Anyone else feels like they are not meant to be in relationships?

[MikeyC]

This is one of my MAJOR pet PEEVES!!! Why must people assume that you're a lesbian if you don't have a boyfriend??? Heaven forbid you might actually be ok not having a one! I just don't get it!

I've been asked if I'm gay because I hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time. It's pretty sad.

 

[deleted #89]

Hell to the no. I will be in a relationship soon.

 

[OceanMist]

I have felt like that before but the two women that i went on dates with made me feel that I should treat myself to a relationship. I think all good people are meant for relationships.

When I see "meant to," I think of what God intended, and I don't think God would intend to make good people not have relationships as long as they are alive. I just don't believe that we were sent here to suffer alone with no companionship for our entire lives.

 

[BlueDays]

. I have had people query if I was a lesbian just because I hadn’t had a bf

This is one of my MAJOR pet PEEVES!!! Why must people assume that you're a lesbian if you don't have a boyfriend??? Heaven forbid you might actually be ok not having a one! I just don't get it!

I've been asked if I'm gay because I hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time. It's pretty sad.

^Glad to read that I am not the only one to experience this.

My own mother hinted that she was curious about me possibly being a lesbian in a-round-about comment she made once because I had not had a boyfriend by the age of 27.
She then suggested that I should "become" a lesbian because of my single life!
It's annoying how some people can't understand that there are people who can be content with being single.

 

[da_illest101]

I have felt like that before but the two women that i went on dates with made me feel that I should treat myself to a relationship. I think all good people are meant for relationships.

When I see "meant to," I think of what God intended, and I don't think God would intend to make good people not have relationships as long as they are alive. I just don't believe that we were sent here to suffer alone with no companionship for our entire lives.

How do you explain the insane amount of horrible people in this world having a significant other, and the amount of decent people being alone.

 

[Invisibleman]

When I try to picture myself in a relationship I always imagine it as a miserable ordeal. One of those relationships where neither person really likes one another but they stay together anyway because theyre desperate and may not find anybody else. I cant help but picturing myself in one of these types:: In which case id rather just be alone. I guess its not that bad,atleast I dont have to worry about valentines day and birthdays and stuff.

 

[1BlackSheep]

My own mother hinted that she was curious about me possibly being a lesbian in a-round-about comment she made once because I had not had a boyfriend by the age of 27.
She then suggested that I should "become" a lesbian because of my single life!

Holy crap - I can't believe your mother suggested that! Like, yes - today I will become a lesbian. Problem solved! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

I guess its not that bad,atleast I dont have to worry about valentines day and birthdays and stuff.

See, there is a bright side to being a singleton!

 

[Iamanocean]

This always happens to me. I've gone on many dates and the guys have liked me and have told me and I just never said anything back to them because I really didn't feel it. I mean they had nothing wrong with them, I just simply didn't feel attracted or the sparks or I just didn't like them more than a friend. It kind of sucks cause it scares me. I just stopped dating only because I got too scared that every guy would end up like this. I've dated different types of guys too! It's not that I'm not attracted to guys because I am, but I just can't get my heart involved when I'm dating and I don't know why. I want to meet a guy I actually like!

 

[twiggle]

I just don't believe that we were sent here to suffer alone with no companionship for our entire lives.

I know you probably didn't mean it this way but I'd be careful with the word 'suffer'.

Being single is only a detriment if you treat it as one. More people are choosing the single life these days; they are not suffering, and they are not alone.

 

[twiggle]

It's annoying how some people can't understand that there are people who can be content with being single.

They can when they're in the midst of divorce or find out their other-half has been having an affair for many years.
I know that sounds like a negative attitude, and it's not the reason I enjoy being single by any means. I'm just trying to emphasise that there is a massive flip-side to this 'wonderful life' of relationships. The reality is that it often ends in hurt. Half of marriages here end in divorce.


On that grounds I think people would be foolish to make a relationship the central being of their life. You have to have other things that you enjoy doing. You have to like who you are and you have to know how to cope on your own.
I think there's such a thing as putting too much effort into trying to find a relationship. If you spend all your time worrying about it, what else are you going to be doing with your life? Where are your hobbies? What are your passions? I'm just going to stick to doing what I enjoy and maybe one day a guy will recognise our similar interests and beliefs and something more can develop... a guy who actually likes me and not just my gender.

Of course I'm saying 'have to' but really this is all just my opinion and what I believe. Several of my friends don't understand how or why I can feel this way but others (particularly the older ones) do.

 

[ilovenoodles]

On that grounds I think people would be foolish to make a relationship the central being of their life. You have to have other things that you enjoy doing. You have to like who you are and you have to know how to cope on your own.
I think there's such a thing as putting too much effort into trying to find a relationship. If you spend all your time worrying about it, what else are you going to be doing with your life? Where are your hobbies? What are your passions? I'm just going to stick to doing what I enjoy and maybe one day a guy will recognise our similar interests and beliefs and something more can develop... a guy who actually likes me and not just my gender.

That's how i feel about it too, well said.

 

[HeadFace]

Can we not derail this into a single life v relationship thread
It's all a matter of preference though, if I might add. For some people finding love is a higher priority. Or not just finding it. But maybe already haven found it, but trying to get the ball rolling
But back on topic...

Yeah I just. Can't see anyone ever truely admiring me. Looking to me for comfort. Being even remotely affectionate. And I just don't have any attractive traits.
Also there's that other problem where I can't really meet people. How am I supposed to meet potentional love interests if I can't make my own friends?

 

[AGR]

oh yeah I used to get that I am gay all the time,asked if I liked women,this made me lie automatically a lot as a defence mechanism,recently I was asked if I had a penis,I only answered back to him assertively like -Why are you thinking about this?(by this I meant my junk)

only because I dont think or talk about sex all the time,wont talk about taken girls,I already told him that,but I dont think he got it,only when you use force or talk back to them that people understand,but again I dont want fights in real life,because last time I did that it left me disgusted by myself of what I was capable of doing.

 

[MrJones]

I think I am not meant to be in a relationship.

Having feelings like that for someone is a rare thing and I see how I've been losing all interest in people, and even stopped finding attractive almost every woman I used to find attractive.

It would be lovely to find someone who I can connect with and that cared about me and loved me and I cared about her and I loved her, but.... I don't know, it just feels like a dream. No one ever felt anything for me, not even as a friend (or so I've been proven) and my life has been almost over more than once, who knows when the end will come. Probably I will have to accept that I will have to be alone until the day I die, as I've always been.

 

[drganon]

I honestly don't think that any women could possibly be attracted to me. There is nothing appealing or interesting about me what so ever. I'm pretty much a total and complete loser with no future.

 

[MrJones]

I honestly don't think that any women could possibly be attracted to me. There is nothing appealing or interesting about me what so ever. I'm pretty much a total and complete loser with no future.

Same here, it just seems impossible.

 

[twiggle]

Can we not derail this into a single life v relationship thread
It's all a matter of preference though, if I might add. For some people finding love is a higher priority. Or not just finding it. But maybe already haven found it, but trying to get the ball rolling
But back on topic...

Of course it's all down to preference. My point isn't necessarily about bashing relationships. I'd take one if the right guy came along at the right time. But right now there isn't anyone and my frame of mind is such that I'm more interested in other things. But the point is that sometimes society suggests that this is a strange way of thought... even my friends sometimes ask me why I'm not overly interested in finding someone... The worst phrase is, "we gotta find you a boyfriennddddd" I mean, why??

I'm just trying to point out that there's more to life, therefore nobody should feel odd just because they don't feel as though they're 'meant' to be in a relationship. Many people can and do have happy lives without ever marrying.

But of course it all depends on how you interpret the question. Whether you read 'not meant' as in.. 'I haven't had much success so maybe it's beyond my ability' or 'not meant' as in... 'my interests are in other things'. I read it as the latter hence why explaining why I'm not interested in a relationship (now anyway) ::

 

[Nanita]

I have thoughts revolving around this, I may not be well suited for relationships. I loved/love all those I have been with. But there is too much contact with random people, when I´m in relationship. I can´t take all that socializing, it just brings up my bad sides. And the institution of relationships, is weird to me. I like sharing, co-experiencing, living together, and much more. But I get stressed. I don´t know.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Holy crap - I can't believe your mother suggested that! Like, yes - today I will become a lesbian. Problem solved! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Like it's that simple anyway.

There are application forms, waiting lists, vetting procedures....

 

[Nanita]

Like it's that simple anyway.

There are application forms, waiting lists, vetting procedures....

Haha... oh god... haha