It's hard to describe Blue, yet simple at the same time.
I hate living this simple life, being a slave to the system. My whole being yearns for more. I feel as if I have been born in the wrong time or something..I feel so alone all the time. Even in a crowded room to which I was invited, ppl chatting to me, I'm smiling at them but my heart is literally breaking. I'm tired of wearing a mask of social conformity
I can't bear this. I can't do this.
Very sad to read what you are feeling/thinking atm because frustratingly, there is no "cure" for what you are going through...Except maybe finding a new way to distract your mind? Distract it from thinking about what is making it suffer? :idontknow:
I could have written your post myself, word for word. There must be lots of other people out there who are also sick of wearing a mask to conform with the social obstacle course we are forced to jump/run through on a daily basis.
Just surviving, not really being allowed to actually "live" our lives. I suppose that is why there are so many people on Antidepressants/medication now.
If I was a doctor seeing society crumbling under the financial/housing/work pressures that it is at the moment, and having to hand out pills to help ease people's mental pain, I would not be able to handle it. It must be very soul destroying for them. Well some of them, at least the ones that are not jaded.
It does not help that family, community are so disconnected today. Back when they used to have regular local dances in the town halls, at least people could talk face to face with their neighbours, friends and build up close relationships that just don't get formed today because no one has enough spare time to develop the strong bonds that locals used to form at those regular town hall dances etc.
My Grandmother met her husband at one of those local dances back in the 1920's. She said so many people used to meet who they ended up marrying at those community get-togethers.
