Im scared-i cant do this anymore

[alwaysrunning]

i know i dont deserve to be here and i feel like ive been lying because perhaps my shyness isnt as bad as others here, but even then i was only diluding myself. Im pretty sure i have an eating disorder and i know ppl will judge me because of it but im tired of not talking about it for fear that others will dislike me. Ive heard jokes even here about anorexia and it kills me to hear them. now im scared of getting fat beacuse i keep binge eating. Im so screwed up and i just want someone to hold sometimes, but i wont dare tell people that i need them. I told my therapist about it from school but now im afraid of seeing him again bcz hell think im cray or something. I hope you all wont judge me, i just needed to get that off my chest and not feel fake anymore. Im sorry.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I certainly won't judge you, you do deserve to be here - everyone does, you're not screwed up, and you definitely don't have to be sorry about anything. I know it's hard to be able to tell others about these kinds of problems and I can relate to having that fear of telling others about such problems, thinking they'll judge me. Just know that everyone here on this site has a story of their own to tell, filled with problems, and that nobody here will ever judge you because they've been judged and they know how crappy it feels.

Feel free to talk to me and get anything off your chest whenever you like. I'll always listen

 

[kihira]

i know i dont deserve to be here and i feel like ive been lying because perhaps my shyness isnt as bad as others here, but even then i was only diluding myself. Im pretty sure i have an eating disorder and i know ppl will judge me because of it but im tired of not talking about it for fear that others will dislike me. Ive heard jokes even here about anorexia and it kills me to hear them. now im scared of getting fat beacuse i keep binge eating. Im so screwed up and i just want someone to hold sometimes, but i wont dare tell people that i need them. I told my therapist about it from school but now im afraid of seeing him again bcz hell think im cray or something. I hope you all wont judge me, i just needed to get that off my chest and not feel fake anymore. Im sorry.

Don't feel bad, we all care; its good that you are facing the problem and I'm sure there will be lots of help on offer here. I think it would be wise to still keep seeing your school therapist, eating disorders are very common so he/she should be a good source of understanding.

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Everything will be fine, on this site your among friends or people who like to help, give feedback, share stories, and offer their lives anonymously to strangers who go through the same/similar things you may face.

and btw i'm from nor cal as well, so if your ever in/near Berkeley we can grab a bite to eat. I just started interning there 3weeks ago and the food hasn't let me down yet. Good luck w/ everything.

 

[Prestonator]

i know i dont deserve to be here and i feel like ive been lying because perhaps my shyness isnt as bad as others here, but even then i was only diluding myself. Im pretty sure i have an eating disorder and i know ppl will judge me because of it but im tired of not talking about it for fear that others will dislike me. Ive heard jokes even here about anorexia and it kills me to hear them. now im scared of getting fat beacuse i keep binge eating. Im so screwed up and i just want someone to hold sometimes, but i wont dare tell people that i need them. I told my therapist about it from school but now im afraid of seeing him again bcz hell think im cray or something. I hope you all wont judge me, i just needed to get that off my chest and not feel fake anymore. Im sorry.

Hey there!

Well i can actually relate to you as an affect of my anxiety I have suffered an eating disorder too and still am. I was serverley underweight at one point, and still am underweight. I think you have probably reached the first step which is accepting you have a problem, right? You should maybe try joining some groups who target people with eating disorders if you haven't already?

An eating disorder is an illness. It is something that should be dealt with. I know because I am still suffering from one myself. You really need to get help though. You're therapist will not judge. I he/she did then they wouldn't be doing their job properly!

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

i know i dont deserve to be here and i feel like ive been lying because perhaps my shyness isnt as bad as others here, but even then i was only diluding myself. Im pretty sure i have an eating disorder and i know ppl will judge me because of it but im tired of not talking about it for fear that others will dislike me. Ive heard jokes even here about anorexia and it kills me to hear them. now im scared of getting fat beacuse i keep binge eating. Im so screwed up and i just want someone to hold sometimes, but i wont dare tell people that i need them. I told my therapist about it from school but now im afraid of seeing him again bcz hell think im cray or something. I hope you all wont judge me, i just needed to get that off my chest and not feel fake anymore. Im sorry.

There's no shame in admitting your problem - you deserve to be here - I know many ppl feel similar with different issues perhaps, about feeling "fake" or being "judged" for truly opening up or admitting things - we're not alone, despite the feelings as such -it takes A LOT OF COURAGE to do this...

Your therapist is a therapist and won't think you're crazy, that's just the fear talking, facing these deep issues are hard, but he can help.

You'll find only support here - so take your time, be open we're here to listen and help

 

[coyote]

there are number of people on this site with eating disorders

you're not alone here

 

[panicsurvivor]

Dude!! You are fake if you come to this site to laugh and troll, not for having a disorder that is different, from others. This Site is called SocialPhobiaWorld, and I don't have a trace of SA. The very concept is crazy to me. My friends on this site know that and accept me, and have helped me at times.

Having said that, you might benefit from a different site that focus's on eating disorders. Where we all want to help and listen we might not have that much advice, that can help you. I am not saying to switch site by all means stay here to, but maybe try to find one that has more to offer. Maybe some of our members with eating disorders might know of one.

 

[Prestonator]

Having said that, you might benefit from a different site that focus's on eating disorders. Where we all want to help and listen we might not have that much advice, that can help you. I am not saying to switch site by all means stay here to, but maybe try to find one that has more to offer. Maybe some of our members with eating disorders might know of one.

Yeah there is a site called BEAT which has forums on, but that is specifically for the UK, so I supposed it depends if you live there or not! BEAT specifically targets and supports people with eating disorders....

 

[Feathers]

Hey honey!

Whatever made you think eating disorders aren't 'allowed' on this site?
Yeah, there have been a number of other people who have had those too... Agreed, you might find more expert help/support elsewhere, by all means stay here too if it seems helpful even a little bit.
ED can affect all parts of your health and life, by all means the brain too... so by working on the ED you'll actually be recovering from SA too!! BDD is covered under the 'OCD' part of the forum too...

And if anyone laughs or makes fun of in a hurtful way, maybe try to have a word with that person OR tell a mod!! Rude or hurtful behaviour is not allowed on this site!!

Sometimes people may joke while not trying to hurt or may just not understand something, in that case try to explain and educate - lots of people or their relatives may encounter such problems at some point in life, so it's helpful to learn about it for everyone!!