Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-11-2017
theoutsider's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 697
Thanked 58 Times
theoutsider theoutsider is offline
Expert User
theoutsider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 697
Thanked 58 Times
Not including siblings, other relatives or spouses. I could otherwise say my brother is mine but can't think of anyone I would consider as a best friend. Likewise, I don't think anyone considers me as theirs. When I was in my 20's I had a group who I hung out with fairly regularly. Back then, I could have made the argument that I considered one of them my closest friend. We have all since went our separate ways and it's been years since I've attempted to keep in touch with any of them. I resist getting too close to new people due to my SA and knowing it will turn out badly. So, I really don't have a best friend. What about you?
theoutsider is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-11-2017
GraybeardGhost's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Down in the sewer where I belong
Posts: 3,446
Thanked 166 Times
GraybeardGhost GraybeardGhost is offline
Elite User
GraybeardGhost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Down in the sewer where I belong
Posts: 3,446
Thanked 166 Times
I've had a few best friends, mostly women, none permanent. They leave or forget. They die. A strictly transient species. Better than brothers, though. A brother will cut your throat without a second thought.
__________________
I could drown in this sorrow, were we not one and the same.

Gwell ceiniog na brawd.
GraybeardGhost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-11-2017
Megaten's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 936
Thanked 152 Times
Megaten Megaten is offline
Expert User
Megaten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 936
Thanked 152 Times
I have a best friend but I'm not his. Probably my fault though. But for the most part I have no one to talk to about the things I'm interested in. Things changed once everyone became adults...I don't like it but it's whatever I suppose.
Megaten is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-11-2017
BlueDays's Avatar
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Elite User
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In my secret hiding place.
Posts: 9,631
Thanked 263 Times
BlueDays BlueDays is offline
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Elite User
BlueDays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In my secret hiding place.
Posts: 9,631
Thanked 263 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by theoutsider View Post
......I resist getting too close to new people due to my SA and knowing it will turn out badly......
^ This is precisely why I have not had a best friend since 1993. Sadly my SA killed the last two best friends I had up until then.

I really, really miss having one.
BlueDays is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-11-2017
Graeme1988's Avatar
Hie ye hence from me heath!
Elite User
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8,213
Thanked 424 Times
Graeme1988 Graeme1988 is offline
Hie ye hence from me heath!
Elite User
Graeme1988's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8,213
Thanked 424 Times
Nope, haven't had a best friend since 2005 when I dropped outta secondary school. Another disabled lad who was a couple years younger than me, who looked up to me for some reason. Haven't see or spoke to him since then, either. Don't even know if he's still living in the same area as me anymore.

Sadly, I'm not close with my family for reasons I won't go into here.
Other than to say dysfunction breeds introversion. At least, that's the case with me.
Graeme1988 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-12-2017
Fey's Avatar
Fey Fey is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 45
Thanked 5 Times
Fey Fey is offline
Newbie User
Fey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 45
Thanked 5 Times
No. Making friends at my age is extremely difficult... I go out until I come home sore from work, volunteer work, classes, and still nothing. Nothing I can do about it.
Fey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-12-2017
theslowesthand's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,350
Thanked 339 Times
theslowesthand theslowesthand is offline
Elite User
theslowesthand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,350
Thanked 339 Times
Yes. But i only ring him on the phone every several months typically. I don't see him in person anymore. I should call him more often, but i usually are lacking for things to talk about (since i don't have a life, and he does), so i don't.
theslowesthand is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-12-2017
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 1993
Posts: 3,347
Thanked 386 Times
FountainandFairfax FountainandFairfax is offline
I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
Elite User
FountainandFairfax's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: 1993
Posts: 3,347
Thanked 386 Times
No, my dog passed away about a year and a half ago and she was my best friend.

I have a cousin I hang out with regularly, and a high school friend I see here and there, but due to my AVPD I don't invest much time in people. Even if I got my disorder under control, I doubt I'd be much of a social person, anyway.

I'm okay being alone, at least as far as other people go, but I may get another dog at some point.
__________________
Last of the V8 Introverts
FountainandFairfax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to FountainandFairfax For This Useful Post:
theoutsider (06-12-2017)
Old 06-12-2017
theoutsider's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 697
Thanked 58 Times
theoutsider theoutsider is offline
Expert User
theoutsider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 697
Thanked 58 Times
Quote:
Originally Posted by FountainandFairfax View Post
No, my dog passed away about a year and a half ago and she was my best friend.

I have a cousin I hang out with regularly, and a high school friend I see here and there, but due to my AVPD I don't invest much time in people. Even if I got my disorder under control, I doubt I'd be much of a social person, anyway.

I'm okay being alone, at least as far as other people go, but I may get another dog at some point.
Dogs are the best. The thing about getting another dog to replace a beloved dog who has passed away is the new dog has no idea he/she has the challenge of replacing your previous one. They will love you unconditionally and make you the center of their universe until you have no choice but to love them back the same. I highly recommend getting another.
theoutsider is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to theoutsider For This Useful Post:
BlueDays (06-13-2017), FountainandFairfax (06-13-2017), Miserum (06-12-2017)
Old 06-13-2017
Steiner's Avatar
Expert User
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: United States, TX
Posts: 664
Thanked 7 Times
Steiner Steiner is offline
Expert User
Steiner's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: United States, TX
Posts: 664
Thanked 7 Times
Not including spouses? No. I find friends take too much out of me because it ends up feeling too formal and like a business meeting no matter how much I get to know them.
__________________
May Cause Dizziness
Steiner is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-15-2017
Pacific_Loner's Avatar
Pirate from the North Pole
Elite User
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Here and there
Posts: 2,112
Thanked 106 Times
Pacific_Loner Pacific_Loner is offline
Pirate from the North Pole
Elite User
Pacific_Loner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Here and there
Posts: 2,112
Thanked 106 Times
I had one in high school, I had another one in college, then I made a new one a couple of years ago. But too much small talk at work made me the worst friend ever, I never answer the phone, I barely answer texts, I say things like "I miss you, we should do something next week end!", which I kind of mean, but then I never follow up with it because the need to be alone is too strong. So at this time, I think I can say I have no friend that remain.
__________________

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Krishnamurti
Pacific_Loner is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Pacific_Loner For This Useful Post:
Miserum (06-18-2017)
Old 06-15-2017
planemo's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,501
Thanked 31 Times
planemo planemo is offline
Elite User
planemo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,501
Thanked 31 Times
I think as a child I was very sensitive to the cold/dysfunctional environment I grew up in. I never felt a clear sense of approval from my parents, in fact, probably the opposite. So, I grew up believing people would see no worth in me, and would never want to get to know me. Bad experiences with bad people only cemented this self-concept over time.

I never intended to make friends in school and university, but people did in fact gravitate towards me, however I still could not convince myself that it was genuine. Over time, I chose to let them drift away, since I felt my trials and tribulations would only serve as a reason for them to leave, and I could not bear the further humiliation and pain of rejection.

At present, given the state of my life, I have no doubt that no one would see any reason whatsoever to be my friend, even in the slightest way.

So I don't bother to try. I suppose I'm the one with the problem and not people in general, but I'm just not willing or able to change.

Last edited by planemo; 06-15-2017 at 08:07 PM.
planemo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to planemo For This Useful Post:
Graeme1988 (06-16-2017)
Old 06-15-2017
Sinopia's Avatar
Sunday Girl
Intermediate User
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: I'm lost.
Posts: 160
Thanked 1 Time
Sinopia Sinopia is offline
Sunday Girl
Intermediate User
Sinopia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: I'm lost.
Posts: 160
Thanked 1 Time
No, I don't. I don't have friends since 2012.
__________________
Live your life as a work of art...
Sinopia is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017
Kiwong's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: falling for life wave after wave and never saying goodbye
Posts: 7,558
Thanked 346 Times
Kiwong Kiwong is offline
Elite User
Kiwong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: falling for life wave after wave and never saying goodbye
Posts: 7,558
Thanked 346 Times
Come on brother, I sadi during my run. I like the way when the world can only throw anger at me, I still encourage myself.
__________________
In my dreams nothing holds me down, there is only out and away. I wish I could die and be reborn as a bird. William Wharton Birdy
Kiwong is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Kiwong For This Useful Post:
FountainandFairfax (06-16-2017), theoutsider (06-19-2017)
Old 06-16-2017
F0AM's Avatar
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Madrid, Spain
Posts: 99
Thanked 28 Times
F0AM F0AM is offline
Newbie User
F0AM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Madrid, Spain
Posts: 99
Thanked 28 Times
I do have a best friend and a very good friend, and as much as i enjoy the time i spend with them, they drain me lol. I don't like having ppl around for long periods of time. I'm thankful though since they respect me and know about my SA.

Last edited by F0AM; 06-16-2017 at 03:15 AM.
F0AM is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to F0AM For This Useful Post:
FountainandFairfax (06-16-2017)
Old 06-18-2017
theslowesthand's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,350
Thanked 339 Times
theslowesthand theslowesthand is offline
Elite User
theslowesthand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,350
Thanked 339 Times
I don't think i'm "cut out" for friendships. I just feels too uncomfortable, too personal, too close. I seem to be okay with acquaintances (eg workmates). I'm not sure how i'd find a relationship, not sure at all, but i wouldn't be suprised if it was a tad "rocky".
__________________
I agree, fu-ck ye society!!!
theslowesthand is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to theslowesthand For This Useful Post:
FountainandFairfax (06-18-2017), theoutsider (06-19-2017)
Old 06-26-2017
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 344
Thanked 1 Time
Miami Miami is offline
Advanced User
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 344
Thanked 1 Time
I have one best friend due to the fact that he's my only friend... but he has many more friends so im not his best friend.
__________________
done waiting
Miami is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-27-2017
Psychedelicious's Avatar
Dreams of frosting...
Elite User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,176
Thanked 31 Times
Psychedelicious Psychedelicious is offline
Dreams of frosting...
Elite User
Psychedelicious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,176
Thanked 31 Times
I finally have a best friend, who I just met this year. It's been so long since I had someone I've been really close to. I'm finally making some friends, and I'm sure it's only going to be a very temporary thing, but I'll try to enjoy it while it lasts. It's going to crush me even harder this time when I'm stuck being all alone again.
Psychedelicious is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Psychedelicious For This Useful Post:
theoutsider (07-28-2017)
Old 07-28-2017
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Thanked 1 Time
blazerod blazerod is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 15
Thanked 1 Time
Yes. I have. Usually classmate or childhood friend.
blazerod is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-28-2017
hidwell's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,876
Thanked 23 Times
hidwell hidwell is offline
Elite User
hidwell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,876
Thanked 23 Times
At school I had friends, but the thing about friends is they let you down belittle you at times and ignore you for others. So I rejected friendship many many years ago, and yes it gets lonely but there ain't no reason a square peg will fit into a round hole.
__________________
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius
hidwell is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to hidwell For This Useful Post:
theoutsider (07-29-2017)
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
True friend and close friend Steelsoul Friendship & Love 1 07-12-2013 05:00 AM
what i would do for a friend davidburke Social Anxiety Forum 6 01-01-2013 06:33 AM
My Friend upupandaway Social Anxiety Forum 5 11-09-2012 03:10 AM
need a friend Jesushasomeoneforme Friendship & Love 1 07-06-2010 03:23 AM
have nothing to say when with my friend redpine17 Shyness Forum 16 11-14-2009 05:41 AM

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:29 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
 
Contact Us Privacy