What should I do if she just wants to be friends?

gh1234

gh1234

Member
I'm 19 and I had a nice thing going on with this girl that's also 19. We just started to hang out and eventually we had sex twice. So then everything was going alright as we always talk on the phone every night since we aren't able to physically hang out that much because of classes and work. One night as we were talking she just asks if we're just friends. Then she continues to say that she can't see a relationship with me and should just stay friends. I was very disappointed and a little angry but it was her decision.
It's been a month now and we seem to talk on the phone and talk a lot but it just hurts me that this type of activity would not lead anywhere and also I can't "just" be her friend. I always think about her and I'm not really positive if I should just continue being her friend and "hoping" she would change her mind or should I just slowly start to ignore her and forget her completely.
 
79_89_99IneIneIne

79_89_99IneIneIne

Well-known member
When a girls says that she just wants to be friends she means it. If you try to take yourself out of the "friend zone" you will probably just make her mad. If you like being her friend and having any type of relationship with her than don't make a move. If she wants to make your relationship something more she will make a move.

Hope it works out for you.
 
striker

striker

Well-known member
>>every night since we aren't able to physically hang out that much because >>of classes and work. One night as we were talking she just asks if we're >>just friends.

dude.. she wants you make her happy (in other words, give her good sex)
If you are not going to do that she will look somewhere else. They may come up with a hundred ways of rationalizing this, but thats what it boils down to.

It could have been some other reason but in this case that's what it is missing. See when you have sex, her body releases hormones & other stuff to increase the bonding between the couple. If you are not sexing her regularly, then this will be missing.

Now having realized that, the way to get her back, is ignore what she says about being friends and treat her like she is a new girl and go about whatever you did to seduce her. (work on her emotions, make her jealous etc, non-creepy touching, being playful etc). Make sure you are not too needy while doing this.

Lastly, realize that she is not the only girl in the world and keep approaching other girls, otherwise you will end up putting her on a platter.
 
EasySkanking

EasySkanking

1
^ I agree.

God, I envy him so much :D

Anyway, yeah just be friends with her, or find someone else if you want something more :)
 
zav943

zav943

Well-known member
79_89_99IneIneIne said:
When a girls says that she just wants to be friends she means it. If you try to take yourself out of the "friend zone" you will probably just make her mad. If you like being her friend and having any type of relationship with her than don't make a move. If she wants to make your relationship something more she will make a move.

Hope it works out for you.
Click to expand...

What he said
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
be her freind , if you ignore her you wont like yourself very much , shes just being honest ... what do you want her to do lie lol ...... be her freind ;)
 
mrb

mrb

Well-known member
striker said:
>>every night since we aren't able to physically hang out that much because >>of classes and work. One night as we were talking she just asks if we're >>just friends.

dude.. she wants you make her happy (in other words, give her good sex)
If you are not going to do that she will look somewhere else. They may come up with a hundred ways of rationalizing this, but thats what it boils down to.

It could have been some other reason but in this case that's what it is missing. See when you have sex, her body releases hormones & other stuff to increase the bonding between the couple. If you are not sexing her regularly, then this will be missing.

Now having realized that, the way to get her back, is ignore what she says about being friends and treat her like she is a new girl and go about whatever you did to seduce her. (work on her emotions, make her jealous etc, non-creepy touching, being playful etc). Make sure you are not too needy while doing this.

Lastly, realize that she is not the only girl in the world and keep approaching other girls, otherwise you will end up putting her on a platter.
Click to expand...

i loved reading that .... dude :eek: your the man :D hahahahaha
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
Just because they've slept together, it doesn't mean this has anything to do with sex. Actually I highly doubt it does. In any case I think it's in your best interest to go along with just being friends. She's letting you know that in a perfect world she probably would be interested in something more, but that she has too many issues going on to be a good girlfriend to you. That means that even if you were able to convince her to become involved with you romantically, she would likely let you down in some way, so I think it's best to avoid that heartache by cutting it off at the pass now. Try and see it as her actually doing you a favour.

Of course there are some women who give in to persistence but I think that's just taking advantage of weakness. Set your sights on a new girl and keep it moving. I guarantee she'll think of you more if she sees you with another woman than if you're calling her every night or trying to worm your way into her bedroom each time you've had a little too much to drink.

Incidentally, you're lucky. Most women who get close to me only want a relationship or nothing, and that feels horribly limited. It's a good thing to have a girl in your life who takes things easy.
 
Last edited:
R

Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
mrb said:
Originally Posted by striker
Lastly, realize that she is not the only girl in the world and keep approaching other girls, otherwise you will end up putting her on a platter.
Click to expand...
i loved reading that .... dude :eek: your the man :D hahahahaha
Click to expand...

I just hope he meant putting her on a pedestal. Putting her on platter sounds ever so slightly serial killer-ish. ;)
 
S

sevenroses

Well-known member
Actually it's shouldn't be too too bad bro. Frankly I'd rather just be very close friends with a girl and live apart from one another rather than feeling suffocated, trapped, and pressurized in an serious relationship.
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
I was in the same situation. Slept with her, no sex, then things were weird and we never got physically close again. If you let her know she's the only girl in your life, that can ruin things...also in my case, she has a kid, which pretty much makes things impossible lol.
 
D

da_illest101

Well-known member
try to find someone else, remain her friend but try to distance yourself from her, i'm starting to have this problem with my best friend and i get upset easily when she would say something that would make me have no chance with her since she already has one.

This how she feels unfortunately all you can do is respect her wishes and try to find someone else
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to want someone you can't have. For whatever reason that may be. And to have to settle being "just friends" with them?.... If you can't deal with being this girl's friend then I suggest that you break off all contact with her. If you do choose to remain friends then it's best if you learn to accept/respect her decision and move on. Either way, it seems as though you have no choice but accept her decision.
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
dude.. she wants you make her happy (in other words, give her good sex) If you are not going to do that she will look somewhere else. They may come up with a hundred ways of rationalizing this, but thats what it boils down to.
Click to expand...

So are you saying that he wasn't giving her good sex? lol If a woman says that she wants to be friends then that's what she usually wants. I think that goes for men as well.

It could have been some other reason but in this case that's what it is missing. See when you have sex, her body releases hormones & other stuff to increase the bonding between the couple. If you are not sexing her regularly, then this will be missing.
Click to expand...

This is very true, but something tells me that it does not apply here. I don't think that she doesn't want a relationship due to the fact that they're not having sex regularly. Time apart usually increases desire if the desire is there in the first place. Especially if the sex is good. It's not going to make one person want another person less.

Now having realized that, the way to get her back, is ignore what she says about being friends and treat her like she is a new girl and go about whatever you did to seduce her. (work on her emotions, make her jealous etc, non-creepy touching, being playful etc). Make sure you are not too needy while doing this.
Click to expand...

If I told a man that I only wanted to be friends and he started doing what you've suggested above, I would get pissed off. One guy who I had decided I just wanted to be friends with thought that he could "get me back" by being clever and cute and seductive and it just made me not want to be friends with him.

Lastly, realize that she is not the only girl in the world and keep approaching other girls, otherwise you will end up putting her on a platter.
Click to expand...

I like that advice.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top