Could it be that you (like most people) have been brainwashed through modern western media to think this way?I'll admit though, I usually dont like them in a sexual way. More like a friend. I'd hate to have kids with ANOTHER social phobic person lol. Don't want my kids to be as miserable as I am. Well, providing I have any, which I HIGHLY doubt!
I don't necesarrilly subscribe to fatalism, but the laws of attraction for males and females alike are down to animal instinct and out of the individual's control and for evolutionary reasons, women will be repelled by any male who appears anxious or nervous around them.Don't we have degrees of choice? Is everything mapped out already?
Tenderness is a quality in a female, but in a male it is neutral at best.I agree about survival of the fittest, but we all have gifts, many people with SA have a tenderness that is required and appreciated in a balanced society.
If you tell people to stop doing something, they are likely to do it all the more.people need to stop being so damn close minded about others. stop going for the assholes and jerks.
Most people are taken in with it.It's only the shallow idiots who are genuinely taken in with all that stuff.
Or both.no I think humans are just either dumb enough to buy into this shit or very very very ignorant.
So you think threatening him would make him feel better?I'm a woman. and if a guy would be nervous in front of me, i would be a good person and threat him right! And try to make him feel better!
And men aren't? I think that's another myth created through modern western media...Women are excellent at picking up subtleties.
Is that a typical American thing that people who are shy are regarded as creeps, rapists or murderers?That's what prevails, so that's what gets reflected back at you, and from there, it may well develop into resentment (ie. you're a creep).
Hmmm, I suspect a lot of people do know better, but make a conscious effort to dumb down so they fit in better.I don't think most people are shallow idiots, I think they own a thicker skin.
No, its very much the rule here in the UK too.Is that a typical American thing that people who are shy are regarded as creeps, rapists or murderers?
Is that a typical American thing that people who are shy are regarded as creeps, rapists or murderers?
Do women not know how to act when someone around them is nervous? Do they always have to reflect it back to you in some way and treat you differently?
I guess this is the case for me. I'm usually nervous around women, and end up being treated differently. They are distant, treat me like a creep, etc. And I try to make things more easy going. But it's like.. once they see my nervousness they are turned off immensely, or treat me like I'm probably attracted to them or something?
Well usually my nervousness comes from the fact that I'm always tired from insomnia (nothing I've tried works) and it makes my stomach tight, and I guess I'm always worried about wtf I'm going to do or say, that doesn't make me look stupid as a result of my tiredness.
when will people warm up to me? Or is nervousness like.. the plague. Why are downtrodden people always avoided in this society?
Hmm... To be honest I actually prefer nervous men...
They're a lot easier to understand and get to know (despite the obvious nervousness), unlike the men who put on a simple façade everytime they walk out the door. I've known both types, and I usually have a stronger friendship with someone who is just as socially challenged as me.
But... yeah.
I don't understand women either.
My feeling is that it's not so much that you're viewed as inferior due to your negativity, it's more that people tend to mimic each other and that energy is infectuous. If you're putting out a distinctly bad vibe, you'll drag other people down with you. So if you're sitting around like a giant wet blanket doing what miserable folks do (talking smack, looking depressed, maintaining bad posture etc) others are going to respond to that and replicate it to some degree.
Women are excellent at picking up subtleties. So even if you try to make things easy going, if they're responding to you in a bad way, they can see through your front and can detect the underlying nervousness. That's what prevails, so that's what gets reflected back at you, and from there, it may well develop into resentment (ie. you're a creep).
So I guess there's no other way around it other than to be naturally and genuinely confident. If I knew how to be that way, I'd tell you all about it.
My feeling is that it's not so much that you're viewed as inferior due to your negativity, it's more that people tend to mimic each other and that energy is infectuous. If you're putting out a distinctly bad vibe, you'll drag other people down with you. So if you're sitting around like a giant wet blanket doing what miserable folks do (talking smack, looking depressed, maintaining bad posture etc) others are going to respond to that and replicate it to some degree.
Women are excellent at picking up subtleties. So even if you try to make things easy going, if they're responding to you in a bad way, they can see through your front and can detect the underlying nervousness. That's what prevails, so that's what gets reflected back at you, and from there, it may well develop into resentment (ie. you're a creep).
So I guess there's no other way around it other than to be naturally and genuinely confident. If I knew how to be that way, I'd tell you all about it.
Thank you so much for clarifying this without making women out to be the rejection monsters.
Well, I am a woman, and I have to say if a man is acting nervous, then I too am nervous cause I wonder, why's he nervous? What's he up to? But if a woman would approach me all nervous like, I would still feel the same way. I don't know if you've engaged in conversation with them or what you've said, but, how do you know these woman don't suffer from some type of anxiety as well? I had a shy guy try to engage in conversation with me, but I had an anxiety attack, cause his nervous energy transferred to me, and got the hell outta there and felt bad afterwards.