Will A Woman Ever Ask ME Out?
- Thread starter NVN
- Start date
It does happen sometimes. But she isn't likely to bust down your door and walk into your room to do so.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
....You don't have to call it a "date." Just say something simple such as "We should get coffee sometime. Here's my number." If she's interested she will call you. Not something like "Hey I like you, lets go on a date. Can I get your number?" I hate the word "date." :/
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Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
It can happen, but you need to do the groundwork first. You need to be able to sell yourself as an attractive person with great personality that the woman finds irresistible. Unlike men, woman are very choosy and you need to stand out from the crowd in order to gain a womans attention. There may be a time were you get one or two dates from woman that judge you just on looks and kindness, but you need to be skilled in the art of showing what a great person you are, when it comes to the date or you won't be going on another date otherwise.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Women are just as proud and afraid of rejection as men are. There are many reasons why a woman may not actively pursue a man.
In some cultures, at least where I'm from, it's considered inappropriate for women to ask men out or pay for dates. The reasoning behind this is the belief that women don't have to be active in finding a mate unless they are desperate or of low morals. It is only appropriate for them male to be the "hunter". Then we have the issue in which women's sexual needs aren't acknowledged. A woman who has a voracious sexual appetite, openly admits to her desire/need of sex, or pursues men is not considered a woman to be taken seriously. Not an "honest" woman to take home to your mother. Women have to play hard to get and wait to be courted if they want to be seen as "good, honest women". A "nice girl" doesn't want or need sex. She only needs love, affection and romance. This seems extreme to some people, but it's a reality in many cultures.
Then there's the problem of some men being intimidated by women who ask them out. It takes confidence and courage to face possible rejection, and some people are afraid of that confidence/courage.
In some cultures, at least where I'm from, it's considered inappropriate for women to ask men out or pay for dates. The reasoning behind this is the belief that women don't have to be active in finding a mate unless they are desperate or of low morals. It is only appropriate for them male to be the "hunter". Then we have the issue in which women's sexual needs aren't acknowledged. A woman who has a voracious sexual appetite, openly admits to her desire/need of sex, or pursues men is not considered a woman to be taken seriously. Not an "honest" woman to take home to your mother. Women have to play hard to get and wait to be courted if they want to be seen as "good, honest women". A "nice girl" doesn't want or need sex. She only needs love, affection and romance. This seems extreme to some people, but it's a reality in many cultures.
Then there's the problem of some men being intimidated by women who ask them out. It takes confidence and courage to face possible rejection, and some people are afraid of that confidence/courage.
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LonelyWonders
Well-known member
American women must be despised there.. Lol.. I find that idea kind of dead. It use to be a normal things in America too but women wanted equal rights and they still expect the same treatment? Nope. Can never get the best of both worlds. Sorry in advance if I offend somebody with this.
MichKat0
Member
Well... basically most girls would prefer a boy to ask her out so basically it would have to be you that would have to do that.
Nowadays (London in particular), girls tend to ask boys out and that is a fortunate thing that could ever happen in the relationship although it doesn't seem as right as asking a girl out yourself.
- M.
Nowadays (London in particular), girls tend to ask boys out and that is a fortunate thing that could ever happen in the relationship although it doesn't seem as right as asking a girl out yourself.
- M.
So, since you've never been asked out by a woman, this qualifies you as an expert on how to get asked out by women?
I agree, depending on how you qualify groundwork. It's certainly not going to happen if someone rarely leaves the house and doesn't say a word when they do. In any event simply waiting for some girl to ask you out is not what I would call a sound plan.
That's going a bit far I think. I had no clue and minimal social skills the first couple of times women asked me out, and I do not have the looks of a model. I'm a skinny dork who's into computer games and crap.
That sound about right, but: sometimes a woman's taste just can't be accounted for. They are indeed puzzling creatures at times.
I think I missed that. Link?
Yeah, only rarely does it seem one person actually ask the other out on a date. Accidental/organic getting togethers are much less stressful.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Well that might happen, but as Nathaniel says you need to get yourself out there. In our society it is the norm for guys to do that asking, so I think the odds of you getting a date this way are much less than if you did the asking, and you're probably going to want to meet quite a lot of women to maximise your chances. There are women out there who will ask a guy out if she's interested in him, but I think there are a lot more who would be uncomfortable in that role.
Anyway, good luck!
coyote
Well-known member
Growing up in the sixties and seventies, I assumed that the sexual revolution would put an end to the "man-must-make-the-first-move" rule.
Perhaps I read one too many letters in Penthouse Forum.
So, I've been waiting for a woman to ask me out for the last 36 years, and - regardless of how amazingly attractive, charming and well-endowed I am - it simply hasn't happened.
Or so I always thought....
Upon reflection it seems that, in fact, women often do make the first move.
But it is much more subtle than going up and hitting on a guy.
What often happens is this: a woman signals to a man that she wants him to approach her - that's the first move.
All the guy has to do is respond - simple.
(of course, as was mentioned earlier - you have to go out there and mix it up, or women will never notice you or send the signal in the first place)
Perhaps I read one too many letters in Penthouse Forum.
So, I've been waiting for a woman to ask me out for the last 36 years, and - regardless of how amazingly attractive, charming and well-endowed I am - it simply hasn't happened.
Or so I always thought....
Upon reflection it seems that, in fact, women often do make the first move.
But it is much more subtle than going up and hitting on a guy.
What often happens is this: a woman signals to a man that she wants him to approach her - that's the first move.
All the guy has to do is respond - simple.
(of course, as was mentioned earlier - you have to go out there and mix it up, or women will never notice you or send the signal in the first place)
From a strictly biological perspective, this is the plain fact of the matter. I can't be arsed to google the studies at the moment, but in our species it actually is the female who initiates mating in the majority of cases--by means of subtle and frequently unconscious social signals which many of us on the forum are too clueless to recognize, sadly.
A healthy male is presumably always ready to mate--it is the female that gives the green light to get things going.