Would you date someone way older/younger than you?

[BiWinning]

I guess because Christians tend to be old fashioned when it comes to a lot of things. Especially when it comes to relationships. When I used to be one, my church was adamantly against living with someone you weren't married to. Being engaged didnt count. I guess they were afraid you might be tempted to have sex before you make your vows.

Back before the world and me and physics had a chat, I wanted to be an anthropologist of religion and spent lots of time in different churches of different denominations...
and long story short...
at a church conference for Methodism, they voted on several suggestions that seemed incredibly liberal and modern.
So you can't judge a religion by a denomination.
Jesus Christ. I never thought I'd defend Christianity.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

So what is your view on pedo's?

There are two kinds of pedos.

There's a creepy pedo, which is an adult who is sexually attracted to children. That's pretty much universally a bad thing.

Then there's a legal pedo. A legal pedo is anyone over the age of 18 (or 16 in some states) who is sexually attracted to anyone under the age of 18 (or 16). The idea is that "children" under the age of 18 (or 16, people mature faster in some states, you see) can't make decisions for themselves, while anyone over the age of consent can (and is always faulted for it). Both 18 and 16 (or whatever your local age is) are arbitrary numbers that might as well have been chosen by dice-roll, since they have no medical or psychological basis or validity (typical of lawmakers and governments to ignore science and evidence in favor of a feel-good mentality).

Age is merely a number (literally the number of times the Earth has hurtled around the Sun since a person was born), maturity is not and cannot be quantified.

That's also why I don't have a 5, 10, or whatever year age limit on who I'd date. Then again, I don't really like the idea of dating, either.

 

[BiWinning]

Yeah and I did say up to, 'it doesn't apply to everyone.' Perhaps I wasn't clear, when I say everyone, I meant those with a faith.
Sorreeey.

Jeez, I said sorry? Haha, what is the world coming to. I'm too proud to apologise usually, but you seem nice, and I feel like being friendly tonight. So

Oh,and don't worry, it'll pass. Proud to be a bitch again,haha

Guess I have selective reading....I went back and checked so I'm sorry
Not to be a mean but aren't you 13? Didn't I read that somewhere?

That's good, pride gets in the way of life sometimes.
Don't let the neutral words of the webernet fool you, I'm horribly mean.
Sometimes I even cuss.
At people.
Rudely.
In my head.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

There are two kinds of pedos.

There's a creepy pedo, which is an adult who is sexually attracted to children. That's pretty much universally a bad thing.

Then there's a legal pedo. A legal pedo is anyone over the age of 18 (or 16 in some states) who is sexually attracted to anyone under the age of 18 (or 16). The idea is that "children" under the age of 18 (or 16, people mature faster in some states, you see) can't make decisions for themselves, while anyone over the age of consent can (and is always faulted for it). Both 18 and 16 (or whatever your local age is) are arbitrary numbers that might as well have been chosen by dice-roll, since they have no medical or psychological basis or validity (typical of lawmakers and governments to ignore science and evidence in favor of a feel-good mentality).

Age is merely a number (literally the number of times the Earth has hurtled around the Sun since a person was born), maturity is not and cannot be quantified.

That's also why I don't have a 5, 10, or whatever year age limit on who I'd date. Then again, I don't really like the idea of dating, either.

Actually there are three types of people who might be referred to in generic terms as a "pedo".

Pedophilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hebephilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ephebophilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Both 18 and 16 (or whatever your local age is) are arbitrary numbers that might as well have been chosen by dice-roll, since they have no medical or psychological basis or validity (typical of lawmakers and governments to ignore science and evidence in favor of a feel-good mentality).

Age is merely a number (literally the number of times the Earth has hurtled around the Sun since a person was born), maturity is not and cannot be quantified.

That's also why I don't have a 5, 10, or whatever year age limit on who I'd date. Then again, I don't really like the idea of dating, either.

18 and 16 may seem relatively arbitrary, but it's pretty safe to say that if a legal age of consent wasn't picked, bad things would result. A legal system can't be expected to account for every possible variable and assign a different age in each case--especially variables as difficult to objectively measure as emotional maturity. Would you really suggest there be no legal age of consent, or would you just pick a different number?

 

[BiWinning]

There are two kinds of pedos.

There's a creepy pedo, which is an adult who is sexually attracted to children. That's pretty much universally a bad thing.

Then there's a legal pedo. A legal pedo is anyone over the age of 18 (or 16 in some states) who is sexually attracted to anyone under the age of 18 (or 16). The idea is that "children" under the age of 18 (or 16, people mature faster in some states, you see) can't make decisions for themselves, while anyone over the age of consent can (and is always faulted for it). Both 18 and 16 (or whatever your local age is) are arbitrary numbers that might as well have been chosen by dice-roll, since they have no medical or psychological basis or validity (typical of lawmakers and governments to ignore science and evidence in favor of a feel-good mentality).

Age is merely a number (literally the number of times the Earth has hurtled around the Sun since a person was born), maturity is not and cannot be quantified.

That's also why I don't have a 5, 10, or whatever year age limit on who I'd date. Then again, I don't really like the idea of dating, either.

I think I said earlier on here I don't make a difference on age I just normally don't associate intimately with 10 year olds or 30 year olds. Or something like that..I dunno.

But that was interesting, and I'm glad to know your views ^^
Why don't you like the idea of dating?

 

[Section_31]

I have no problem with age, and think it for the most part IS just a number, if both people are over 18. I have an aunt and uncle who are 20 yrs apart in age and have been married for well over 15 yrs.

There are certain cirumstances where things happen. I had a 16 yr old ask me out once years ago, before i met my wife. Now what got me is i tried to use age as a deterrent, but she had spoken to her parents about it beforehand, i knew this family over the years, and they had approved. So that was unexpected for me.

I thought about it, because i figured it was off limits, but at the end of the day for me it came down to i jsut wasnt compatible with her, and i could sense she wanted different things than me. So i didnt actually date her. Id still make the same decision today.

Would i ever date or be attracted to a 13 or 14 yr old?. god no. In this case, this chick was 10 days from turning 17, so it didnt feel QUITE as bad, but even then i just felt wierded out by the whole thing.

I'll gadly stick with women of age .

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

Being 21, way younger is a little out of the question : P.

And being a little dominant (not in a controling macho kind of way, I've just felt so out of control and victimized most of life that now I want to assume a different role in life) a much older women might not be the best choice.

But as with everything, it depends, if the woman is amazing then why not?

 

[BiWinning]

Indeed I am. Sup?

I used context clues and google but I can't figure out what that sup means?
Do you mean what's up?
Or do you mean a sip of liquid?
Or is this a I mean something completely obvious that you're missing and you should go crawl in a hole and die moment?

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I'm exestentialist but was dragged up through catholic schools taught by nuns and the church. Devout catholics are staunch on sex, age of consent and be virginal till marriage. This is not stereotyping, this is fact. However, todays youth in particular are not conformist to the church in general, which is due to the fast pace at which science has moved human kind along. Although I am not a religeous person I do agree with the laws that their rules created with respect to sex. Unfortunately the youth of today as well as a large proportion of adults do not respect the laws set down regarding sex, which I beleive is the unfortunate way civilisation is headed. The age of consent should be adhered too and those who don't (peadophiles and willing under age minors) should be punished accordingly.

I reiterate what I said earlier, age should be of no concern if the two people in question love each other and are within the realms of the law.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

18 and 16 may seem relatively arbitrary, but it's pretty safe to say that if a legal age of wasn't picked, bad things would result. A legal system can't be expected to account for every possible variable and assign a different age in each case--especially variables as difficult to objectively measure as emotional maturity. Would you really suggest there be no legal age of consent, or would you just pick a different number?

A legal system is just words on paper, not changes in the minds of the people. Making something illegal doesn't make it go away, not even a little bit, but it does tend to cause people to forget the real issue. The issue isn't that so many pedos are running around not in jail, it's that for some reason, some people are pedos to begin with. No law could ever fix the real issue, only perhaps medicine could fix that.

Instead, laws have created another issue where teenagers in love (their teenage version of love, at least) are being arrested and marked as sexual predators for their whole lives because one of them was under 18. Those cases of so called "pedophilia" are far more common than real pedophilia.

Those laws ruin more lives than they could ever hope to save, so I would definitely want to abolish them entirely. (Along with all other laws. I am an anarchist, you see)

 

[BiWinning]

Nooo,haha, don't put yourself down.
I mean like.....what's up with me being thirteen?

Oh nothing of course! Just curious, I have a thirteen year old sister and I'm trying to picture her saying half of the stuff you say XD

Yes, that is a compliment on your intelligence. Or at least your ability to form opinions.

 

[userremoved]

Yes, that is a compliment on your intelligence. Or at least your ability to form opinions.

I agree. I have a niece thats 13 and shes as dumb as a sack of rocks. I tried to explain to her the Pauli Exclusion Principle but she wasn't having it 8-|

 

[Section_31]

What about if you got to know a girl who looked older, acted older, and you fell in love with her...without knowing her actual age? Imagine it just never came up. You would deny this natural feeling because society's standards of what's 'normal'.
You know full well you're not a paedophile.You're in love with her...and she certainly doesn't look or act like a child,it's just her chronological age.
So what now? You'd just give it all up?

Hey Ces,

You have some very good points, and i cant argue with you. Ive always been a person who's heart does what it will without a care of what my mind thinks. Sure, id probably have feelings if this person you describe existed. But, that being said, fear of jail WOULD keep me from being with them. Id consider waiting for them i guess, if it was as strong as that, but really i just dont think i would. Even if her parents consented it would be really difficult for me to feel non-paranoid about it. I just dont think id be able to.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

I think I said earlier on here I don't make a difference on age I just normally don't associate intimately with 10 year olds or 30 year olds. Or something like that..I dunno.

But that was interesting, and I'm glad to know your views ^^
Why don't you like the idea of dating?

Dating inherently means you are interested in forming a relationship with someone. I'd rather let a relationship form more... naturally, I guess, out of friendship. Also, dating would basically require me to put myself in a social setting, which would make me very uncomfortable, and I'd be misrepresenting myself (a very bad foot to get a relationship started off on).

Pardon the crude explanation. I've only ever explained this reasoning to one person before. I'm sure it was a much better explanation, but that was my old girlfriend when she asked if we could have an open relationship (the beginning of the end for us), so I absolutely refuse to go read it again.

 

[userremoved]

To answer your question Tara, I would have a problem. Not mentioning the legal implications, I would feel like Im robbing the girl of her teen years if I was trying to tie her up in a relationship with me and Im so much older. What if shes not as serious as I am about it? Can I expect her to stay away from other boys at school while I wait for her to become legal? In other words I would feel all around selfish for even considering it after I found out.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

the what what? *tongue lolls out, eyes unfocussed*

The Pauli Exclusion Principle, the idea that no two identical fermions occupy the same quantum state at one time. You'll have to excuse my limited knowledge of quantum mechanics, but basically, if two totally identical particles occupy exactly the same position, they would effectively become one such particle, which would constitute a net loss of matter in the universe, which is logically impossible. More basically, it's what keeps matter from intersecting other matter.

 

[userremoved]

The Pauli Exclusion Principle, the idea that no two identical fermions occupy the same quantum state at one time. You'll have to excuse my limited knowledge of quantum mechanics, but basically, if two totally identical particles occupy exactly the same position, they would effectively become one such particle, which would constitute a net loss of matter in the universe, which is logically impossible. More basically, it's what keeps matter from intersecting other matter.

I'm glad you explained that because it was taught in class today and I was lost lmao. Im not as smart as I make myself out to be.

You can skip all that bull****,teen years don't do you any good unless you're suffering. You become the best person you can be...usually, unless you become extremely repressed and angry...if you've suffered as a teen. And you really want to set her up for immature boys? Relationships that will be short lived? Rather than a real, stable love and (ultimately) friendship too? The best kind of relationship will be with someone,often, you've regarded as a friend first. Just my opinion,ennit.

I really dont know what to say about that honestly

 

[Pyrophosphate]

The best kind of relationship will be with someone,often, you've regarded as a friend first. Just my opinion,ennit.

As with many things you say, I agree.

 

[userremoved]

Uhmm,anything you like, it's a free country. I'm open to criticism as long as you're willing to be challenged too.

Well its nothing to do with criticism. I just get the feeling its more complicated than that. I've not seen a love that pure and time tested. Except maybe with my parents, or in the movies. And not once have I had a friendship turn into anything more than a friendship. My best childhood friend was a girl and yah I did develop feelings with her over time, but she was interested in dumb asses that liked to pull guns on her.