How are you feeling?

FountainandFairfax · Dec 3, 2017

That's heavy shit, Gates.

Graeme1988 · Dec 3, 2017

Numb. Devoid of life. Like I'm just observing life, rather than actually living it. :crying:

Ah don't know why I bother anymore, to be honest. :idontknow: Ah try to be a good person, but my family clearly f*ckin' hate me for that, and because I'm not like them. Beyond the obvious being a man. :sad:

Hot_Tamale · Dec 3, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
Numb. Devoid of life. Like I'm just observing life, rather than actually living it. :crying:

Ah don't know why I bother anymore, to be honest. :idontknow: Ah try to be a good person, but my family clearly f*ckin' hate me for that, and because I'm not like them. Beyond the obvious being a man. :sad:

I know what that feels like. I'm currently going through a similar situation. Almost 2 weeks ago from today I lost my 5 month old puppy to the shelter system and more than likely (by now) to a new family. Numb...devoid of enjoyment in any of my hobbies...my anger is poisoning my relationship with the people I work with. Every Christmas my entire family - cousins, aunts, uncles - all have a get-together with plenty of food and games. I refuse to go. I don't care to see any of them. Not this year.

Graeme1988 · Dec 3, 2017

Hot_Tamale said:
I know what that feels like. I'm currently going through a similar situation. Almost 2 weeks ago from today I lost my 5 month old puppy to the shelter system and more than likely (by now) to a new family. Numb...devoid of enjoyment in any of my hobbies...my anger is poisoning my relationship with the people I work with.

Sorry to hear about the puppy. :sad:

Hot_Tamale said:
Every Christmas my entire family - cousins, aunts, uncles - all have a get-together with plenty of food and games. I refuse to go. I don't care to see any of them. Not this year.

If only I could do the same...

Sadly, I'm still obligated to spend time with my family on Christmas. Despite the fact we don't get along at all. And I don't enjoy being in the same room as them, regardless of the time of year. But if I don't do it, I'm selfish twat.

mg:

Hot_Tamale · Dec 3, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
If only I could do the same...

Sadly, I'm still obligated to spend time with my family on Christmas. Despite the fact we don't get along at all. And I don't enjoy being in the same room as them, regardless of the time of year. But if I don't do it, I'm selfish twat. mg:

Groundskeeper Willie: Daym Scots, dey rooined Scotlund.

Maybe I should go after all. I did agree to the secret Santa gift exchange this year so it would be in my best interest.

Graeme1988 · Dec 4, 2017

Hot_Tamale said:
Groundskeeper Willie: Daym Scots, dey rooined Scotlund.

Hot_Tamale said:
Maybe I should go after all. I did agree to the secret Santa gift exchange this year so it would be in my best interest.

Aye, why not. Ye never know, it might be fun. :thumbup:

Sure sounds a helluva lot better than what I'm gonnae endure. Sitting at the head o' the dinning table, dour, stone-faced n' huvin snarky remarks directed at me. "You're no very talkative. Whit wrang?" :kickingmyself: Aw the while, in my head I'm going: How... in thee f*ck am I related to those folk?

mg:

Graeme1988 · Dec 4, 2017

Is wrong to hate yer ain family? :question: Does that make ye a bad person? :idontknow:

PugofCrydee · Dec 4, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
Is wrong to hate yer ain family? :question: Does that make ye a bar person? :idontknow:

Nope! :bigsmile:

Graeme1988 · Dec 4, 2017

PugofCrydee said:
Nope! :bigsmile:

Thanks for that. Am feeling a wee bit less guilty for actually hating them now.

Even my family beg to differ with me in that regard. We've all got to get along, my Mum says.

h:

My older sister says I'll be glad once she move back out of the house. Never truer word spoken. Aye, and I'll be overjoyed when I finally get a place of my own. Cuz that stubborn bitch has done nothing but complain that we - me, the eldest sister and our mother - have done for her. Wouldnae call taking in a homeless family member doing nuthin', but what do I know? :idontknow:

Maybe after I'm outta the way, my mum and sisters will finally see that all my criticism of them has not only been justified, but right in pointing out things they should change about them, internally.

Marc7 · Dec 5, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
That would mean filling out another referral form at GPs office, and waiting a few months. Plus, I don;t know how much therapy would help me when a good percent of why I'm anxious and depressed is due my family constantly arguing about dumb sh!t, never getting along and always disappointing me whenever I do pluck up the courage to ask for their help, or them outright berating me for even daring to ask. As if doing so is burden to them.

And yet, ironically, anytime they ask me to do something, I do it. But then that's the only time they're ever genuinely nice and grateful toward me.

I guess still give it a try. That's hypocritical of them.

Graeme1988 said:
Well I just wish she'd tell her daughters what she's telling me. Rather than lump in with them, every time she says "You lot treat me like sh!t!". Given that I'm nowhere near as bad as my sisters. Like if I get angry at my mum about something she said or did, I'll get mad in that moment. She'll talk back to me, I'll swear at her. But then I'll say sorry and move on. My sisters can spend half an hour being mad at our mum, and really berate her. After which I'll get it and brunt of her anger than should be direct at them.

But, no, my mother will never treat my sister as she does me. Cuz the youngest of the 2 sisters takes criticism that feckin' personally, she sees it as bullying, rather something to learn from and change. Oh, and despite being an adult, she reacts like a teenager to an criticism that she perceives as negative. Throwing a loud tantrum - crying, slamming doors, shoutin' n' swearing. And, generally, not listening. :thumbdown: :kickingmyself: It's the main reason why I rarely if every attempt to strike up a conversation with her, and pretty much ignore her.

Oh. That's messed up. So your mother doesn't treat your sister the same as you because of how she acts?

Marc7 · Dec 5, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
Oh, at least it went well despite yer anxiety. Well done for getting through it. :thumbup:
And I can definitely relate to feeling bad the next day, or being very critical of things you might've said or done.

In my opinion it didn't go well for me. Thank you.

Or not speaking. Yea it sucks.

Graeme1988 · Dec 5, 2017

Marc7 said:
In my opinion it didn't go well for me. Thank you.

Kinda thought that. :sad: Just tried to focus on the positive, cuz I know ah wouldn't attend a get together. Don't even bother with family get together. As I know how those end with my family...

Marc7 said:
Or not speaking. Yea it sucks.

Yeah, I get that a lot if my sister and I go to the local supermarket, and she sees someone she knows and sticks up a conversation with them. And unless the person also knows me, I'm usually left standing there until my sister introduces me.

Graeme1988 · Dec 5, 2017

Marc7 said:
I guess still give it a try.

Given how things have been August 2017, I know ah'll just breakdown in tears at being asked how I've been feeling lately. To the point where filling out the would be impossible. :crying:

I'd be better off waiting to hear back from my local housing department and moving out.

Marc7 said:
That's hypocritical of them.

Uh-huh! But they don't see that, because - to them - I'm the one who's never grateful. :idontknow: I've gave trying to comprehend the logic of my mother and sisters.

Marc7 said:
Oh. That's messed up. So your mother doesn't treat your sister the same as you because of how she acts?

Yeah, says she afraid of her.

AtTheGates · Dec 5, 2017

I feel bad for this young girl. She's probably only 9 or 10 and has to put up with her mother's drug abuse.

I hope whoever filmed this video got them some help. : (

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l_YuMIpNrk

Graeme1988 · Dec 5, 2017

AtTheGates said:
I feel bad for this young girl. She's probably only 9 or 10 and has to put up with her mother's drug abuse.

I hope whoever filmed this video got them some help. : (

Agreed! And that moment when the girl is trying to tell her mum about how no-one can get by because of the bag... :sad:

AtTheGates · Dec 5, 2017

Graeme1988 said:
Agreed! And that moment when the girl is trying to tell her mum about how no-one can get by because of the bag... :sad:

Seriously! I wonder if anyone ever ended up getting any help for that girl. If someone can sit there and just film them, you'd think they'd inquire into the situation as well.

Graeme1988 · Dec 5, 2017

AtTheGates said:
Seriously! I wonder if anyone ever ended up getting any help for that girl. If someone can sit there and just film them, you'd think they'd inquire into the situation as well.

Yeah. No-one really seemed that bothered, really. Aside from the wee girl, obviously.
I certainly hope both of them got help. At the very least, other family members should and would've been concerned enough to get the mother into rehab, and care for her daughter, while she got clean.

Graeme1988 · Dec 6, 2017

Like my life's just going to sh!t in all honesty. :crying: :kickingmyself:

I'm considering becoming a recluse, cuz why bother trying to be social when most folk just take an instant dislike towards ye? :sad: :alone: Besides, it's hard to feel lonely when you've spent most o' yer life alone.

FountainandFairfax · Dec 6, 2017

Like I want to sleep for a year.

defiance · Dec 6, 2017

I curse the day I was born. More so lately because things just aren't getting any better. I just don't know anymore man......I just don't know.

How are you feeling?

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