Recent content by alwaysrunning

i am an idiot :/

i know i dont deserve to be here and i feel like ive been lying because perhaps my shyness isnt as bad as others here, but even then i was only diluding myself. Im pretty sure i have an eating disorder and i know ppl will judge me because of it but im tired of not talking about it for fear that...

If all goes according to plan by the time im done writing this journal my shyness will have diminished to the point where i will finally be able to appreciate it, after all my shyness is a part of myself, and why would i ever desecrate my being in a way that morbid and cruel? I have always had...

Ever since i started getting my period when i was about twelve(13?), i would start getting attacks, but since i also have asthma at first i couldnt tell the difference except that they felt worse and yet would pass faster and leave me extremely tired and ashamed that it was nothing serious even...

In the past i was reaaaaally intimidated by guys i was attracted to so i started to only talk to guys i wasnt attracted to...(wierd i know). But now ive recently decided to just jump into high waters and attempt to rid myself of my shyness for good. Ive done it in the past but more so recently...

Im great at starting these so i thought id try them here and get to know some of you even more...Lets try doing them with pictures!!! Pick whichever one or more that you desire 1.Most embarrassing celebrity crush (everyone thinks im a wierdo when i tell them ::o:) johnathan davis - Bing Images...

Two summers ago i worked a summer job where i met this guy who was about two years younger than me. Im not sure how but he noticed that my shyness was rather deep and wasted no time having fun with it. I hate that this happens but when guys show interest in me i always assume its because theyre...

Faking being ok feels awful but at least people are still around. When i let my real feelings and fears be known i just alienate people i care about to the point that they dont want to be around me anymore. From now on ill only be sad around myself, ill pretend to be ok when im dying inside, are...

Who else feels stuck in this wierd in between life transistion? I mean sometimes i feel like i want to be over with college and be out there in the real world but then again those thoughts scare me outta my mind. When im awarded too much responsibility i resent it because i know im not ready for...

Ive had people in the past and present tell me that im always talking about wanting to do things but then i never actually do them. Only two people know about my SA but seem to have forgotten about it since i told them. Apparantly this isnt a big issue and i just need to get over it and...

Ever since my grandmother died a couple months ago ive fallen back into insessant need to control my food intake, meal times, calories etc. Its gotten to a point where im almost always hungry or always full. When i started i weighed about 123ish pounds. My now ex friends and I would go out every...

I hate it when you look at me and all you think is SHY. I hate it when you say to me well maybe if you would just try. You pass me by, you might say "Hi". Then i just look down and wave a quick goodbye. You dont think much of it, you dont think much at all, afterall Theres not much to think...

Does anyone here feel like when they are expressing their feelings to others even on the forum like youre being a burden or too needy and therefore just close up. Im usually shy but ok at first then when things progress in time with people i just start acting distant and moody because i feel...

Im currently having problems with my two closest friends because they cannot get around my shyness. Its devastating and confusing at the same time that they have expressed that it seems that i dont care so they now tell me that they dont care anymore. Maybe i have been avoiding them but...