*Amy*
Well-known member
Where does bravery come into it?
I guess I meant non-shy and self-confident.
Would you date someone with SA?
- Thread starter NP88
- Start date
I guess I meant non-shy and self-confident.
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
Online.
I think we as an SA community can become extremely self-absorbed, lost in a pit of our own misery. It really helps to be with someone who can pull you back out of your bubble and remind you that IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!
I guess I still would date somebody who had SA, but I think then it would be like two crack heads living together and trying to quit...not good for recovery! Better to be with someone who challenges your condition and pushes you to be better - though it does help if they're somewhat understanding!
This was what I was trying to say earlier. Being with someone who has SA, well, it certainty doesn't make you more social. If it were just shyness or introversion (which is not a disorder) it would be fine. A lot here mentioned that only certain degrees of SA would be acceptable in a partner. And I wonder what is meant by that.
I would rather date someone with SA than someone who is very sociable and doesn't understand why I don't want to socialize. I've tried that before and it was a very frustrating situation for both of us.
Besides, I tend to be the jealous type, so dating someone who doesn't want to be around other people would probably suit me 99% of the time. ::
Besides, I tend to be the jealous type, so dating someone who doesn't want to be around other people would probably suit me 99% of the time. :
:I have in the past and I don't think it's a good idea.I can only speak for myself and my experiences but I agree with Littlemissteacherlady when she says it's bad for recovery. I found it was easier to justify avoiding certain situations when you have your 'partner in crime' not wanting to do it either.
Lunar Llama
Member
Personally, I think I would prefer to date someone who also has SP. Being with someone who intimately understands my irrational phobia and the anxiety I deal with on a daily basis would be a relief. It's frustrating and upsetting when I try to explain to family and friends why I'm having a panic attack at the prospect of going to that dinner party.
The only relationship I've been in was with someone considerably more comfortable in social situations than I am, and it ended atrociously. I know I shouldn't judge all extroverted people based on him, but it's a hard thing not to do.
Somebody mentioned that being with someone who also suffers SP could reinforce those negative habits. I can see that being a possibility, but I find when I have somebody with me that I know is on my side and I can count on not to abandon me in the middle of a social situation, will actually encourage me to be more social. If that person also had SP, I feel like we could support each other in social situations in ways that a person without SP couldn't.
The only relationship I've been in was with someone considerably more comfortable in social situations than I am, and it ended atrociously. I know I shouldn't judge all extroverted people based on him, but it's a hard thing not to do.
Somebody mentioned that being with someone who also suffers SP could reinforce those negative habits. I can see that being a possibility, but I find when I have somebody with me that I know is on my side and I can count on not to abandon me in the middle of a social situation, will actually encourage me to be more social. If that person also had SP, I feel like we could support each other in social situations in ways that a person without SP couldn't.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
it doesn't matter what the issue is with the person SA,BPD,depression,etc...if you like them and they show themselves to be capable of understanding and supporting you then they're worthy of a relationship with you. If you're able to understand and support them with their issues then you're worthy of being in a relationship with them as well.
A healthy relationship doesn't necessarily have to involve healthy people. It's about how you interact with each other...are you learning from each other? are you growing together? do you support each other? is there respect? trust? mutual admiration? fair compromises? willingness to let the other person help you improve your situation?
You can do all those things and still have SA and other problems.
A healthy relationship doesn't necessarily have to involve healthy people. It's about how you interact with each other...are you learning from each other? are you growing together? do you support each other? is there respect? trust? mutual admiration? fair compromises? willingness to let the other person help you improve your situation?
You can do all those things and still have SA and other problems.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
^what she said.
Very elequently put.
Very elequently put.
I love this answer.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
Whether they had SA or not wouldn't matter, as long as we connected.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I agree. It's connecting with someone that matters to me, whether they have SA or not, although I think the chances of me connecting with someone are greatly increased if they have some degree of SA or SA tendencies themselves.
Never!.......
Lostinthemusic
Well-known member
I would be absolutely willing to. But I would be worried about us being anxious of each other. If that was a stage that could be passed I think it would be great though...Assuming we got along in the first place of course.
TheRadicalAnxiousLefty
Well-known member
All else being equal, then probably, yes.
BlueDays
1
Yes, I would.
Then you would not have to explain yourself and your reactions in certain situations and have to put up with the other non-SA partner saying silly suggestions just because they have no idea what having SA feels like.
Of course it would have some down sides to it, but I think the benefits would far outweigh them.
Then you would not have to explain yourself and your reactions in certain situations and have to put up with the other non-SA partner saying silly suggestions just because they have no idea what having SA feels like.
Of course it would have some down sides to it, but I think the benefits would far outweigh them.
I don't believe SA is something you either have or don't have. Every person is a little socially anxious. I probably wouldnt date someone who is either very socially anxious or not anxious at all. For me it depends on how the person is handling it. Someone who is positive and doesn't let it lead her life is more attracktive to me than someone who is constantly negative and dwells in self pity. But people with social anxiety definitely have a few characteristics in common i look for in a woman.
pop-princess
Well-known member
I dunno. I have a feeling that it could be a bit hard dating someone with SA for me. I need someone who is a bit dominant and who can express feelings (something I have trouble with even to people I know very well).
Also I think i'm generally more attracted to outgoing people than to introvert ones. If someone is introvert I feel like that person doesn't like me.
Also I think i'm generally more attracted to outgoing people than to introvert ones. If someone is introvert I feel like that person doesn't like me.