Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

FountainandFairfax said:

I'm an alpha snail.

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Sarah_M said:

I'm pretty much useless in a crisis situation and I am a master procrastinator to boot. Awesome.

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Sarah_M said:

I'm pretty much useless in a crisis situation and I am a master procrastinator to boot. Awesome.

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The Self-Deserting Avoidant

A clear example of the influence of different personality domains is found in this last subtype of avoidant patterns. Self-deserting avoidants combine the social (interpersonal) retreating of the avoidant with the ruminative (cognitive) self-devaluation of the depressive personality. These individuals immerse themselves in a surrogate fantasy existence to avoid the discomfort of having to relate to others. They are not, however, unaware of their use of these tactics (unless, for example, they are concurrently experiencing a major depressive episode with psychosis), and this makes them painfully aware of their perceived inadequacies. Fantasy gradually becomes less effective, and their thoughts center more and more on the misery of their lives and the anguish of past experiences. Waking dreams are displaced by painful ruminations.

Thus totally interiorized, the feelings that motivated their initial withdrawal reverberate unremittingly. More and more, they cannot tolerate being themselves and seek to completely withdraw from their own conscious awareness, an existential abnegation of selfhood. Some become increasingly neglectful psychologically and physically, even to the point of neglecting basic hygiene. Some plunge into despair and are driven toward suicide, abandoning life as a means of ridding themselves of inner anguish and horror of their own identities. Others regress into a state of emotional numbness in which they are completely disconnected from themselves. In particularly severe cases, the structure of consciousness itself may split or fragment, leaving a regressive disorganization reminiscent of the schizotypal personality. As this process proceeds, self-deserting avoidants become outside spectators, observing from without the drama of their frightening transformation.

The Phobic Avoidant

Like the avoidant, dependent personalities desire close personal relationships; unlike the avoidant's basic sense of mistrust, however, dependents invest their trust (and much of their sense of self) in a significant other and relentlessly dread the potential loss of that relationship. Phobic avoidants combine features of these two personalities. Trapped between desire and the possibility of abandonment, phobic avoidants find a symbolic substitute onto which to project or displace their fear and anger. A free-floating and barely tolerable sense of anxiety or dread is thus concretized and shifted away from its true object: It's not the boyfriend or girlfriend, but the dog next door that is to be feared. By fleeing the phobic object or situation, such individuals seek to free themselves by symbolically leaving fear behind. Such phobias express the avoidant's fear of personal rejection, humiliation, and shame. For many phobic avoidants, the expression of fear in the presence of the phobic object also represents a cry for compassion, a desire to make instrumental use of fear as a means of disarming rejection and abandonment threats by eliciting support from otherwise unsupportive persons. Thus, phobic avoidants may successfully distance themselves from anxiety-producing situations, while also soliciting a degree of tolerance from others: You can't really hate her for not wanting to take the job at the dam; she has a fear of drowning. Unfortunately, such attempts often backfire, for the phobia itself may elicit mockery.

Note, too, that many personalities experience phobic syndromes. Some exhibit dramatic displays; others, being more constrained, show a motor restlessness and worry about being exposed as weak and inadequate. Irritable personalities seem always on edge, even when the phobic object is not present; avoidants hide their fears under a quiet public reserve.

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theslowesthand said:

Loss is painful, but maybe it's good for the "soul"? :question:

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Hot_Tamale said:

I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!

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FountainandFairfax said:

The older I get, the more my depression manifests itself physically. Especially when something really bugs me. I'll get these flu-like headaches with a lot of pressure in my frontal sinuses and all I want to do is go to bed to get away from it. Once I've slept a few hours it starts to subside, and I'm usually myself again after about a day.

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Hot_Tamale said:

I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!

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