I'm sorry to know about your experience,it must've been real exhausting for you.I know how it feels when ppl blame you for being something you aren't.My teachers were also pretty much like yours,even though they saw others bullying me they never took an intiative to stop them.It was more like the bullies could get away with anything just cos they were popular.....I don't want to blame any number of people, but I think that it was to do with school, and my friends. In complete defence of my friends, two of them had cases of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and we know that dealing with a disorder is difficult. They were good friends, but even though we all got bullied, badly, they couldn't help themselves doing the same to me, while complaining about the bullying that they received. People got the wrong idea, completely the wrong idea. They thought that we were all head-cases. No one thought, even for a second, that I was unhappy with them hitting me, and breaking my things, and pulling my hair, and going into the bathroom, coming out with soap in their hands and rubbing it in my face. The teachers were the same: if those two were misbehaving, even hitting me in plain sight, the teacher wouldn't say "leave him alone", oh no, it was always "pack it in, the three of you" (or four when my other friend was around, but he usually hit them back).
That's why I hated school. I thought that they were good friends when they weren't hitting me, but I never wanted people to think that I was like them. I'm nothing like them - all that we had in common was being not cool enough to be friends with anyone else. No one ever saw us as individuals. Only one teacher ever observed that what they were doing was bullying, and this is what she said: "why are you friends with them?". For a few moments, when she was talking to me, I thought she understood. Then she asked that.
Everything else about the school is to blame. Primary school was fine. I took part in performances, and writing and poetry competitions. High school, bad. I just wanted to do my work, more than I wanted to make friends. I had one, I thought he was the only friend I would ever need. He changed to get out of the bullying - fair play to him - but I never appreciated the way that, when he got popular, and had influence among the popular people, he never tried to encourage them to stop bullying me. He was my friend for seven years. I haven't seen him in five, and I'm glad.
I should add that the 'third friend' never used to hit me like they did. He is the best friend I've ever had, and I hope that I'm friends with him forever.
The problem is really what you said. We are different. We don't follow trends. We usually don't like what people are into (clothes, style, tv, music, facebook...). When we are different, it is difficult to connect to others. We get shy and have nothing to talk about. And eventually, the worst case scenario, you will get bullied.
I don't understand people, I really don't...
I've always felt "different", like I never really fit in anywhere. I'm the type that follows my own interests, which may or may not be whatever is "in". For some reason, people just don't seem to like that. As my name says, I'm a black sheep!The problem is really what you said. We are different. We don't follow trends. We usually don't like what people are into (clothes, style, tv, music, facebook...). When we are different, it is difficult to connect to others. We get shy and have nothing to talk about. And eventually, the worst case scenario, you will get bullied.
I don't understand people, I really don't...
It's probably a combination of things but I think most of the blame goes to my parents for being too overprotective.
mainly, I think mine has to do with genetics my parents was shy to but they where not as shy as me though. I always had trouble with my voice going up and down when I talk everyone always complaining weather I was yelling from talking to loud or talk to queitly. I also had troublle getting into normal thing that everyone else was into. I had trouble pluging in to what people really meant when they where talking. My SA went up after my parents died.I never was the same after that the happiness and confidents just disapeared. I stop trying to tell jokes that where funny around people. So, I just give up on talking all together.
^^^I think my social anxiety has to do with my family. My siblings were just joking, but they picked on me constantly. And I always felt like I was getting talked over in my family, so, eventually I stopped talking altogether. I closed up as a child and was afraid to ever open.
Thank you Shyangel same for you if you every need someone to talk to I will be their.I had the same trouble with my voice as well, Bo. I would talk in accents or I would sound like I had a sour throat. People made fun of me all the time for it, but I couldn't control it. I can relate with you about not really being on the same level as the person your talking to. I have a serious problem with that. The group will be laughing and I will be frowning, it's really hard to connect with people like that. I'm sorry for what you had to go through, Bo. You must be really strong to be where you are right now. If you want to talk about it with someone, feel free to contact me.