A wider view of more than one (girls can play too!)

[AGR]

Depth is what is important to me, and I think that it's possible to develop deep meaningful relationships with more than one person at a time. After all, no one questions having deep meaningful friendships with more than one person at a time, do they?

please,friendship and relationships are entirely different,I would never expect to get that intimate with any of my friends be female or male,like sleeping together everyday, to be toghether in the most vulnerable times and etc.

If there are no secrets, no mistrust and everything is out in the open - then there is no harm - but so many people do it in secret - and if they do it in secret, then there is an issue with what is accecptable and not acceptable within the confines of the relationship.

agree if it was ok or they thought it was ok,they would do it in the open and not be a secret and if someone does that good for them,but I dont have to like it or agree.

 

[AGR]

One thing also this poll is wrong,if I learned one thing is that people will lie and swear all the time about those things but they act in other ways,some actually believe the lie themselves.

 

[coyote]

I know you're divorced now but how did this work out when it was happening?

i wasn't involved with anyone else when i was married - either time

 

[kilojoule]

Hmm that's a tricky one Aletheia. I think it depends on the relationship. If theres been a commitment made or not.

 

[bcsr]

Definitely not something I have any interest in or would ever tolerate in a partner.

Now, there are couples that are okay with it, and that's fine. As long as they are completely honest and upfront with any new partners and let them know what they are getting into. Any new lover needs to know exactly what kind of relationship it's going to be.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

It's more than enough work just being with one person I think about other guys but would never, ever cheat. Unless of coarse something unbelievable happened like Keanu Reeves had to cheat with me or a comet were to hit our precious planet.... than I admit i'd do it okay

 

[Aletheia]

I think about other guys but would never, ever cheat.

Neither would I. I'd never ever go behind someone's back, never have, never will. I find the thought of hurting someone like that appalling. (To the best of my knowledge, I've never been cheated on, either.)

As long as they are completely honest and upfront with any new partners and let them know what they are getting into.

Absolutely, and this is the situation I would consider.

Hmm that's a tricky one Aletheia. I think it depends on the relationship. If theres been a commitment made or not.

It does very much depend on the relationship, and whether all concerned were comfortable with it. If by committed you mean that there's an explicit or even tacit understanding that the relationship is sexually exclusive, then it's something I'd avoid.

But I believe it's possible to be committed to more than one person in the sense of having a strong and lasting bond with them. Not that I've tried it, but I love all sorts of people in a non-sexual way and that love isn't exclusive.

This is probably going to get into trouble, but the wish to control a lover's sexuality may be a product of the evolutionary drive to control one's mate's fertility. With modern contraception that's obsolete, so why would I want to treat the people I love like possessions?

 

[MikeyC]

i wasn't involved with anyone else when i was married - either time

Ah, okay. All cleared up.

 

[gazelle]

No and while I used to think I was OK with my partner doing it (openly and honestly) I'm definitely not OK with that either.It came in a hefty price for me to realize that I'm not the open relationship open minded type of person lol.

 

[Nouveau]

I've thought about it and have fantasized about it, but I don't know if I'd ever actually do it. I honestly can't say that I wouldn't, but I can't say that I would, either. I guess it depends.

 

[HeadFace]

Oh didn't see the "no but I'm okay with other people (not my partner) doing it " option
If one person is not enough for you, then you just seem really needy to me.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

Personally I prefer quality over quantity. I tend to view polyamorous relationships as being primarily about sex rather than forming lasting emotional ties, so it's simply something I'm not interested in.

 

[AGR]

This is probably going to get into trouble, but the wish to control a lover's sexuality may be a product of the evolutionary drive to control one's mate's fertility. With modern contraception that's obsolete, so why would I want to treat the people I love like possessions?

To me its the other way around,treating them like objects that you can just lend to other people shows that you dont care about them at all.

 

[Invisibleman]

I dunno. Ive kinda thought about it not so much directly,but ive often thought that theres so many girls out there,so many girls I could potentially be with how could I possibly choose just one?
But then at the same time I do believe a deep and long lasting emotional bond should be between two people. I kind of think of that special connection like a rare object. If theres only one of that object its value is very high, the more objects there is the more the value of the object decreases. <daft analogy but whatever.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

why would you need more than one? I'd only want one guy to share a life with. If i had more I'd feel like I'm just using them, playing games with them, or gaining personal pleasure or content from something which one has and the other doesnt which isn't really right. it would be tiresome and time consuming and i may end up picking favourites, which means i'd just wanna stay with one instead.

i only need one person - one for one - it's equal - it's complete. equal give and take of the relationship. share the same memories. share the same feelings. appreciate them for who they are, all their qualities, good and bad. love everything they are, or everything they lack, and know that no other partner could replace or be equal to them.
blahhh i feel sick writing mushy love stuff lol but that's why i could only have one partner.
if i was a person who had more than one partner, i'd want them all to be aware of it and be accepting, but i don't think i could spend time with more than one at a time. like i'd have to rotate through them.

oh and what do you mean by polyamory? do you mean polyandry and polygyny?

 

[Kat]

One’s enough to fill my love tank. I have a few phobias not just social. It would go against my brain chemistry in every sense emotionally and phobic ally. I’m ok with others choosing that lifestyle if all parties involved are ok with it.

 

[AGR]

To me its the other way around,treating them like objects that you can just lend to other people shows that you dont care about them at all.

Or like a kid who just got a new toy,he will play with it until the high wears off then he will look to play with other ones or with new ones.

 

[Etbow23]

I know you're divorced now but how did this work out when it was happening?

Good question, Mikey C

As for if you're in a relationship,I think cheating usually always hurts all parties involved eveventually.

If you're not in a relationship, it's a)dangerous physically (diseases) & b)not emotionally healthy.

I believe strongly in monogamous relationships- being in one now I can say it's the healthiest & best thing

 

[Section_31]

*cough&*

umm....yea!. Been there....done that!!......was alot of fun and those were my relatively younger years of 18-21.......my wife knows,. And ive never done anything like that since.

There wasnt any real emotions involved, just good friendship and good (safe!) sex. No one got hurt and everybody was on the same wavelength.

It was probably still a stupid thing to do at the time, but i learned alot and it helped me be emotionally mature enough for when i met the love of my life.

Do i regret it?. No.

 

[Agent_Violet]

When i was younger I was all about multiple lovers. It was great and I don't regret it.

It just isn't what I'm into anymore. I'm too stressed out as it is to keep track of multiple relationships and multiple lovers. it isn't worth the hassle anymore.