Do you still want to have children?

[WeirdyMcGee]

I know plenty of people who don't want to have children and that's totally fine and I do agree-- it's a scary world to raise children in; and generally teenagers may not be the way you remember being as a teenager-- I personally don't understand most teenagers but there's always a chance that I could do things differently and raise a child who is polite and not self-absorbed?

I would really like to adopt/foster children and teenagers as well.
Alot of teens don't have a parental figure at all; or their parent has just given up on them and tossed them out the door far too young for them to be on their own.
I'd like to help them one day.

I think that one of the only things I may be any good at in life-- is taking care of children.
I did it for my kid brother, my step-siblings and I'll be doing it for my sister's daughter when she is born in September.

I may never physically be able to have any of my own, even if one day, I decided I really wanted one-- but there will always be children who need a parent who is patient and who really cares about them.

(seriously though-- some people need to just stop making so many babies... but that's a whole other issue.)

 

[coyote]

nine years since i had the vasectomy

the operation has thus far been successful

 

[Section_31]

ehh.....

some days i want them. most often then not i dont.....

My wife wants them someday, but shes on the maybe fence about it.

Her parents are laying on the pressure thick.....I just shake my head and say "sorry, no kids, old airsoft injury".

That usually ends the conversation.,

 

[GhastlyCC]

nine years since i had the vasectomy

the operation has thus far been successful

heh,
I don't have a girlfriend.
And can't see myself being with anybody anytime soon.
But I actually want to have that done.::

 

[nightcrawler]

Nope...don't want any. Have given this some considerable thought in the last few years as I'm now 40, and the more I think about it the more I DON'T want kids. There are sooooooo many reasons why not, but yes my SA is a big part of it. It's that I don't like kids - just don't want any of my own. Unfortunately I've found out through various dating sites that most women (I'd say 8 or 9 out of 10) DO want kids, so this really limits my potential dates. It's either find a woman that doesn't want any, or someone who has had kids who have now left home.

 

[coyote]

....someone who has had kids who have now left home.

at our age, that's fairly common.

 

[Aletheia]

seven billion and counting

(seriously though-- some people need to just stop making so many babies... but that's a whole other issue.)

Yeah no kidding.

One thing I was struck by in that story of the Coca-Cola woman was their irresponsibility in having eight children on a straitened budget. Or eight children at all. In an ecology as overloaded as ours is becoming, nobody's genes are that special.

 

[coyote]

Re: seven billion and counting

Yeah no kidding.

One thing I was struck by in that story of the Coca-Cola woman was their irresponsibility in having eight children on a straitened budget. Or eight children at all. In an ecology as overloaded as ours is becoming, nobody's genes are that special.

maybe she thought Coca-Cola was a contraceptive

 

[MikeyC]

Re: seven billion and counting

maybe she thought Coca-Cola was a contraceptive

In the end, it was.

 

[hidwell]

I wouldn't want to inflict my genes on to anyone else, pity my father didn't think the same.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I might be in the minority even on this sometimes pessimistic site, but I don't want to have kids anymore. Yes, they're cute and just like to play, which is fun. I've enjoyed my nieces, and they me, but when they hit puberty they became aloof and self-absorbed.

This is something you can't say to your parents, but I fight resentment of the fact that I exist, even though I never particularly wanted to and wouldn't have signed-up for it in retrospect. I feel that if I had children, I'd be forcing them into something that I don't like being forced into myself. And the pros and cons of having kids seem stacked against it being worthwhile. Not enough jobs for willing workers, too much crime, increasing pollution, scarcer resources, the probability of the kids rebelling, going sideways, not finding contentment. On and on. Life seems to be getting more and more challenging.

I fear I'd hit the non-existence button if given the choice. Yeah, there'd be no more chance to experience positives in life, but there'd be no more negatives either. So it seems almost hypocritical of me to have kids. (Yes, in the rare times I'm dating, I'm honest with them about it if the issue comes up. I can tell by the looks on their faces that they don't feel the same way I do.)

I've got friends who privately admit to me they wish they'd never had kids. Too much stress, frustration, and heartache. Far from what they'd hoped for. I've read advice columns with similar admissions from parents. Yes, for others it's been a joy. I get that. I'm not really a people person in general, though. I'm so-so even on my family, which I get along with all right. I just want to be alone most of the time.

You can always volunteer at schools, daycare, and enjoy your nephews, nieces, neighbors, etc to get your fix. The great thing with that is, they don't follow you home. LOL But it also seems that, particularly with women, it seems innate to want to reproduce (sorry if that sounds too clinical).

There's adoption as an option, too. For others, that is. I've soured even on that, and I feel a little guilty about that.

And some have children to get love or have company. Woah. Terrible reason for having them.

Your thoughts?

Thank God I found this Post! I'm only 15 and I already made up my mind that i don't want children ever. They aren't meant for everyone and actually some people who don't have them are happy. It would be bad to bring a child into this world where the parents neglect it and don't care for it. I can't believe people who think people who don't want children are selfish! So that they can overpopulate this planet. And even when I told my parents and even my sister about this they said the same old "oh you'll change your mind" "Oh I said the same thing when I was you age" yada yada yada. Maybe I'd be more fine raising dogs and cats than to put up with babies, just saying. You do whatever makes you happy and follow your own path.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I would feel guilty if I ever brought another life into this world. It's not fair on them. Plus I'm not mentally fit be a mother, so If I ever did get pregnant I would probably put the child up for adoption.

 

[Silatuyok]

Heck no.
1. I don't like being around children.
2. I would be a horrible mother.
3. Neither I nor my partner want to bring anymore people into an overcrowded world that frankly isn't all that great to begin with.
4. Children are expensive.

That being said, I'm sure we would be terrific parents if it ever accidentally came to be so. :: And, I am not completely opposed to the idea of adopting sometime later in life if I feel the need.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I'm only 22 years old and I lost quite a few friends because they got married and had kids and now they only have time for their family,so yeah it will get worse as time pass.

Same here It's just don't get married just to get married. Make sure youre best friends with that person or it's not worth it unless you have noone else and you're desperate beyond measures....

 

[MikeyC]

2. I would be a horrible mother.
3. Neither I nor my partner want to bring anymore people into an overcrowded world that frankly isn't all that great to begin with.
4. Children are expensive.

These are big reasons why I don't want children (replace mother with father, though).

If I told my mum I didn't want kids she would freak, so that's something I need to keep to myself.

 

[silveraks13]

First up, my general opinion is your loins, your problem. Not wanting to have children is a perfectly valid decision. I also feel that there are a lot of people who would have done well to have considered such a decision more deeply (or at all, in some cases.) We're talking about creating human lives here and if that's not playing God, I don't know what is.

That said, I fully believe the choice between existing and not existing is a non-choice. Things may look bad now, but the world's been going to hell in a handbasket more or less since history started. And even if it is, it's not gonna get any better if the people who recognize that don't work to change it.

To answer the original question, I want children. There are few other ways to leave your indelible mark on history, and the parent/child relationship is a unique one. Of course I'm nowhere near ready for this, but hopefully it's in the cards.

I can't describe how much I love my baby girl!! When you say the relationship is unique, you are so right, there are no words to describe it! She has changed the world for me...you really do start to look at the world through her eyes and everything is just a little more beautiful.

I also appreciate your comment about making change in the world today. I couldn't agree more I've read through these posts and while I agree the world is a scary place, I don't think we have a right to decide that it isn't worth living in. Who knows my baby could change the world for the better!!

Thanks for your words

 

[silveraks13]

I'm actually having my first born child due in september. It's terrifying yet feels so right at the same time. I wrestled with the same kind of thoughts. Why would I put another through all the pain I went through? Too many problems in the world and thinking this world is not a good place to raise children anymore. Intellectually it probably is a stupid thing to do. But life is not intellectual. Life will go on regardless of what you think or do. It seems that the more I submit to nature, the happier I feel. The older you get, the more you have this need to give yourself completely to something. That something is most easily and completely filled by children in my opinion. For the last 10 years, I've been trying to figure out my life, figure out what I want to do with my life. But it felt so wrong, because it was all about me. Life for me gets more content and happier when I can give and share. Nature is taking me down that path..not my brain and I'm much happier for it.

Congratulations!!!!!!

 

[AGR]

I dont know yet,on one hand I am afraid he/she could turn out like me,on the other I think I could help them to turn out better than me and maybe better human beings,but how can you have children when you are alone,I guess the choice isnt up to me.

 

[coyote]

sometimes it just happens

whether you planned to or not

and then what do you do?

 

[this_portrait]

No, I don't want kids, for a variety of reasons.