I can't help myself but wonder

Hellhound

Super Moderator
Oh, do I feel your pain. It seems to me that a lot of men complain the ladies never contact them first, but get put off if she is the one to make first contact.:kickingmyself:

Sounds like a manipulation/guilt game or something. Same thing as when some dudes treat girls like crap and later whine about how no lady approaches them.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
QUOTEA1621;662829Okay, I realize I'm a little late to this party but, just wanted to drop my 2 cents.

I was on POF for about 2-3 months before calling it quits for my own reasons. I had talked to a few people on there .. met up with one of them a couple times. But overall, it wasn't such a great experience. I decided to drop some $ and get the upgraded membership where you can see when a message is read, deleted, etc. I can't tell you how many times I would look at my sent messages to see, "unread/deleted." And it sure pissed me off! I mean, it seemed like all I read from girl's profile was, "Please, actually READ the profile, don't just look at the pics!" Personal note: I ALWAYS read every single word .. because I was looking for the, "total package" so to speak. :p Anyway, they would also complain a lot about guys sending emails like, "Hey, what's up?" or, "Damn, you're hot!" When I sent an email, I would often first go through many, MANY profiles before actually finding someone I was really interested in talking to. Then I would read the profile again, paying closer attention. Only then would I write an email and it was always personalized. I wrote to each girl as an individual, never any of this carbon copy stuff, just change the name. To go to that effort and get, "unread/deleted" .. man after a while I'll tell you .. it gets damned frustrating.



Omg, I totally know what you are talking about. You go through all that effort to think of something nice and interesting to say to them and then the overwhelming majority of messages just get unread or deleted if the woman is one you actually want to get with.

Been there a many times, let me tell ya.

But when I saw it from the girl's perspective, I gained a LITTLE better understanding. 30 messages a month? That's nothing .. 30 a DAY maybe.

Haha, it's usually not that much for women. Maybe if she's very attractive that could be possible. I heard about the hottest woman on there that is from my city, she had 22 pages of messages and had to start telling people to stop messaging her, lol.

Most women on there aren't getting 30 a day though.


Anyway, the thing about POF is you gotta have a stellar profile as well as great emails. Some will read your email but if it's too much like everyone else's, it reads like background noise and gets tossed. Some will see you sent a message and just look at your profile and if they don't like, they delete the email without even reading it. The key, I think is being different .. something out of the ordinary that grabs their attention. A sense of mystery that draws someone to want to know more. I've seen it work.

And I just lost my train of thought so, guess I'll stop here. :p


I was actually going to discuss this part in another thread.

The most important things for men are your picture and how much money you make.

If a guy is good looking and rich on there he can just say hey whats up and his response rate will pretty darn high.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Oh, do I feel your pain. It seems to me that a lot of men complain the ladies never contact them first, but get put off if she is the one to make first contact.:kickingmyself:

I obviously have no problem with women contacting me first. That would be weird if I did, considering this thread has something to do with complaining about women not messaging men, haha.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
What happens, happens..

It's a fact that women might get more messages, and you have a smaller amount to pick from, but what if that one lady is there for you, only one message is needed...

So just accept it.... ::p: I can see that you are pissed off about it.. but you can't change it right? So you gotta face it. :)

And no offense here, but you should work to get less defensive, i used to be a bit like you, attack ppl back, don't. you don't make friends with it. if ppl say something that you don't like, just tell them you don't like it, and don't be defensive because you will only make things worse. Btw, i'm trying to help ya here ::eek::

Good luck, and i think if you keep trying you'll find someone :)

Wait a second here, who am I attacking? All I'm doing is complaining about attractive women getting hundreds of messages without having to initiate messages to anyone.

It's not like I'm personally attacking anyone like I have been personally attacked in this thread with people implying I'm a jerk.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Yeah, that last sentence on your about me has to go.

Guys, if you are angry at women, it shows, and it is not an attractive quality. I understand it is frustrating, but if it gets to that point, perhaps a break from online dating would be good.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Women can't read minds.

These women that don't talk to us don't want to talk to us because of more superficial reasons such as we don't make enough money or aren't socially confident enough for them.

If anything, being angry at women can help a guy because he can come off as a bad boy. As long as a guy talks enough, he can get as many women as he wants. Something I've noticed is that jerks that hate women have a very high success rate with women.

I guarantee you the reason Roman Legion was having a little trouble wasn't because he's angry at women. Women don't have superpowers where they can just look at a guy and say "he hates women." Sorry, but these women aren't that good.
 
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Wait a second here, who am I attacking? All I'm doing is complaining about attractive women getting hundreds of messages without having to initiate messages to anyone.

It's not like I'm personally attacking anyone like I have been personally attacked in this thread with people implying I'm a jerk.

I'm not saying your a jerk, i'm just giving advice :giggle:m

and about the topic, it's good that you share it here. It's just that ppl try to give ya advice. If ya know what I mean :) ^_^
 
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