Would you date someone way older/younger than you?

kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Em I just want to put this out there: I'm not sure if that religious comment earlier was aimed at me or not but I'm not Christian actually. I am fascinated by religions but I don't hold a personal belief in any. Im agnostic :)

The other thing, les grand yeux, what you said about some older people being incapable of having mature relationships (not quoting you haha Im on my phone it would take aaages also everybody I apologise for all my crazy typos and spelling Im working from my phone since sat Thank feck for androids....and nurses stations with secure plug sockets are there to ne abused heh) I think it's a lot harder for people to commit themselves to relationships as they get older. People often have unpleasant or upsetting experiences which tend to hold them back
from jumping into things. Certainly as I get older I feel relationships are getting harder. People now have baggage and hang ups that they bring from every romance theyve ever and generally have a lot more knowledge on how to really hurt each other. As you get older you realise you have a lot more to lose because you realise how much work it actuallly takes.

What you mentioned about 13 yr girl and older guy scenario
If you have to hide your age then you got three problems1) he doesnt know you, he only knows the side you present to him

2 You have deliberately witheld information already knowing what would happen if he did know

3 If he did know and thought 'oh what the hey? I love her madly', thats a whole issue that you
both will regret. Life isnt made up of lolita tales that go happy ever after or a fairytales and theres nothing romantic about that situation.


Its an unusual part of our culture, this concept of children, preteens, young teens feeling the need to behave as be adults. My best friend was one of them as I said but there were loads like her that I knew. No 13 yr old girl wants to be thought of as a young teen. As I said Im 26 but I think maybe the most fun I ever had in my life was being a totally immature 12 yr old. Jumping into hedges, wearin whatever crazy crap I wanted, pranking my mom and generally being quite happily oblivious of the world maturing around me. I was always very immature and naive but I wouldnt take bsck a minute......except that I did first smoke at 11, that I deeply regret. But most of the time I was shoving loads of leaves down my clothes so my mam couldnt take me home from my friends house too soon or dancing round like a funky chicken....I never said I was normal haha
 
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Beatrice

Guest
Interesting...... I'm following this. Honestly though, even if a seemingly more mature very young teenage girl (12, 13, 14, 15, whatever) WAS in a relationship with an older man (I'm just going to stick with the young girl older guy, though there's always young guy older woman but we seem to be talking about the former).... I can't see that working out.

It's just my opinion obviously, but think of all the differences that would soon be discovered once the relationship progresses. So even if it were allowed socially and legally........ Would that really work? I'm doubtful.

You could come back and say, "Well, what does it matter? That's their business." Yes, but I'm thinking wouldn't work out in the sense that it could end up being very damaging to the young girl, no matter how mature she thinks she is. She won't have the experience and understanding to know the ins and outs. She could be hurt easily.

This isn't a counter argument though. Just thoughts.

Also, continuing from what Jewel said: I don't understand the whole "children/young teens as adults" either. Sort of like.... pseudo-adults. There's plenty of time to be an adult later, why not enjoy your childhood? I'm talking about kids who want to act older though, because they are a little more mature. Obviously if the child is just far more intelligent than his or her peers they can't help not wanting to participate in the same activities and the like. Are there really any children/teens like that, though? Or is it an act based off a little above average intelligence? (I say that because most "intelligent" people ARE a little above average, even if they think they aren't. Highly intelligent people are rare, and obviously true geniuses even rarer. Sorry don't have stats though to back that up :p )
 
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coyote

coyote

Well-known member
i just got back from watching a middle school girl's volleyball game

anyone who thinks a girl that age is, in any way, mature enough to have an intimate relationship with a grown man is an idiot (or worse)

there, i said it
 
BiWinning

BiWinning

Well-known member
coyote said:
i just got back from watching a middle school girl's volleyball game

anyone who thinks a girl that age is, in any way, mature enough to have an intimate relationship with a grown man is an idiot (or worse)

there, i said it
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agreed.
Golly gee. Middle schoolers D:
Almost as bad as freshman.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
coyote said:
i just got back from watching a middle school girl's volleyball game

anyone who thinks a girl that age is, in any way, mature enough to have an intimate relationship with a grown man is an idiot (or worse)

there, i said it
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lol

This whole time I've been reading the posts on this thread I've been trying to picture a girl around the age we're talking about, with a guy in his mid to late 20's or older, and....... it's just not working for me. Societal conditioning, yeah sure, but so are many other things. I just don't know about that..... :/
 
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kilojoule

kilojoule

1
Beatrice said:
Obviously if the child is just far more intelligent than his or her peers they can't help not wanting to participate in the same activities and the like./
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If you don't want to go chase Pookah up a tree with me just say so! I can take it!
 
BiWinning

BiWinning

Well-known member
Beatrice said:
Nothing, it's what I put when I'm making an ill attempt at a joke that no one will probably get. It's hard to convey some humor online :/
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I've been thinking of a solution to that.
You see, new emotes.
Of your face, not yours particularly, but yours in as in the user.
It'd add the extra creepy touch we just aren't conveying well enough.
 
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userremoved

Guest
I know we're on this kick about robbing the cradle, but what about robbing the grave? Would anyone hook up with someone like 40 yrs their senior?
 
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AGR

Well-known member
Jewel said:
I have major issues with teenage girls going out with 20 something guys + especially young teenagers.
It seriously upsets me to hear about it.


I have no issues with age differences so long as everybody's over 18.


I'm 26 my best friend is three years younger than me. This is something very close to her heart. She was always the youngest in our group and she was always a lot more mature than others her age. From the age of 12 she started seeing older guys, first it was 16, then it was 18, then 19 then by the time she was 14, she was seeing some guy in his 20s. then some guy in his 30s And there was no talking to her. She was impossible.


I actually asked her looking back why didn't it work? what specifically was the problem? and how do you feel about it now? and this was her response word for word.

* I just get sick a little in my mouth. Yes I see it everywhere and it pisses me the $%^&* off when I see those smug *******s walking around with much younger girls I just want to punch the head off them.

*When I was 12, younger even, I felt much more mature than other people my age. It made sense to get out with somebody older with the same maturity, I had a serious chip on my shoulder and I felt insulted that anybody would even think of me like a 'normal' 12 year old. It was the worst insult anyone could have said, Nobody understood me....or so I was utterly convinced. Looking back I see two alarming things that had I been a bit more mature, I would have copped onto.

1) I may have been more mature than other 12 year olds but I was not at my own full maturity of an 18 or 19 year old version of myself. I look back and cringe. How could I not have realised that????!!! I've cried over it a thousand times. At 12 I was 12 and maybe older than other 12 year olds and I thought I had it all down. But I didn't. I didn't have a clue compared to what I know now. Yes I knew A LOT more than kids my age and I looked and sounded older but compared to how I am as an adult, I was about 5 in maturity in terms of my own development!

2) Those guys were* a lot more immature than I realised at the time. I now look at it and realise there was something wrong with them. They did not go out with me because I was mature. I fooled myself into thinking that it was my personality and our wonderful chemistry and ' age is just a number'. That's what they told me and it was a crock of ****. They went out with me because they could manipulate me. They could give me what I craved. I needed to feel older, I had a chip on my shoulder and they made me feel like a woman because they held me to a woman's standards. They made me feel good about myself and they supported my backwards beliefs about being older. They watched too much porn and they just thought I was pretty and had a great body. That's* what they were interested in.


*Now I have a son. he is three, in 9 years he will be where I was when I was going out with 19 year olds. IT TURNS MY STOMACH!!!

* I thought that each older guy I went with was 'different' I went out with some of them for years. They were not different. There was something wrong with them. THEY needed to go out with someone much younger and much more inexperienced to make them feeel bigger and better about themselves. There's a word for it.....p.....

* If I could go back in time I'd roar and scream at myself and try and tell myself just how much this is going to **** me for all realtionships I'll have in the future. However I can't do that. I was stubborn and arrogant and I thought I knew everything and anybody who tried to tell me that I was too young or I didn't understand or I was more immature than I realised or too young to be sexually active. I hated those people and they made me more determined to prove them wrong. Age is just a number bla bla. The more somebody tried to stop me, the more I rebelled, the more he and I stuck together. They probably even ensured it lasted longer than it would have by going against me. I would hear none of it, and I snook around so my parents wouldn't find out, my dad would have cut of his balls and hung them on the gate outside as a warning to other men.


* I might have been mature for 13 but I certainly did not have even a fraction of my 23 year old maturity that I have now. And now I'm 23 I DO realise that I don't have a fraction of maturity I'll have in my 40s and so forth. I'm perfectly happy with my age and my maturity now. Now it would be okay for me to go out with someone older because I am mature enough to know that I don't know everything and respect others and listen. Nobody was trying to ruin my relationships for the sake of trying to hurt me or take me down a few pegs. they were trying to save me from myself.


*There's nothing anyone probably could have done to stop me. If I could go back and talk to my 12/13/14 year old self I'd say ' Really? ' When your 19 would you even consider going out with a 12/13/14 year old?' And I know what the answer would have been 'NO!!!!'



Anyway her sceal went on for a bit. But that's the jist of it. She's now training to do counselling courses with this particular age group of young pre-teen s and teens.
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wow she has it right one of the few people I have ever seen,shame that she had to go through that before getting right,it would be rare guys wanting to have something serious by persuing girls of that age.

Tino said:
I don't buy this stuff about children passing for adults just because they do their best to act like them. I don't really care if the child thinks they are mature, whether they have political views, philosophical views, whatever, they're still a child. I had political views when I was 13, I thought I had everything sussed and could see all the strings, still just a kid though.
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Oh its the teens phase,I doubt a lot of people are that mature,they probably fit in the average if there was a way to measure,like everyone,I remember that phase,I was smarter than scientists,stronger than a powerlifter and could beat everybody up,just didnt want do it :D
 
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userremoved

Guest
The Lone Gunman said:
With me, an older woman's age doesnt matter. hey, if shes hot, shes hot ;)
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coyote said:
hot or not, i haven't yet met any 87 year old women who i wanted to date
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Aww c'mon guys. Isn't it whats on the inside that counts? Even though whats inside is mostly composed of dust and home made grape jam? Plus if you date a senior citizen you can role play and pretend you're some vampire that met them ages ago but you still looks young. Y'all dont think that would be fun???
 
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