woman except a good time

and the older i get, the less likely that is to happen

maybe i should just get a cat

 

[Kat]

I don’t think that’s the case I just think it’s harder for some people to find who they are meant to be with more than others, if people want it to work it usually can and I think there’s enough population for everybody to have someone.

 

[YellowBird]

i feel you,i love people to death and i can fall in love once in a while but i can never be with someone,it kind of..disgusts me to know someone is clinging on to me,unless i met someone who is identical to me,my alter ego,i would never form a relationship...and i believe Love is too sacred to be with just anyone.

 

[hidwell]

Unfortunately I think I will always be on my own, my social anxiety has destroyed any chances for me to form a relationship.

 

[MikeyC]

I don't think I'm "not meant" to, but I'm not in the right headspace right now. If the right girl came along and I was comfortable, then I would probably give it a shot.

As it is right now, I shouldn't. I'm too uncomfortable with intimacy and it shows. I will never discount anything, though.

 

[new account]

i feel you,i love people to death and i can fall in love once in a while but i can never be with someone,it kind of..disgusts me to know someone is clinging on to me,unless i met someone who is identical to me,my alter ego,i would never form a relationship...and i believe Love is too sacred to be with just anyone.

I like how you think. When I used to say what you're saying, people mocked me for not wanting a thousand women, so I don't talk like that anymore.

 

[spring]

i feel you,i love people to death and i can fall in love once in a while but i can never be with someone,it kind of..disgusts me to know someone is clinging on to me,unless i met someone who is identical to me,my alter ego,i would never form a relationship...and i believe Love is too sacred to be with just anyone.

I'm not sure chances of finding your alter ego is very high or even possible.
I gave it up some time ago,no matter how much i search and wait that perfect someone just doesn't come.
so for me it's better to have a medium-to-good relationship than to not have a relationship,
plus I get tired of others soon but I tell them at first that I'm like this so that there wouldn't be any misundrestanding when it's time for me to leave

 

[twiggle]

I feel similar. I've been in relationships and ultimately they ended in mess and stress. I don't like too much sappiness or feeling as though I'm somebody's property... but that may be because my most recent relationships were with the jealous, manipulative type and it's made me extra hateful of that.
I love the idea of meeting somebody one day who can just 'get' me and who we can both let each other be ourselves, and I know the kind of guy I'm after does exist. But right now I don't know anybody like that. In real life anyway. My ex still pesters and stalks me and it makes me even more reluctant to look.
The truth is I just value my independence too much. I've always said I want kids and a family but sometimes I wonder if I'll be happier just doing my own thing for the rest of my life, travelling all over and having some adventures. I'm not interested in a relationship for the sake of a relationship. I'm not that bothered about having a break from intimacy. Why do people need it so bad? Sometimes I wonder how many people would want to be in a relationship if the physical side of it didn't exist, if it was just simply about caring and enjoying life with one another.
And when I was in relationships and people would say , 'Twiggle + *insert name here*" it used to seriously freak me out.
Yet I still have people joking around and asking me when I'm getting married etc etc.
I think I'd just rather focus on my job, my travels, my family (nephews are as good as your own children!) and friends.
But at an age where more and more people are getting married and settling down.... the more like a freak I feel for not wanting any of it. Not right now anyway.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm not that bothered about having a break from intimacy. Why do people need it so bad?

The closeness and feeling wanted. It's a good feeling.

Yet I still have people joking around and asking me when I'm getting married etc etc.
But at an age where more and more people are getting married and settling down.... the more like a freak I feel for not wanting any of it.

I think I'll be getting the same sort of thing myself when I get a little bit older.

 

[Shyangel]

I feel similar. I've been in relationships and ultimately they ended in mess and stress. I don't like too much sappiness or feeling as though I'm somebody's property... but that may be because my most recent relationships were with the jealous, manipulative type and it's made me extra hateful of that.
I love the idea of meeting somebody one day who can just 'get' me and who we can both let each other be ourselves, and I know the kind of guy I'm after does exist. But right now I don't know anybody like that. In real life anyway. My ex still pesters and stalks me and it makes me even more reluctant to look.
The truth is I just value my independence too much. I've always said I want kids and a family but sometimes I wonder if I'll be happier just doing my own thing for the rest of my life, travelling all over and having some adventures. I'm not interested in a relationship for the sake of a relationship. I'm not that bothered about having a break from intimacy. Why do people need it so bad? Sometimes I wonder how many people would want to be in a relationship if the physical side of it didn't exist, if it was just simply about caring and enjoying life with one another.
And when I was in relationships and people would say , 'Twiggle + *insert name here*" it used to seriously freak me out.
Yet I still have people joking around and asking me when I'm getting married etc etc.
I think I'd just rather focus on my job, my travels, my family (nephews are as good as your own children!) and friends.
But at an age where more and more people are getting married and settling down.... the more like a freak I feel for not wanting any of it. Not right now anyway.

You spoke my mind, Twiggle.

I really dislike the whole feeling like property thing as you stated.
I really think I might go the " single" way until I die, it's much less hassle and I'm free to do and be what I want. I definitely understand about what you said about nephews/nieces being like your own children. With them, who needs your own? I know my time is already filled with the needs of a child, I certainly don't want to deal with another.

 

[Silent_Dreamer]

Even in my imagination being in a relationship is making less and less sense.
With the way I negatively feel about myself I feel I would sabotage any relationship that could potentially form like accusing her of being with me out of pity, or breaking up with her because being with me will destroy her chances of having a happy future.
With so many eligible bachelors out there any girl willing to forgive my faults and manage to find the few redeeming qualities I may or may not have will be to good for me.

 

[MrJones]

I don't think I'm meant for relationships.

That doesn't mean I will never be in one. But maybe yes.

I don't really care about relationships for themselves.

I want to have a friend, connect with that friend. Connection intelectually, emotionally and physically.

I have met houndreds of girls a few of them interested in me, especially lately, I'm not sure why... but I couldn't be with any of them because even if I was attracted to them for appearence, that's the least important thing in the list.

I want to have someone to share my life and for her to share heirs. Together. That missing part in my heart.



Will she ever come? Will I ever meet her? Will she feel the same?



I don't have much hope.

 

[megalon]

With so many eligible bachelors out there, any girl willing to forgive my faults and manage to find the few redeeming qualities I may or may not have will be too good for me.

That sums up my feelings too. Maybe if i really tried, I could find a girl. She could do better than me though so I'd only be dragging her down. It also doesn't help that the more appealing a girl is to me, the less I'm able to open up around her.

 

[fitftw]

I think it's normal, especially for a guy, to get bored with the woman he's with. Hell it's happening to me right now, but neither of us could survive on our own so we have to stick it out.

 

[twiggle]

You spoke my mind, Twiggle.

I really dislike the whole feeling like property thing as you stated.
I really think I might go the " single" way until I die, it's much less hassle and I'm free to do and be what I want. I definitely understand about what you said about nephews/nieces being like your own children. With them, who needs your own? I know my time is already filled with the needs of a child, I certainly don't want to deal with another.

Yep, essentially I think that any relationship is going to be hassle although if I met a guy with whom I had a strong connection, and whom it was worth working through the hassle with, then by all means I'd give it a go.

But I'm not going to actively look. If it means I never find, then so be it. But such a thing should never be forced. I don't want or need another half to be the only thing keeping me stable and enjoying life. I don't think any less of myself for being single, either. It's important to be happy on your own before you give your heart away to somebody else otherwise you're basically putting your whole life and happiness in somebody else's hands. Which is fine - but only if you feel you could cope on your own again if you ever had to.

I'm just going to sit back and take the natural route from now on. There are plenty of other reasons to living besides having a partner. That's what too many people forget in this day and age.

 

[goodways]

This conversation more than most has spoken to me in a very real sense.


What you are all talking about here is something I think very few 'normal' people understand. Yes, we all want some form of intimacy, but most of us don't seem to be very comfortable with the idea of a 'relationship'. I don't know about the rest of you, but that label freaks me the hell out. Relationships have negative connotations for me, is that true for anyone else?

The ideas of intimacy, sex, companionship, are all good things in isolation, and are things I would want in my life. But when you need to swish them all up together in a big glass called a 'relationship', that creates problems. At least in my mind, but also in my experience. I'm just not interested in the stress.

And yet, by rejecting that relationship stress, this other kind of stress is placed upon me. That "society says you must have a girlfriend in order to belong" kind of stress. Does anyone else feel that? Because I feel it INTENSELY. I have plenty of friends and a large family, and many of them are settling down with long-term relationships and having children. And here I am, coming up quick on 30, and haven't had a girlfriend in nearly 5 years. But the ONLY thing that bothers me about this fact is that society tells me I SHOULD feel bad about that. And yet, the idea of starting a relationship fills me with dread.

What a catch-22 this is, eh?

How are we supposed to function normally in a society that says we are not normal?

 

[MikeyC]

I wanted to reply to twiggle and goodways but you both have said it all perfectly. You don't need to have a partner, but I know my mum is on my back about getting a girlfriend. Maybe I'm more content being single, mum!

 

[9407]

I don't think I can ever be in a relationship. Maybe some random sex every once and a while. I have way too many problems to get a girlfriend much less keep one. I've had girls on public transit and at school (when I was at a normal school) give me looks, but I'm way too scared to approach them.

 

[lurknomore]

I feel like I'm not meant to be in a relationship- but not because I've had many bad experiences, it's because I've had so few experiences in relationships, and more don't seem to be forthcoming. I've always gone along with the attitude that if something is meant to happen it will, but it's very frustrating when what you want to happen never does- and I don't even have a clue how to become proactive about it.