Cynic
Well-known member
No, but they're all better than me.
I couldn't have put it better myself as faulty goods is all I am too.
girls... this is a question for you
- Thread starter NGP
- Start date
Your right mmmm... maybe i dont know the game that well maybe i am not the most logical when it comes to these type of things, but i am trying to learn. One thing i did learn from this post though. Women can very easily be fooled into thinking a guy has their best interests in mind, that he is sincere. They are amazing at fooling themselves. Sinar, how do you know the guy is sincere, because he is not so nice? Because he says how he feels? Did he risk his life for you? Because that is probably the only way you will know that he really loves you.
I will say it. Romance is a farce. Girls are looking for certain things, and boys are looking for certain things. To manipulate a boy is easier because his endgame is usually sex, unless he is looking to get married and have kids, in which case he is looking for someone with success and stability... and good looks.
But when it comes to women it can get more complicated. Some men know how to get a woman to love him and is good at the game. He is called a player. some men dont know how to play the game.
Do i think love is possible? yes Do i think real love is possible at first sight? no
I dont mean to be offensive, but when it comes to romance, women dont usually think logically, men dont either.
I agree i have a lot to learn, and i might be very wrong. but at least i admit it.
Please dont yell at me.
I will say it. Romance is a farce. Girls are looking for certain things, and boys are looking for certain things. To manipulate a boy is easier because his endgame is usually sex, unless he is looking to get married and have kids, in which case he is looking for someone with success and stability... and good looks.
But when it comes to women it can get more complicated. Some men know how to get a woman to love him and is good at the game. He is called a player. some men dont know how to play the game.
Do i think love is possible? yes Do i think real love is possible at first sight? no
I dont mean to be offensive, but when it comes to romance, women dont usually think logically, men dont either.
I agree i have a lot to learn, and i might be very wrong. but at least i admit it.
Please dont yell at me.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Well there was a time when I would have agreed with you, but reading the thoughts and opinions of people on here has really opened my eyes to where I was going wrong. It's all so much clearer now.
What I've learned.
1. Don't ask people questions. To quote an old British TV show: "Questions are a burden to others". Asking questions is simply being manipulative. If you really feel you must converse with other people, it's best to stick to simple statements. Or better still, monosyllabic grunts. After all, it's so easy for others to mistake something as simple as a question about the weather for a sexual advance.
2. Be nice to everyone, or don't be nice at all. Next time you're considering being nice to someone, ask yourself whether you'd behave that way towards them if they were a paedophile serial killer who'd just massacred everyone you've ever cared about. If the answer is no, then don't be one of those fake "nice people". No one appreciates that. Just treat them with the same contempt you reserve for everyone else.
3. If you're single, and happen to meet a member of the opposite sex that you find yourself attracted to, don't whatever you do be nice to them. Now I have to admit to being a bit dubious about this one at first, because with both my current and former girlfriends I've tended to be nice to them from the outset. I just have a natural tendency to be nice to people I like. I can't help it. I know it's a character flaw, but we're none of us perfect. But I see now that because I wanted something from them (to spend time with them, and maybe if we hit it off start seeing them on a more permanent basis) that my niceness was actually me being nasty and manipulative. Now that I realise what a faker I was being, I promise you I feely suitably ashamed of my behaviour, and should I find myself single in the future I shall treat any potential girlfriends with total indifference. Unless I really like them, in which case I might vandalise their car or poison their cat or something. Just so they're absolutely clear that there's no danger of me being nice. First impression really count, and it's so important to get off on the right foot.
So armed with this newfound knowledge on how to interact with people, I'm hopeful that 2011 will be the year I finally crack this social anxiety thing. If only I'd realised sooner that I was on totally the wrong track with this whole "being nice" gig, I could have had it beaten years ago. Still, you live and learn, don't you.
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
Having a hard time choosing here, since I personally would go for a guy who's good hearted and sweet, but has a good (considerably dark ) sense of humor, so that's basically a mixed selection of both parties from me :/
) sense of humor, so that's basically a mixed selection of both parties from me :/this is gonna sound crass & ridiculous. but the douche bag, woman-hating, a-hole is usually the type women go for. sorry to say, but girls are usually dumb. they have this idea in their heads that they can be the one to change the bad boy, make him into a fairy tale prince. hell, some chicks just wanna get laid.
if you wouldve asked me this 2 years ago, i wouldve said the complete opposite, i was a hopeless romantic. but the more ive experienced, the more i realized that thats not life. ive seen way to many girls fall for the dick who treats them like crap, instead of the guy that would jump in front of a train for them.
HOWEVER. this doesnt mean that you have to be that guy. in fact, when women "man-up", grow a pair & stop being so oblivious, they'll realize that the good guys are the ones that will actually treat them like a queen. because in reality, that's all the girls want. they're just too blind to see it. personally, there is NOTHING that pisses me off more than a player that thinks he can get me to do anything. heck to the no. i hate those charismatic player-types, the bad boy, who thinks he's the king of all creation. i think theres not enough good guys out there, guys that dont flirt with the waitress when youre on a date, guys that will NEVER, even if you had a gun to their head, will look at another girl when he's with his girl.
hey be the good guy. when the right girl comes along, she'll love you so much for that.
if you wouldve asked me this 2 years ago, i wouldve said the complete opposite, i was a hopeless romantic. but the more ive experienced, the more i realized that thats not life. ive seen way to many girls fall for the dick who treats them like crap, instead of the guy that would jump in front of a train for them.
HOWEVER. this doesnt mean that you have to be that guy. in fact, when women "man-up", grow a pair & stop being so oblivious, they'll realize that the good guys are the ones that will actually treat them like a queen. because in reality, that's all the girls want. they're just too blind to see it. personally, there is NOTHING that pisses me off more than a player that thinks he can get me to do anything. heck to the no. i hate those charismatic player-types, the bad boy, who thinks he's the king of all creation. i think theres not enough good guys out there, guys that dont flirt with the waitress when youre on a date, guys that will NEVER, even if you had a gun to their head, will look at another girl when he's with his girl.
hey be the good guy. when the right girl comes along, she'll love you so much for that.
I really would have preferred disagreement or clarification to a giant sarcastic post as a response. There are enough actually wacko and misguided beliefs going on around here, and enough misunderstandings.
Kiwong
Well-known member
That is post of the week.
The other alternative is a going to a mountain monastery, and rocking yourself back and forward in a foetal position for a few decades.
Kiwong
Well-known member
What I have learnt is that with sufferers of social anxiety the way other people respond negativley to their attempts to communicate can have a huge impact on that person's mental health. Ultimately this can lead to serious self esteem issues even suicidal thoughts.
There are people on this forum of both sexes who are struggling to be able to ever talk to people in real life, online or on the phone. They have no idea how to start or hold a conversation, and are full of an abject fear when they attempt to do so. They may appear fake, awkward and strange. All they want to do is get through a conversation with a fellow human being without fear, without stuffing up. They are taking huge steps just to fit in with the world of people.
And I should point out that the behaviour of those suffering social anxiety can be easily misundestood. Sufferers of mental illness are so often misunderstood, I've witnessed this personally. So before you bite someone's head off because they didn't talk to you in the way you deemed appropriate, stop to think for a second. You could be wrong and jumping to your own dysfunctional conclusions about them.
A little bit of kindness never hurts, neither does a bit of diplomacy, and with a sufferer of social anxiety, it could save their life.
There are people on this forum of both sexes who are struggling to be able to ever talk to people in real life, online or on the phone. They have no idea how to start or hold a conversation, and are full of an abject fear when they attempt to do so. They may appear fake, awkward and strange. All they want to do is get through a conversation with a fellow human being without fear, without stuffing up. They are taking huge steps just to fit in with the world of people.
And I should point out that the behaviour of those suffering social anxiety can be easily misundestood. Sufferers of mental illness are so often misunderstood, I've witnessed this personally. So before you bite someone's head off because they didn't talk to you in the way you deemed appropriate, stop to think for a second. You could be wrong and jumping to your own dysfunctional conclusions about them.
A little bit of kindness never hurts, neither does a bit of diplomacy, and with a sufferer of social anxiety, it could save their life.
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Waybuloo
Well-known member
I'm sorry but I can't answer ur Q. What do you mean who is likely to get cheated on.. how can you make such sweeping generalisations? Between a 'sweet' boy and a charismatic douche, I'd go for the one i have a romantic attraction to, and that depends mainly on chemistry and social conditioning.
Seasons
Well-known member
OK, this is only nothing but my opinion...
If I like someone that person is automatically different for me, and I may be nice to everyone in general but I would do things for that person I like I wouldn't necessarily do for everyone else. And I don't think that makes me less of a good person and I also don't think it means I have no integrity.
As for not asking questions, this is personal, but I can not conceive a conversation made exclusively out of statements. Maybe it's me, I tried some in my head and they just don't work for me. I ask questions to people and if they feel upset or uncomfortable I will notice and simply drop it and leave them alone. And if that person felt being manipulated and forced into a conversation that certainly doesn't mean that it was my intention to do so. If I am interested in someone to the point of wanting to know them better, I will ask questions because it's my way, the other person is free to not want to answer.
If I like someone that person is automatically different for me, and I may be nice to everyone in general but I would do things for that person I like I wouldn't necessarily do for everyone else. And I don't think that makes me less of a good person and I also don't think it means I have no integrity.
As for not asking questions, this is personal, but I can not conceive a conversation made exclusively out of statements. Maybe it's me, I tried some in my head and they just don't work for me. I ask questions to people and if they feel upset or uncomfortable I will notice and simply drop it and leave them alone. And if that person felt being manipulated and forced into a conversation that certainly doesn't mean that it was my intention to do so. If I am interested in someone to the point of wanting to know them better, I will ask questions because it's my way, the other person is free to not want to answer.
Your right mmmm... maybe i dont know the game that well maybe i am not the most logical when it comes to these type of things, but i am trying to learn. One thing i did learn from this post though. Women can very easily be fooled into thinking a guy has their best interests in mind, that he is sincere. They are amazing at fooling themselves. Sinar, how do you know the guy is sincere, because he is not so nice? Because he says how he feels? Did he risk his life for you? Because that is probably the only way you will know that he really loves you.
I will say it. Romance is a farce. Girls are looking for certain things, and boys are looking for certain things. To manipulate a boy is easier because his endgame is usually sex, unless he is looking to get married and have kids, in which case he is looking for someone with success and stability... and good looks.
But when it comes to women it can get more complicated. Some men know how to get a woman to love him and is good at the game. He is called a player. some men dont know how to play the game.
Do i think love is possible? yes Do i think real love is possible at first sight? no
I dont mean to be offensive, but when it comes to romance, women dont usually think logically, men dont either.
I agree i have a lot to learn, and i might be very wrong. but at least i admit it.
Please dont yell at me.
Kiwong
Well-known member
