just_a_person
Member
I'm extremely frustrated with myself to the point of crying; I can never feel myself or "natural" around people. It's probably because of all the social pressure I feel when I'm talking to others. When I'm around people I know I should probably talk to, I tense up and get really scared of the impending judgment. By judgment, I mean first and second impressions whether good or bad, since even good impressions put pressure on me to stay socially attractive. I end up saying the stupidest crap just to say something, which can be really embarrassing and which makes it hard to make and keep friends. Since I'm a pretty sensitive person, this hurts me a lot emotionally. My perpetual stiffness even shows when I'm driving, since I don't think straight and speed home when I feel the pressure of other vehicles. I wish so much that I didn't get awkwardly stiff all the time, and I hate myself so much when I fail by doing so, since I feel like I can't control it. Any ideas for not being so stiff and for not crumbling under social pressure?