what do you look for

[mrb]

in a possible bf gf .... would you like them to have sa like yourself , or be more confident to try and help you with your sa , my gf hasnt got sa and i do find her confidence a little over whelming sometimes ... having said that she does understand mine and doesnt make me anything i dont want to do ........

 

[Emily_G]

Hmmm...I think if I were single I'd go for a guy who was more outgoing than me to push me out of my comfort zone but also very understanding. Ha! Just described my hub

 

[Silvox Black]

If I were looking for a partner, I would search for someone with the same basic similarities as me in terms of beliefs and other certain matters that make interaction possible. However I would also wish to find that the person has qualities that are not the same as me and personality differences from mine as well. That way there is enough variance for there to be something new in the relationship and something to be learned from spending time with your partner. A balance between similarities and differences is best in my opinion.

 

[eggpod]

I just want someone who 'gets' me.
Someone shy would allow me to relate to them easier. Someone more outgoing might bring me out of my shell and make me try new things. Both positive really in their own ways.

 

[lonely_drummer]

Ive only been in 1 relationship and it was with a girl who was a lot more outgoing than me. She ended up despising me and broke it off after a year. As for my next relationship (if im given a 2nd crack at this dating thing), it would be nice to be with someone who has social problems like me. I think it would be easy to relate to eachother whenever we needed help. Also, two heads are better than one when trying to tackle a problem. So its really hard to try to communicate and solve this if one of the people dont even know what language the problem is in.

 

[Why]

i want a gf that will like me for who i am and vice versa. She can be outgoing or shy. However when i see girls on the street, i envision those best fit to be my gf to be the shy type. I just assume the outgoing/popular ones wont want to date a guy like me

 

[Luke1993]

i want a gf that will like me for who i am and vice versa. She can be outgoing or shy. However when i see girls on the street, i envision those best fit to be my gf to be the shy type. I just assume the outgoing/popular ones wont want to date a guy like me

Yes I feel very much the same on the matter.

 

[market.garden]

Ive only been in 1 relationship and it was with a girl who was a lot more outgoing than me. She ended up despising me and broke it off after a year. As for my next relationship (if im given a 2nd crack at this dating thing), it would be nice to be with someone who has social problems like me. I think it would be easy to relate to eachother whenever we needed help. Also, two heads are better than one when trying to tackle a problem. So its really hard to try to communicate and solve this if one of the people dont even know what language the problem is in.

I agree totally

 

[xxaimsxx]

Well i would want the guy to understand my condition. So therefore being a little bit like me. Its like for e.g if they were very loud and lets say we both had to meet up with his friends or go to a party i would feel left out.

I would say 50/50. I dont want someone too loud or too quiet.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

my gf hasnt got sa and i do find her confidence a little over whelming sometimes

I've had a problem with this in the past. Most, maybe all the girls I've dated are more outgoing than I am. Often, they've made the first move.

It would be awesome to find someone who doesn't always want to go out, and who doesn't seem to have a need to be around large groups of people frequently.

I really only want humanity in certain doses, even people I like. Even people I like a lot.

 

[philly2bits]

A balance between similarities and differences is best in my opinion.

I agree with this. You need a base of similarities to get the relationship going in the first place and you need differences to keep it going after you've been in it awhile. Without enough similarities at the beginning the relationship will not last IMO. Disagreements will start right away. First bickering here and there over small things but over time that will only grow into bigger fights and in most cases the relationship will probably fail at that point.

Differences are also necessary. Firstly, just admitting that you have differences is a good thing. It shows you trust each other enough that the other person will not get on your case about it or make fun of you and they will respect you. Secondly, having differences actually help when it comes to solving problems, either with the relationship itself or in one the persons lives. Having someone who can see the problem with different eyes helps in that they may see a solution you can not. If both parties had the same point of view on everything then once a problem was reached that neither could solve, the relationship may suffer.

 

[Elad]

Never really look for charactaristics in people... can be attracted to everything for different reasons.

If something sparks and we connect, awesome and if we dont... we dont.

 

[Dronee]

Ive only been in 1 relationship and it was with a girl who was a lot more outgoing than me. She ended up despising me and broke it off after a year. As for my next relationship (if im given a 2nd crack at this dating thing), it would be nice to be with someone who has social problems like me. I think it would be easy to relate to eachother whenever we needed help. Also, two heads are better than one when trying to tackle a problem. So its really hard to try to communicate and solve this if one of the people dont even know what language the problem is in.

True. Btw, you're the one who's going to be a physicist, no? Congrats on that!

 

[lonely_drummer]

True. Btw, you're the one who's going to be a physicist, no? Congrats on that!

Hey thanks! Hopefully I can hold on a little longer and finish but I doubt I'll pursue a career in physics and probably just concentrate on music.

 

[dooby-duck]

Someone who is very understanding.

 

[EgoZero]

I believe I look for too much for me to get, thats why I'm gonna be lonely.

 

[mrb]

Someone who is very understanding.

i do have to say my gf it that lol very understanding , i soppose most of my worries are all the mixing with people im going to have to do when i move to another contry to live with her , it wont just be me in the house with her , its her 2 daughters there bfs there children , people coming around to visit , it will be very hard for me to adapt , iv said b4 on here sometimes im like pfft ill be ok , other times it keeps me awake at night worring about it , im doing it but hmmmmmm

 

[eggpod]

Because of having zero relationships in the past, I think I could only be happy with someone who is equally inexperienced, and as such I would find that trait quite attractive (read: less intimidating).

This only makes things far less likely to happen of course. Because I still see myself as an underdeveloped teenager (despite being just over mid-thirties), I seem to be attracted more to younger women, who are just far too young to be interested and would probably share no common interests.

Women in what would be my 'normal' age range just seem too 'grown up' to me and I'd be sure nothing could last because they know what to do and expect in a relationship. So I'm kind of left drifting in the middle, with no solid fix on what I should be looking for. That is all assuming that I could get even a hint of interest from somebody which has yet to happen. The percentage chances of everything magically falling into place are rapidly dropping as the years go by,

 

[secretly awesome]

so far my gf's have all been at ease socially, and more aggressive than most women. not that this is the only type i'm interested in. it's just easier to get something going with them.

 

[secretly awesome]

eggpod, without knowing you, may i just suggest that perhaps you are making a few too many assumptions about women for someone who hasn't had relationships. i haven't had many of my own, but one thing i've learned is that women can be full of surprises, often of the pleasant variety. relationship-related experience and learning can happen in a short period of time, especially for someone with general life experience behind them. don't limit your options because of fears or assumptions which may not be well-grounded. i just dated a woman who is several years older than me, and way more experienced. This gap showed at various points in the night, but i was still able to be charming in my own way.