thegunners21
Well-known member
Awesome song!!!
would you rather date a girl who..
- Thread starter MoniqueNS
- Start date
Awesome song!!!
A friend
Well-known member
This is a little off-topic, but has anyone noticed that when you want to have a girlfriend/wife, all of the girls ignore you and people try to get you to enjoy being single,
but when you decide that you're fine be single, all the girls flock to you and all of your friends and family try to encourage you to find a lover even though you stress that you want to be single for the rest of your life and you put all your willpower and energy into trying to prove your point?
but when you decide that you're fine be single, all the girls flock to you and all of your friends and family try to encourage you to find a lover even though you stress that you want to be single for the rest of your life and you put all your willpower and energy into trying to prove your point?
Bittersweet
Well-known member
Good observation.
So... it's okay to be single, as long as you still want a girl, just as long as you're not needy about it.
Is that how it goes?
So... it's okay to be single, as long as you still want a girl, just as long as you're not needy about it.
Is that how it goes?
kihira
1
Well, for everyone outraged by the answers - look at the original poster of the thread: she's obviously a very beautiful girl with apparently low self esteem, so maybe some of the answers can also be interpreted in this way (trying to comfort her I guess 
) There are also other very beautiful women/girls on this board with self esteem issues... so some of the answers may be pointed at them too...
On the other hand, let's look at this forum's demographics: I think most guys with sa/self esteem issues might be afraid of too confident women/people in general... (Associations: yelling, bossy, nagging, too opinionated, not allowing other people's opinions, not tolerant/open minded maybe?)
Someone with healthy confidence, that's another thing maybe.. It's important to distinguish healthy assertiveness and confidence from 'overly confident/narcissistic/bossy'... Sometimes these can overlap, people without confidence can be narcissistic or bossy or clingy or 'drama queens' too...
(And also behavior of the guy can cause some of that: if you annoy or ignore her on purpose, of course she may burst into 'drama queen' mode eventually... or if you flirt with waitresses too much or such..)
I've heard it from (some) guys that they prefer an 'average girl' who is 'enthusiastic' and 'up for things' (lol yes it was supposed to be some kind of dirty joke lol yikes) and that a beautiful girl who can't fry an egg doesn't really do it for them... so beauty and confidence aren't the only categories, most decidely!! Coyote and a few others have said it well!! Many other factors too!!
(and some depressed guys on this forum even said they'd prefer a nice mildly depressed girl from a too 'enthusiastic' one, so girls... there are many different preferences out there...)
And yup, 'beauty' is such a wide category, most people see it as 'attractive to them' and different people or looks and characteristics are differently attractive to different people!!
Some attractive people don't even believe in category of 'ugliness' as 'stand-alone immortal category' - just into different levels of attraction to individual people... 'Nobody is really ugly, people are just differently attractive to different people'.. isn't that easier to deal with than 'am I ugly/beautiful?' Like is the world 'black or white' hmm??
) There are also other very beautiful women/girls on this board with self esteem issues... so some of the answers may be pointed at them too...On the other hand, let's look at this forum's demographics: I think most guys with sa/self esteem issues might be afraid of too confident women/people in general... (Associations: yelling, bossy, nagging, too opinionated, not allowing other people's opinions, not tolerant/open minded maybe?)
Someone with healthy confidence, that's another thing maybe.. It's important to distinguish healthy assertiveness and confidence from 'overly confident/narcissistic/bossy'... Sometimes these can overlap, people without confidence can be narcissistic or bossy or clingy or 'drama queens' too...
(And also behavior of the guy can cause some of that: if you annoy or ignore her on purpose, of course she may burst into 'drama queen' mode eventually... or if you flirt with waitresses too much or such..)
I've heard it from (some) guys that they prefer an 'average girl' who is 'enthusiastic' and 'up for things' (lol yes it was supposed to be some kind of dirty joke lol yikes) and that a beautiful girl who can't fry an egg doesn't really do it for them... so beauty and confidence aren't the only categories, most decidely!! Coyote and a few others have said it well!! Many other factors too!!
(and some depressed guys on this forum even said they'd prefer a nice mildly depressed girl from a too 'enthusiastic' one, so girls... there are many different preferences out there...
)And yup, 'beauty' is such a wide category, most people see it as 'attractive to them' and different people or looks and characteristics are differently attractive to different people!!
Some attractive people don't even believe in category of 'ugliness' as 'stand-alone immortal category' - just into different levels of attraction to individual people... 'Nobody is really ugly, people are just differently attractive to different people'.. isn't that easier to deal with than 'am I ugly/beautiful?' Like is the world 'black or white' hmm??
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userremoved
Guest
I was scared to answer, I thought it was a trick question lmao. Like if I say yes I want the hot girl the response is "What?! You only care about looks you dog?!" and if I say I like the confident girl "So you're saying we're not good enough for you??".
B
Beatrice
Guest
I was scared to answer, I thought it was a trick question lmao. Like if I say yes I want the hot girl the response is "What?! You only care about looks you dog?!" and if I say I like the confident girl "So you're saying we're not good enough for you??".
Hehehehe, good point.
That sums up my first and second GFs
MoniqueNS
Banned
It wasn't supposed to be a superficial question. I thought the answers would show me that having confidence is more important than how I look. Because I have very little confidence and I'm trying to work on that. I'm insecure that all my issues will prevent me from being datable. I guess I was just looking for some insight into how people think. I didn't intend for it to be taken the way it has been to some people so I apologize. It wasn't supposed to be superficial. And I appreciate those who understand where I'm coming from!
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
If I'm not mistaken... a hot girl would = more competition (getting hit on, pre-existing crushes, etc.); especially if she has confidence issues. That could make her much more susceptible to cheating.
I have very low confidence and I realize that was a big hurdle for my ex and one of the main reasons he ultimately broke up with me. I never thought of cheating but I've heard plenty of stories about girls who hate themselves so they'll look for love from everyone even if they're in a relationship.
I'm just saying that a 'very attractive girl with self esteem issues' sounds much more dangerous to be in a relationship with-- than an average girl with CONFIDENCE!
Average doesn't mean unattractive at all and confidence is very attractive, is it not?
Maybe guys don't immediately think of these things but upon reading this question, I thought I should give my answer based on how I felt about it.
...even with being a straight girl...
-- so... is the question really about dating seriously; or about 'having fun with' this hypothetical girl?
Just sayin'
I have very low confidence and I realize that was a big hurdle for my ex and one of the main reasons he ultimately broke up with me. I never thought of cheating but I've heard plenty of stories about girls who hate themselves so they'll look for love from everyone even if they're in a relationship.
I'm just saying that a 'very attractive girl with self esteem issues' sounds much more dangerous to be in a relationship with-- than an average girl with CONFIDENCE!
Average doesn't mean unattractive at all and confidence is very attractive, is it not?
Maybe guys don't immediately think of these things but upon reading this question, I thought I should give my answer based on how I felt about it.
...even with being a straight girl...
-- so... is the question really about dating seriously; or about 'having fun with' this hypothetical girl?
Just sayin'