Adulthood

[Hellhound]

I was sitting here, chillin', drawin', then my mind started to wander.

I was thinking about grown people. I remembered some days ago, when I went to the cafeteria, I watched them, I often do. They sit there, watch the football channel, have beers, have a straight face, toy with their phones, talk to their table buddies...

They all behave in a way I can't really describe, I can't find the wording. I can only say it's an atmosphere that feels... dull, boring, robotic. A drawing would help me describe it better, but I haven't found any accurate image.

I go there almost everyday, I see different people but the atmosphere never changes. It's the same feeling in the streets as well.

There's not a single person who doesn't drink alcohol in there. No, they don't get drunk, nor I hate them, but it's always alcohol or coffee. Mostly alcohol, beer to be specific. When a family reunites, the parents drink alcohol while kids drink coke.

I hear them talking. Their conversations make no sense to me. I always wonder how they keep it going, it's the same over and over, how do they manage to enjoy it? Again, it feels dull and boring. In some cases, kids want to participate and they sound like they're going to say something nice, but they are blatantly ignored. It angers me, I don't know why.

I've had people around +25 approaching me, they're not hostile, but it feels as if we belonged to different universes. They bring up "adult" topics, ask questions about me, they word things in a strange way. I do it my way, they don't seem to follow, they make weird faces as if my speech made no sense to them. Their speech makes no sense to me at times, either that or it bores me to death.

An example I can think of is one of the waiters, he's 32. He often approaches me to talk because I'm one of the regulars, but I'm the only one who is close to his age, he treats me in a specific way for that. He talks about Facebook, sex, romance, womanly subjects (I can tell he has no friggin' idea of how to talk to a girl). I try to switch the conversation to ponies, video games, what we do in our spare time... but it's switched back to Facebook, sex, romance, women. Any of my words is countered with a sexual remark or a "mature" comment.

After some time, he probably learned about my lack of sex talk, my peculiar way of talking (which has become speedy and excessively flamboyant since my medication diminished my anxiety), my preferences. He assumed I'm naive, innocent and helpless. Why? No idea.

Others, in some reunion my mom went to, talked to me about politics, which is complete gibberish. I nodded and went "aaah, interesting" because I had no clue. I've been offered wine, cider, champagne, beer... I just asked for coke. They looked at me weird. I was the only one drinking coke. I was the only one not following. I was the only one wearing a hoodie with cat ears while everyone else looked fancy.

It's not like this at the cafe, but I'm still the only one wearing unisex/teenager clothing while others wear jeans, skirts, tank tops and t-shirts, usually according to their gender.

It's a whole strange universe. Not a single one of them ever mentions video games, coloring books, ponies, playing, colors, art, cartoons, cheerfulness... I get along with the youngsters better because they live in this world full of color, they don't judge you. Only a few adults, mostly elders, haven't judged me, they even treat me like a kid and I love it.

Is this thing I'm describing what adulthood is like? Because if that's the case, I don't want to be an adult, ever. I don't want to get out of my little world full of colors. I don't want to be offered champagne and have sex talks. No. I don't want to live a dull and boring life. I want to play, I want to have innocent fun, I want to look at my ponies and smile from it. I don't want to change.

Any of you know the feeling? Just curious.

Also, I'm sorry beforehand if this offends anyone.

 

[kihira]

Yes! There is something that exists in childhood that many people lose as they get older and "grow up"

 

[coyote]

grown ups still play - adulthood is not all boring stuff

the toys and games are just different

but i also agree with this:

Yes! There is something that exists in childhood that many people lose as they get older and "grow up"

i think it's the sense of wonder - of seeing everything for the first time

some people can hang onto this

the others have already seen everything and are just waiting to die

 

[jaim38]

Interesting. I know the feeling. I'm not even sure what adults talk about besides sports, tv shows, dating, travel, and work. If I find myself engaging with an adult in convo, I wouldn't have much to say. I don't watch 'adult' shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Housewives of Atlanta, Jersey Shore, etc so I can't talk about any of those. I also don't follow sports like football, basktetball, etc because of lack of interest. A lot of adults especially men love to cheer for their teams and tailgate. I don't date so, can't talk about experiences or offer advice. I also don't work at this moment so can't talk about work life. I also don't travel a lot because of lack of interest and finance.

Which leaves me with nothing to talk about, except manga and school, but I highly doubt anyone wants to talk about those subjects. I could also talk about IT but few girls are interested in that.

 

[Odo]

Talking about sex a lot isn't something that adults do, is it?

I don't think asking what people do in their spare time is childish but talking about ponies would definitely make me want to change the subject... unless you mean like actual ponies and not as in 'My Little'.

If you're actively trying to project a 'childlike' image as a 25 year old, then yeah, you're not always going to get a good reaction.

Ever since the whole anime thing took off the 'childlike' thing has kicked into overdrive and I think a lot of people are polarized. I guess women are sort of expected to be more childlike into adulthood (well, at least in the Asian cultures that are having such a strong influence on younger people these days) but yeah, it's still not something that I would expect most adults to accept.

 

[Biev]

The only thing I feel I've lost since childhood is helplessness.

 

[MikeyC]

grown ups still play - adulthood is not all boring stuff

the toys and games are just different

Yeah, exactly. Just because you're not a kid doesn't mean you're incapable of fun.

Plus, as an adult, you can choose the fun that interests you.

I can't imagine my parents allowing me to listen to death metal at the age of three.

'adult' shows ... Jersey Shore

:numberone:

 

[Klonoa]

Something similar happens to me. I don't actually try to make conversation much, but I noticed, especially during college that most of my classmates had... Dull, repetitive lives which were based on the most primal instincts: Eat, sleep and sex.

And toilet.

 

[Hellhound]

And toilet.

 

[Kiwong]

If I ever went to a bar, or cafeteria I wouldn't expect to find interesting conversations. The most uninteresting topic of conservation for me would be politics.

Instead I try to seek out people who get the things I am into. Running is one of those things. I can talk for hours with other runners, about PBs, Garmins, Fartlek, Tapers, Marathons. Non-runners just don't get it, and would probably find a conversation on those topics as boring as bat shit.

 

[skins]

well i dare say that sleezey waiter was trying to hit on you...the power of suggestion by throwing the sex talk at you every now and then, a none too subtle attempt to say he is interested.

that aside though, i'm willing to go one step further and say life in general as an adult is boring to me. It seems you just can't get the same thrills and sense of wonderment like you could as a child. Well i can't anyway...even my most beloved of hobbies i cant get the same thrills out of anymore

This might sound weird but even getting thrills from something scary i miss too. like when you're young and one of your mates tells you a scary story or says they've just seen a ghost and you half believe them, and its exciting....well you cant get that same thrill as an adult.

As an adult you know all those things don't exist...there is just no sense of the unknown anymore...and to me its as dull as anything. As an adult you pretty much know the only dangers that exist would come from yourself, another human or animal, or disease or a virus..and you also know the concequences of virtually any bad situation that could potentially happen...blurrgh...borrring....and with the comming of the internet you know how most things work and if not its just a few mouse clicks away. everything about life as an adult is a dull and repetitive routine...living life like a virtual robot. I often wonder if algae is getting more fullfillment out of life then i am.

Its also why i secretly fantasise about an alien invasion of earth of something..sure it would be scary...but atleast i would have that sense of feeling alive like i had as a child. That is untill they kill us all.

 

[skins]

I also cringe when i see adults hush a child who is trying to express themselves verbally in a group...we cant dare interrupt the important adult conversation now can we.

 

[theoutsider]

Adulthood can be a series of days that seem to become one big blur. That's because for the most part, we do the same thing day in and day out (think the movie, Groundhog Day). We work because we have responsibilities and bills to pay. We don't want to end up living on the streets. Depending on how stressful our jobs are, many of us are tired when we come home so that time is spent decompressing. By the time we have relaxed a little and have managed to get something to eat, there's often only a few hours left before going to bed, waking up the next day and starting the whole routine over again. The secret to adulthood is making the most of those hours when you decompress. Instead of vegging out, you have to learn to use that time for more interesting things and people. You can still decompress, just don't let it turn into "boring time". Also, make the most out of your vacation time. If you can't afford a big trip, space your days out and take them to do small but fun things.

It would be nice (I suppose) if we could all go through life childlike and without responsibilities or worries. But that's not the world we live in. The reality is it's impossible to have the same wonderment about things once they are not new anymore. It's impossible to escape responsibility because we all have to be responsible, at least for ourselves if not our families. A key here is to always seek out new things and experiences so that you don't lose your child-like wonderment. As adults, we shouldn't let ourselves fall into a rut of only experiencing the same things and limiting ourselves. Richer lives come from exposing ourselves to better experiences. As somebody else pointed out, we should also find more people with interests similar to our own so that we can relate better. That way, conversations don't become boring due to lack of interest in the topic being discussed. For example, I think we all find this site interesting because we can converse and share our stories with people who have similar experiences. That said, don't totally write off people who have different interests as we grow from learning different things. Just deal with those people with an open mind. They may not be your cup of tea but there still could be something there of value.

Adulthood is never going to measure up to childhood where energy, fun and freedom are concerned but it's not all gloom and doom either. Appreciate the advantages that it has over childhood and keep a positive outlook. Sometimes happiness is a choice!

 

[Hellhound]

I also cringe when i see adults hush a child who is trying to express themselves verbally in a group...we cant dare interrupt the important adult conversation now can we.

That makes me rage inside. The kid is talking and the people blatantly ignore them as if they weren't there at all. Why? It's awfully rude to do that, especially to a kid.

When I was little, I wanted to participate in family conversations and they kept ignoring me to keep talking to each other happily. It made me feel sad, left out. I know that feeling. I think that my bad habit of talk-yelling comes from being ignored as a child, because I've always had to talk-yell-throw tantrums to have any of them turn their head.

Apparently, kids don't deserve respect for the simple fact that they're kids. It's horrible, you're expected to respect others, but they don't respect you. To make it more painful, you are punished for not respecting your elders, but elders cal always get away with doing whatever the hell they want with you.

I still resent my elders a little for doing that to me. I don't hate them, but I cringe when I remember how unfair they were, for no reason.

 

[JuiceB]

i think it's the sense of wonder - of seeing everything for the first time

some people can hang onto this

I guess that's why, at 36, I have yet to grow up.

 

[Kiwong]

I still get that sense of wonder - of seeing things for the first time. There's still plenty of things I've never seen before, this world is full of surprises. I think its the natural world that gets me back in touch with a sense of wonder. I see amazing things all the time.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Personally I love being an adult. I absolutely adore being out of my teens and twenties! Being 31 is the most liberating age thus far.

 

[Odo]

Personally I love being an adult. I absolutely adore being out of my teens and twenties! Being 31 is the most liberating age thus far.

Interestingly enough, I felt the exact same way at your age... early 30s is sort of like being in your 20s, but you're more mellow and experienced and you know more about yourself. You do have more health worries, though.

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to my 40s, though.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'm looking forward to all of it Each age has something fabulous to embrace. Even when you're old and wrinkled and feeble ...you can do crazy sh*t then blame it on senility

 

[Hoppy]

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." ~C.S. Lewis

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.