I can't help myself but wonder

psych

psych

Well-known member
OceanMist said:
The age could be a factor but I guarantee you the "doesn't want kids" thing is not working against you.

If anything not wanting kids should work for you. A lot of guys run when they hear a woman has a kid or want a kid.

The main thing is profiles are so petty compared to pictures. Pictures are practically everything on dating sites. Most men will just look at your pic and decide whether to message you.
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That was another issue. Guys message me based on a picture alone. Most never even read the profile...

I know from experience that dating a religious guy is pointless for me. There is simply no option for anything lasting. & The arguments are enough to bring on a heart attack. So, I immediately rule out guys that are religious.

Another issue is country/pop/rap music... This will not make me popular, but I don't care.
I know from past experience that if we drive each other nuts with our choice in music it really kills things in the peaceful shared downtime department. I don't want to have to wear earbuds just to chill to my tunes. :rolleyes: He shouldn't have to either.

I know most guys on here don't want kids... But, though a broadcasting of how bad you want kids will scare men off up front like that... :eek:
Many men who say up front that they don't want children are actually really undecided... Like my ex, who now has two.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
Emerald_ said:
What a charmer! You are coming across as quite bitter and hostile about it all, maybe it's not your gender affecting the amount of messages you get...

Good luck with it.
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(Sarcastically) Yeah, it's just because I'm a jerk, right?

You don't know me nor have you read messages that I send to women. I've sent hundreds of appropriate messages to women that don't get responded to.

This is what I hate about the reactions to my complaints. People automatically assume I'm a jerk because I'm angry about something that isn't fair and then they go on to assume that I must be being a jerk to women that I'm trying to date.

I'm a kind person in real life. I wouldn't expect any of you to know that because guess what, you don't me.

How would you feel if you were having trouble in dating and me, someone who doesn't know you said it was because you are a jerk? Think about that.

If I said that I'd probably be banned and would have the entire SPW community hate me. Instead you just get a pat on the back for "putting the shy man in his place."

Real fair.
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
Well, it goes without saying that when you are a gorgeous woman, the world is handed to you on a silver platter.
On the other hand us below average or in other words unattractive, don't get squat for messages.
Honestly I would be happy to receive only one good message a month. But that's not what I get. I get 5 spam type per month.
 
skins

skins

1
wow a lot of tempers flaring in this thread, everyone calm down...the reality is that in the human species the female choses a worthy mate, not the other way round. Its up to the man to prove he is worthy enough for her, and all she has to do is sit back and wait and given enough time there will become a choice between different men competing for her attention. its the same as in birds...the male flashes all his pretty colours and dispalys to the best of his potential and its up to the female to either accept him or turn him down and wait for the next male to come along and try and prove his worthyness of being a mate.
unless of course you live in muslim cultures where men have limited the rights of females so the men have the balance of power.
 
truffleshuffle

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
InvisaLady said:
Well, it goes without saying that when you are a gorgeous woman, the world is handed to you on a silver platter.
On the other hand us below average or in other words unattractive, don't get squat for messages.
Honestly I would be happy to receive only one good message a month. But that's not what I get. I get 5 spam type per month.
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your not saying your unattractive?
I have seen your picture Invisa You are not below average or unattractive at all.
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
truffleshuffle said:
your not saying your unattractive?
I have seen your picture Invisa You are not below average or unattractive at all.
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When compared to the size 12 and under's with their cleavage and nice legs and butts huge eyes , high cheek bones, full lips, yeah I don't rate against that.
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
When the attractive, (by men's standards) get an average of 30 messages per week and I can't even get 1, it's a pretty clear statement.
 
truffleshuffle

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
InvisaLady said:
When the attractive, (by men's standards) get an average of 30 messages per week and I can't even get 1, it's a pretty clear statement.
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Its just a statement that there idiots. I think its sociatys fault. They try and brain wash everyone that you have to be a modle or something to be considerd attractive.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
InvisaLady said:
When compared to the size 12 and under's with their cleavage and nice legs and butts huge eyes , high cheek bones, full lips, yeah I don't rate against that.
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I think you're an attractive lady, but I understand your frustrations, and I get them when I see guys with ripped abs and muscles who surf and whatever. I can't compete with that, either.
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
Emerald_ said:
If you don't like it, don't participate. If you do, be proactive and message women you're interested in, instead of being resentful that you're not being 'chased'.
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Thank you!!! :)

Emerald_ said:
What a charmer! You are coming across as quite bitter and hostile about it all, maybe it's not your gender affecting the amount of messages you get...

Good luck with it.
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Again, thank you!!! I think you hit the nail on the head!

Sorry Ocean Mist, but you bring this on yourself. If you can't take it, then don't dish it!
 
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Falkor

Falkor

1
What happens, happens..

It's a fact that women might get more messages, and you have a smaller amount to pick from, but what if that one lady is there for you, only one message is needed...

So just accept it.... ::p: I can see that you are pissed off about it.. but you can't change it right? So you gotta face it. :)

And no offense here, but you should work to get less defensive, i used to be a bit like you, attack ppl back, don't. you don't make friends with it. if ppl say something that you don't like, just tell them you don't like it, and don't be defensive because you will only make things worse. Btw, i'm trying to help ya here ::eek::

Good luck, and i think if you keep trying you'll find someone :)
 
A

Agent_Violet

Well-known member
I often wonder if men don't get as many messages because women are typically taught to let the man pursue her.Also,don't forget how many women use dating sites to get their ego boosted.The more they sit back and receive dozens of emails,the better they feel about themselves.

As a woman,I've been told it's a turn off when the female pursues the male.That the female is then viewed as less valuable or maybe even "easy" if she's the one going after the man she wants.
It's tough being a woman in the dating world just as it's tough being a man in the dating world.Neither sex has it easy.
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Agent_Violet said:
As a woman,I've been told it's a turn off when the female pursues the male.That the female is then viewed as less valuable or maybe even "easy" if she's the one going after the man she wants.
It's tough being a woman in the dating world just as it's tough being a man in the dating world.Neither sex has it easy.
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Yeah, nobody seems to mention that here. Only complaints about not being approached.

And to some of you guys, and please don't get offended, I mean no offense... you need to change your attitude a little. You treat girls as if they were animals or groceries, you keep calling them all bitches. When one of them finally approaches you because she wants to be your friend, she thinks you're cool, you treat her as if she's some sort of sack of meat, you treat her like a lesser being. I've seen and experienced this MANY times, and honestly, if you are going to behave this way, then don't expect many girls to like you.

Again, this isn't for all of you, I'm very aware that not all guys are like this. (Almost all of my friends are guys, actually... and they're the sweetest people)
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Hellhound said:
And to some of you guys, and please don't get offended, I mean no offense... you need to change your attitude a little. You treat girls as if they were animals or groceries, you keep calling them all bitches. When one of them finally approaches you because she wants to be your friend, she thinks you're cool, you treat her as if she's some sort of sack of meat, you treat her like a lesser being. I've seen and experienced this MANY times, and honestly, if you are going to behave this way, then don't expect many girls to like you.

Again, this isn't for all of you, I'm very aware that not all guys are like this. (Almost all of my friends are guys, actually... and they're the sweetest people)
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Amen to this. I've met a lot of "alpha" guys and it's not a good look.
 
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