Do you still want to have children?

kilojoule

kilojoule

1
I find that by wanting children, Im actually in the minority on this forum. Op should re-title 'Do you still not want children?'
 
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ohheybbyitscorixx

Well-known member
I only want to adopt children. I'm pretty sure I want between 5-7. I also want to be a foster parent. But I don't want to adopt babies. I want to adopt older children, because not only is it cheaper, but they need a permanent place and love. My only worry is that some of them may have severe metal issues (which is nothing I couldn't deal with) and the bonding between us would be strained. I am slightly worried, well...my children won't love me. I am also worried that some children have been raised to be hateful towards people of different races or sexuality, and that it may be very, very hard to change them. But a part of me still thinks that is why these children need permanent homes and love even MORE. I have grown up full of foster children around me, and often, their parents were at least emotionally abusive because they did not know how to handle someone who is a bit sensitive or depression, let alone more severe problems. And being that I was adopted by my legal father who hated me because I wasn't his own blood, I want to show children that blood doesn't matter. Luckily I have my sister, who is my half sister, but she is exactly like me personality wise. So I will have support at least from her and my future wife/husband. But, I refuse to raise children until I KNOW I will not put them through abuse or neglect because I can't take care of myself. I have a long, long way to go.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
razzle dazzle rose said:
This thread is interesting in that the major of people here don't want or have any children. Why is that?
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I would say it has to do with most of us having trouble connecting with others. Having a child requires practically a 24/7 life of trying to raise and connect with that little person(s), which could be overwhelming to many of us, especially people like me who don't like being around people 24/7.

It's a giant amount of responsibility that requires us to be there for that child every single day. I definitely see why many of the people on here agree with me on my thoughts of why I don't want a child.

I look at it this way, if I don't want to be there for friends every day, I'd be multiplying that "being there" by 10 if I had a kid. It seems pointless and I would be risking ruining the kid's life by not loving him/her enough.

I guess that sounds negative, but those are my thoughts right now, haha.
 
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China

China

Member
No children. Nope, nope, nope. No way, Gilbert! No way! I'm nervous enough without having an actual life in my hands!

Hell, I don't even want a pet... (Which sucks. Ever seen a lesbian who doesn't own cats? They don't exist.)
 
InvisaLady

InvisaLady

Well-known member
No way! I hate kids, never wanted them and nothing will ever make me want one of those noisy, expensive, smelly creatures. My aunt and uncle on my moms side are childless and are way happier than my parents. They have the freedom to go wherever and whenever they want to. I would be perfectly happy if I could just have a husband and just enjoy each others company.
 
psych

psych

Well-known member
No, I never wanted to have children. Plenty of other people have them. Why do I need to?

Odd thing though, seems damn near impossible to find someone that wants to be double income- no kids with me.
You'd think it'd be easier. Nothing is easy at my age.
I thought I scored with my ex, but then his sister had a baby, & he started looking at me funny. Going into things, he promised that he was all set without. pfffffft* :rolleyes:

Besides, what kind of mother would a hermit like me make, anyways?
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
montejocarlo said:
and i feel sorry for the children whose parents regret having them. repentace is the first step to a messed up parenthood. they might not blurt it out to their kids, but the fact that they want to undo them means they don't love their children enough. and it always shows.
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Well then I guess my mother doesn't love me enough (despite my always thinking she did), because she has expressed to me more than once that she regrets having children. She says that she loves all of us deeply and doesn't think we are "mistakes", but that if she could go back in time she would not have had children.

I had just accepted it whenever I heard it, that yes she loves us but I could understand the stress of it and fantasizing about a life without so many needy children. But now I'm wondering... Is that even possible? Isn't that a paradox? Can you love your children and at the same time wish you never had them?

I think you can. You can love your children because they are your children. But you can hate the strain it brings. My mother has six children, including me. Her "fault", yes, but still... it's a lot. And she's raising two little ones in her mid forties. I think she loves us now that we are here in the world, but wishes she'd been wiser.

I could be wrong. I don't know.
 
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MiMi82

Member
I vascillate between wanting children & not wanting them; however, being 30 and never having been in a relationship complicates things. The thought of being responsible for another human being terrifies and intrigues me, as does the thought that my child would turn out like me.
 
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Rodney

Well-known member
I enjoy playing with kids but I would never concieve a child. It's such a selfish act. I hope to adopt some less fortunate children with a partner in the future.
 
xDreamseller

xDreamseller

Well-known member
I never know how to act around kids that come into the shop I work in. I always feel scared in case come off as weird to them. I guess I would be a pretty good dad to a kid if I had one, although I'm far too selfish to have that responsibility.
 
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