why do girls play hard to get?

[punklove]

I think it's because guys play so many games that we feel like if we don't play games that the guy will get bored with us.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I think it's because guys play so many games that we feel like if we don't play games that the guy will get bored with us.

Confused. The only correct response I have is: what games?

Is staring death straight on without flinching only to be stirred back by a waitress asking 'what would you like to start with,' a game? Or I did I just zone out?

 

[Honda]

because they can't mate with everyone they see xP eventhough some still do lol, of course we can't generalize, by playing hard to get they test your persistence and determine if you're the right guy, they don't like hesitant guys and give up on the first challenge

I guess that is very true..

Aside from a girl having a hard past or anything that would let her push a guy away or make it hard is the following:
If 100s of guys are gonna approach a girl; heck, she might as well play hard unless that person plays along and turns out to be the one she finds suitable or appropriate for her... Im assuming he should be a confident, handsome, masculine, gentleman that is diplomatic, calm, smart, not-desperate type and capable of smartly letting her discover he's not like the rest of those other idiots walking up to her randomly.
I believe you ladies know better so correct me if i said it wrong. I assume most guys fail cuz they walk up to girls showing them too much desperation or neediness rather than taking it easy and going with the flow... I personally find it difficult to approach a random girl in public and open a random topic to get things moving; even if there is some topic or incident that could strike up im not sure how to confidently carry on... But I know I got alot of good things, aside from my bad part..

 

[lonelypothead]

"we pursue those things which retreat from us"

 

[Seasons]

I guess it depends on the girl. If she is shy, she will not play, she will indeed be hard to get. Even if she likes you, maybe she will not even know how to deal with that.
If she is not shy, she can either be interested or not. If she is not maybe she will still play those games because it feels good to have someone interested. If she is interested then maybe she will play those games to try to be sure of your feelings for her or even to buy time to understand better her own feelings.

 

[Danfalc]

I think it's because guys play so many games that we feel like if we don't play games that the guy will get bored with us.

This.

I really hate mind games but I think everyone plays games even if they don't realize it to a certain degree.Sometimes it is to make the other person jealous and for attention,other times it's because we don't wan't to be vulnerable so we style stuff out.I think it's only after couples have been together a while the games stop.As much as these games can suck,sometimes it's just to protect ourselves from being used or walked all over.

I'm sure some girls do play hard to get at times,maybe because they wan't to be sure that the guy is serious and isn't just going to move on to the next girl,I've also seen guys loose interest in girls as soon as they feel they have "pulled"..sort of now I have you I don't wan't you.

But I think people are quite evasive and manipulative in all social situations not just relationships,and not just females or males until trust is built up.As it can be unwise to be completely open and honest about your deepest feelings to someone you have only just met.

 

[Kiwong]

I'm not playing that game.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I'm not playing that game.

What game? Now I have you I don't want you?

All this game. Is it true? Out of playing field I remain. Will not understand.

If want to see confusion, I am, now, the definition of it.

con·fu·sion: The act of confusing or the state of being confused

 

[Danfalc]

All this game. Is it true? Out of playing field I remain. Will not understand.

I was just using examples in my message as maybe why some people do.But in general you can't make sweeping generalizations like "girls play hard to get" for one,it's kind of vague,and in reality each person is unique.So no I don't think it's true for everyone at all.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I was just using examples in my message as maybe why some people do.But in general you can't make sweeping generalizations like "girls play hard to get" for one,it's kind of vague,and in reality each person is unique.So no I don't think it's true for everyone at all.

Thanks for the clearing.
It comes down to black and white, then.
Some will and some will not. We are what we are.
Appearing not to make any easier - Life: a series of events and complications.

 

[Danfalc]

Thanks for the clearing.
It comes down to black and white, then.
Some will and some will not. We are what we are.
Appearing not to make any easier - Life: a series of events and complications.

Your welcome,this of course only my opinion.I'm not sure things are always black or white,sometimes they can be a blend of grey if that makes sense.Though I really like the rest of what you wrote, couldn't of put it better.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I don't necessarily think I'm hard to get. Whenever a guy flirts with me or confesses to me (which RARELY ever happens :b) I'm straight to the point. If I like them enough, I'll flirt back or agree on a date or whatnot. If I don't return a guy's feelings or I'm being extremely shy (like I usually am), I'll be nice about it and say something like "I really appreciate your feelings for me but I don't feel the same way." and then I'll ask if they want to just be friends and that's the end of it.

 

[Jamovik]

Even if it happens rarely, it has still happen at some point? That doesn't sound too bad?

Being friended sucks though, but that's life I guess...

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Even if it happens rarely, it has still happen at some point? That doesn't sound too bad?

Being friended sucks though, but that's life I guess...

Haha no, It's not bad at all ::
I mean, at least I'm "likable" by guys in a sense. I just wish I could be more appealing to guys but that won't happen for a while considering my SA has gotten progressively worse since the last time I was confessed to, which was about two years ago.

I know, I feel terrible whenever I ask a guy who likes me to just be friends. It's one of the most painful feelings in the world, but I can't lie to myself and force myself to like a guy just to make them happy.

 

[Danfalc]

I know, I feel terrible whenever I have to rub it in and ask a guy who likes me to just be friends but I can't lie to myself and make myself like a guy just to make them happy.

Aw that's kind of sweet,but it's hardly rubbing it in.I think most guys respect an honest answer so we know where we stand It can be rough sometimes but it's better for everyone in the long run,and sometimes you find you do actually form a nice lasting friendship.

I'm sure guys do find you attractive btw,But I think people with anxiety can sometimes be very guarded I know I am,and I think that can put people off or give them the vibe were not interested.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I'm sure guys do find you attractive btw,But I think people with anxiety can sometimes be very guarded I know I am,and I think that can put people off or give them the vibe were not interested.

I am very guarded. The vibe you say, defiantly there. Strange occurrence. Expression, not interested. Internal, is interested. How to combat?

Wait, it all seems to lead to and stem from rejection. That's all I have.

 

[Danfalc]

I am very guarded. The vibe you say, defiantly there. Strange occurrence. Expression, not interested. Internal, is interested. How to combat?

Wait, it all seems to lead to and stem from rejection. That's all I have.

It's something I'm working on myself,or just starting too.We do this in defensive behavior as a reaction to our anxiety.So when In a situation we might avoid eye contact,make very little conversation which is polite but to the point.It's all defensive In a way..us throwing a wall up around us.

I think to combat it,you would have to try and find some specific things you may do in situations,like do you avoid eye contact and the such.If you do maybe work on meeting eye contact a little bit when you go out in situations and see what reactions you get and how it makes you feel.

I tend to walk with my head down and wont meet eye contact..I guess just because I wish I was invisible half the time,but it's just another form of avoidance behavior.I have been working on not doing it and i do feel more comfortable in myself..which lets me not be as closed off to people.

 

[N0D]

In my opinion ladies that want me to jump through hoops to prove something can keep dreaming. I'm not a circus animal I don't jump through hoops. Making someone jump through hoops shows a lack of trust, relationships that start out with a lack of trust are doomed to fail.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

In my opinion ladies that want me to jump through hoops to prove something can keep dreaming. I'm not a circus animal I don't jump through hoops. Making someone jump through hoops shows a lack of trust, relationships that start out with a lack of trust are doomed to fail.

Very much agreed.

 

[N0D]

Very much agreed.

...not the response I was expecting. Then again I rarely ever get the responses from people that I am expecting. Well I'm glad you agree.