I feel like my past has come to haunt me. First I was washing dishes for several days and I keep seeing this guy who looks exactly like a neighbor, plus he keeps on talking about the country that he's from, which is the same country the neighbor's from. Next, my brother showed me a youtube vid of a particular guy from this country. And later on, the showerhead mysteriously malfunctioned and so my brother told me to tell my mom to fix it. I know we had several mobile showerheads given to us by a particular neighbor. But we won't be using those to replace the malfunctioning showerhead, for several reasons.
First, I would to leave the past behind and move forward. For as long as we could remember, our relations with neighbors have been sucky, and that's sort of an understatement. I don't want to get too close to my neighbors. It's best if we just mind our own business and move on from the past.
Second, ok just because I had some bad relations with some people of a particular ethnicity doesn't mean I'm suddenly racist or hateful towards them. I try very hard not to hate people. Hatred doesn't serve any useful purpose.
Third, I admit I was rude towards some neighbors in the past, and they to me as well. I didn't know how to deal with poeple, given my sucky social skills, I'm very shy, prefer to be quiet, and I was a rebellious teenager back then. I wore lots of dark clothes. So I don't think the neighbors liked me one bit. But, our ties were severed now. I don't want people to dig up past wounds and memories again. What stays in the past stays in the past. Friends come and go. Some people don't click with other people, and so they drift apart. It's a pretty common thing. I want to focus on the present moment and work on my issues, which I have a lot. The last thing I want to deal with is care about my neighbors again and be paranoid, or be a people pleaser.
