How are you feeling?

Marc7 said: ↑

It's frustrating but you should try to hang on to your life. Maybe release the frustration somehow by coping skills or therapy if possible.

Tried therapy, but my therapist gave my mother and sisters a free pass for their attitude towards me. Apparently, cuz they treat me like crap doesn't mean they don't love me. :idontknow:

Marc7 said: ↑

Oh, so she is not better towards you?

Not really. I mean she's slightly nicer to me. But she still venting to me about how my sisters treat her, rather than asserting her authority as a parent and stand up for herself, like she does with me. :kickingmyself:

Marc7 said: ↑

I think there is a link between the three.

So do I... But my Mum doesn't want to acknowledge that. :sad:

Marc7 said: ↑

So your not caught up with things either?

Not really. Not as much as I used to be. I haven't even keep up with the latest TV shows that everyone's talking about.

Marc7 said: ↑

Sorry for the barrage of questions.

No need to apologise. :thumbup:

Marc7 said: ↑

So the council is like the government right?

Yeah, kinda, except smaller and more local to a specific community area or region. If that makes sense?

Marc7 said: ↑

So it is like the poorer area?

Pretty much. Very poor in fact

Marc7 said: ↑

You still live in the rough council estate?

No. Thankfully my family moved when I was about 5 or 6 to a more central part of the town, which is nicer certainly. There's still the odd bit of anti-social behaviour, but it's not a frequent. At worst, it's folk verbally arguing after a night out at the pub as they make their way home. Or drunks women loudly singing accapella versions of the latest pop music hits and laughing as they stagger home.

Marc7 said: ↑

What does posh mean?

There's a few definitions of that word. But in terms of describing a person as posh, it just mean they're more upper class compared to someone from a working-class background. But then my mother and one of my cousins think I'm posh purely because I know what the word "genre" means. This and the fact I know how spell "big words" makes me "posh" in their eyes. 🤭
Nevermind if I didn't do that well in school. 🙄

Marc7 said: ↑

It won't send from your end? Maybe try sending it again and if that doesn't work then try sending it on a different device.

Tried that multiple time, the response won't show up after I've tried it and hit the enter/return key on my keyboard. Even after I refresh the page. 😕 Could be a web browser issue?

Anyway, I'll be getting a new laptop in a few days, so I'll try and respond to you then okay? And the chat doesn't seem to work when I'm accessing this form via my tablet device.

Marc7 said: ↑

Feeling like crap from a Thanksgiving get together from last nite as usual :kickingmyself:.

Didn't go well, huh? :sad:

Marc7 said: ↑

It won't send from your end? Maybe try sending it again and if that doesn't work then try sending it on a different device.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Tried that multiple time, the response won't show up after I've tried it and hit the enter/return key on my keyboard. Even after I refresh the page. 😕 Could be a web browser issue?

Anyway, I'll be getting a new laptop in a few days, so I'll try and respond to you then okay? And the chat doesn't seem to work when I'm accessing this form via my tablet device.

Got the issue with the chat sorted. Turns out there was a few issues with the web browser I was using, so I've switched to a different one and managed to reply to your last message, Marc. :thumbup: :perfect:

Ammonium Nitrite i believe.

After days like this, I feel like I'm just a miserable human being deep down. I think about that a little more though, and "deep down" is just an expression. It's one that is used so often it's easy to forget we don't literally have a "deep down". Today I was miserable for a bit, tomorrow I could be not miserable for any bits. It's unfair to myself to try to so strictly define myself in that way I think.

F*ckin' miserable ! This year shouldnae huv turned out like this for me. It's like last year has been utterly pointless :crying: Ah feel like I've put my life on hold just to appease my family who don't care about me. Well, they say they do. And yet, nae consideration is given tae how ah feel. Or, how the constant, petty arguments and complaining to, and about me, affects me. :sad: And they say ah don't care... Funny how it's me, then, who's keeping my family together. :idontknow: :kickingmyself:

vj288 said: ↑

After days like this, I feel like I'm just a miserable human being deep down. I think about that a little more though, and "deep down" is just an expression. It's one that is used so often it's easy to forget we don't literally have a "deep down". Today I was miserable for a bit, tomorrow I could be not miserable for any bits. It's unfair to myself to try to so strictly define myself in that way I think.

I've just always been empty. I'll do something fun and I'll enjoy it, or talk to someone cool and feel good for a little while, but it's mostly just for the moment. In between those times I'm just zero. It goes against every notion of maleness to constantly need something external to make me feel good, or anything other than cold and detached, but there you have it. I'm not independent at all, though I'm alone and I exist alone, without some kind of outside validation that I'm a real person I'm just a flat-line zombie on a guilt trip for a life I never lived.

Nearly broke down in tear this morning. :crying: Why? Because my family seems to be under the impression that it's perfectly fine for them to dump their emotional baggage onto me, and blame me for their problems. Doesnae matter if ah did nuthin' wrong. And I'm now half-jokingly referred to as the "family therapist". :thumbdown: :kickingmyself:

None of them seem to see their attitude is partly responsible for their problems. This schizophrenic mixes of arrogance, narcissism and victim-hood. But that seems to be how the wimmin in my family are. :idontknow:

On the positive side, my mother finally admitted that she spoiled my older sister growing up, more than she did me or my oldest sister.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

This schizophrenic mixes of arrogance, narcissism and victim-hood

I wonder, could that be all the ego's doing? The insecurity & victim-hood = ego feels inferior, & the arrogance, narcissism = ego tries to feel superior to make up for feeling inferior. :question:

Feeling i'm missing out on "proper" entertainment/activities. Always at home, by myself. But then, most real people are crazy & difficult & i can't endure them; they stress me out, especially males (females are more easy-going it seems; males are the ones who are hyperactive/pressuring/attention-seeking/etc it seems; ie males in general seem more immature).

My grandfather fell yesterday, and he's not going to pull through, he's being taken off life support today. I've been fortunate enough to go through 26 years of my life without anyone in my family passing away, I don't know how I am going to feel.

vj288 said: ↑

My grandfather fell yesterday, and he's not going to pull through, he's being taken off life support today. I've been fortunate enough to go through 26 years of my life without anyone in my family passing away, I don't know how I am going to feel.

If you were close, you're going to take the loss pretty hard. I've had 3 people in my family pass way over the years. My 2 uncles, a cousin and my father. But it depends how ya take it, I had a bit of a delayed reaction to hearing the news of my dad passing. :sad:

theslowesthand said: ↑

I wonder, could that be all the ego's doing? The insecurity & victim-hood = ego feels inferior, & the arrogance, narcissism = ego tries to feel superior to make up for feeling inferior. :question:

Yer probably right, but it's hard to tell when my mother and older sister tend to snap at me whenever I ask a simple question. :idontknow: Then, second after it, my mum will say sorry her overreaction. My sister on the hand, she never apologises... for anything. :thumbdown:

Just grinding through another day. Trying to improve my situation by taking more risks. Putting myself out there and communicating with people more. It isn't working but I am still trying.:idontknow:

Numb. Low energy. Can't be arsed. Cannae even bringing masel' tae distract myself from ma bleak situation. And I've got plenty to take ma mind off things. :sad: Books, music, DVDs? But nope, I'm just sitting here, stewing in my rage, wait for that one smug, disrespectful remark for my older sister to pushing me over the edge. :kickingmyself: :bat: But hey, that's what depression'll do tae ye! :🙁:

jinxed said: ↑

feeling really down and I have to do something about it.

Same here. :sad: But my family don't seem to care if I'm miserable. My mother on the other hand... :thumbdown: :kickingmyself:

jinxed said: ↑

Oh sorry about that.

Nay need to feel sorry for me. I'll get through it.

jinxed said: ↑

Mine is to do with a relationship online and I like true kindness, etc, I have to talk it all out. I'm unhappy about it.

I guess I'm in a similar situation with my family. :sad: But, stubborn as they are, they refusing to listening or talk it out.

Always torn between treating others the way you want to be treated and treating others the way they treat you.