Would you date someone way older/younger than you?

Falkor

Falkor

1
Yes, my girlfriend is 6 years older than me, she's 24. I'm 19. :) Love can challenge anything, she's wonderful <3
 
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SeniorRedrings

Banned
No I would not.I do not want an inexperienced puppy to train and bat it's nose with a roll up newspaper when it poops in all the wrong places...metaphorically speaking.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
So you would be ok with your 13 year old daughter dating a 20 something year old man and think there's nothing wrong with it?
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
when i was 14 i had an 18 yr old boyfriend. my mother was livid when she found out.

but we had tons of things in common. same music,same interests in art and other things.

when i was 17 i had an affair with my 36yr old boss. i loved him so much. as a 29 yr old looking back on that it makes me sick that a 36 yr old man was proclaiming love to a 17 yr old girl.
yeah i thought i was miss.maturity and miss.grownup bc i lived on my own and paid my own way...but now that i'm an adult i can see how it was so wrong. even my relationship with my husband can be considered really wrong. i mean,come on, 20 years?! but...when you're grown you know who you are and what you want and it doesn't change every few weeks or months like it does when you're a kid...then it's ok to take a chance on a larger age gap.
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
For me it would be okay if she was way older but maybe not too much, because probably we would want different things in life.

Younger, okay too, but not so much. I've met hundreds of people in their early teens and, not at all a minority but 100% of them, well, I wouldn't. I'm too tired to make a longer post, so I'll just say I'm with you, Tino XD

Plus we have to cosider our own age, I'm 20 and I can like easily someone 25 and not so easily 15, I could perfectly like someone 30 and never someone 10. Maybe when I'm 30 or 40 I could be interested in someone 10 years younger, which is impossible now lol

PS: good question Vamp, that man would find his race's horse head in his bed in the next morning I'd know it XD

13 and 20something is and child with an adult, bad thing.
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
it was wrong bc at the time, for all of my intelligence and maturity I didn't have the life experience to recognize when i was being used...he didn't love me for who i was. he loved me for how i made him feel about himself. he used me to boost his ego.
after gaining some experience and years...i would recognize this toxic type of person and cut him out of my life immediately.

as far as the age difference between my husband and me being considered wrong...well it's wrong depending on who you ask. many would say it's wrong bc when i'm 40 and in my prime, he'll be 60. many would say it's wrong bc i'll be a young widow or i'll be taking care of a sickly,old husband when im supposed to be enjoying my 40's and 50's with my partner. i haven't had anyone tell me it's morally wrong yet so i guess that's the bright side.;)
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
cesgrandsyeux said:
How old are you again? Like 25 or 30,right? By your age, I will probably have excelled to twice what you are now, if you were once a dumbass at school.
that has to be one of the rudest things you've posted here. having an ego the size of the grand canyon does not make you appear as mature as you would like everyone to view you. it makes you appear full of yourself and emotionally unattractive.
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ridicule

ridicule

Well-known member
Tino said:
You have to understand that the way you view yourself isn't unique. Many teenagers, mostly teenage girls, think they are more grown up and mature than they actually are, and yes they think they are the exception aswell. I bet every adult here can look back on their school days and identify girls that felt this way, or even teenagers that they know now.

I don't know if there are genuine exceptions out there, but I doubt it. How many adults here can claim to have had anywhere near their developed adult mind when they were in their early teens? I bet no one will put their hand up, in fact I bet most would claim be very different people. I also bet that YOU will be a very different person in 8 years or so, we all change a huge amount during those years, and I just don't think anyone can claim to be there already at age 13. It doesn't seem plausible. An adult that gets in a relationship with someone during these vulnerable years is being plain selfish.
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I have an equivalent analogy to that. How many people do you think would claim that they are smart or above average intelligent? Probably a fair amount. Of course, no one would want to think they're the opposite, that they're stupid. So does that mean that anyone who says they're above average intelligent can't be because stupid people also claim to be above average intelligent?
Also, of course people change over the course of their lives, but who's to say it's always progressive? You're under the assumption that people reach the best conclusions - in this case maturity - eventually. I've seen plenty of immature middle aged people who can't handle relationships, as well teens who are mature enough and often have long relationships over a decade. You can't white wash something like this because there are far too many factors besides anecdotal and brain scans.
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
I'm not mature myself and I'm not even sure how could maturity be defined, but I don't think that wanting to be mature and trying to do mature things with mature people makes you an adult, the same way that doing childish things doesn't make you a child.

Anyway, this is so boring... **** maturity, I'm going to search the dragon balls.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
ridicule said:
I have an equivalent analogy to that. How many people do you think would claim that they are smart or above average intelligent? Probably a fair amount. Of course, no one would want to think they're the opposite, that they're stupid. So does that mean that anyone who says they're above average intelligent can't be because stupid people also claim to be above average intelligent?
Also, of course people change over the course of their lives, but who's to say it's always progressive? You're under the assumption that people reach the best conclusions - in this case maturity - eventually. I've seen plenty of immature middle aged people who can't handle relationships, as well teens who are mature enough and often have long relationships over a decade. You can't white wash something like this because there are far too many factors besides anecdotal and brain scans.
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so, are you saying you would date a 13 year old girl simply because SHE thinks she is mature enough?
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
cesgrandsyeux said:
Why don't you think striving to be mature, and taking all those actions to become mature is.. going to make you more mature than you once were?
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It doesn't have to be the same with everyone, of course, but millions and millions of people try and everyone fails. I hope you have better luck than the rest of humanity.

I think that obsessions are never good, including the obsession of wanting to be mature. If you want to keep looking for maturity, perfect, but be careful because things can easily go wrong. Things are not what they seem.
 
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Vampayah88

Well-known member
cesgrandsyeux said:
haha,it wasn't meant in that way. I'm saying, those who are smart at school will be very intelligent later on in life. I'm not explicitly saying TINO is a dumbass, haha, I'm saying if you were very stupid at school, I'm pretty sure you're not going to be as smart as someone in adulthood who was very intelligent in school....unless you completely changed your perception and valued the academic side of school to the social side in a puff of smoke.
Jeeeez, can we please be calm.
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Nah, not necessarily. School is all about effort. Any idiot can follow the rules and get an a. You can be "stupid" at school yet know a lot of information that isn't taught in school and can get you far in the real world.
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Everybody is special so Im not going to tell you you're not special les grand yeux.

Its really heartbreaking to read what you've written. Especially your comments to Tino and Violet which I view to be agressive and un necessary.


I find some of your arguments extremely naive. You say you that you know older people who arent informed and cant state an opinion on a topic or cant form relationships as easily. You view this as a sign of immaturity wheras I see it as MATURITY because as you get older you do realise you dont know a fraction of what you did, things are not so black and white and you do take more time to consider your position on an issue. Same with relationships. You have had expwrience you are well aware of what youre getting into it takes more consideration.



Also I find it very immature and Im a bit upset on Violets behalf that you dismissed her so rudely. If somebody offers me their wisdom from having been in a similar situation and takes the time to reveal something personal to maybe help, I would say thank you. I would consider this information that is new before telling her 'Youre not the exception,I am'
 
kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Im not attacking you or your situation. It breaks my heart. Just like Violet in ten years youll look back I wonder what you'll think. Youll probably try help someone in life and be mocked youll remeber this and realise how hard it must be to share thing with somebody so closed minded. Thays all I have to say I genuinely wish you whats best for you
. If you ever need someone to talk to ill always be happy to listen....sorry phone wifi typos etc
 
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