What Do You Do With Anger?

[Beatrice]

I have trouble handling my anger. I don't have friends to vent to, and my family members can't always be there and can only do so much. Sometimes I just get so full of rage that I don't know what to do with myself. Other times it's just mild to moderate annoyance, but it puts me in a sour mood.

People piss me off. My counselor told me I have a long fuse, but.... she's definitely wrong. I am usually good at holding my annoyance in for a while, though. Managing my responses to people. But only to a point.

How do you deal with anger/annoyance?

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

I yell into a pillow and hit a boxing bag. Or do relaxing things... or well... talk. WRITE. Still ... without ppl to talk to I know how it is. Best way. It can help to rant to someone even not in person. It's better than nothing. It's poison for the soul tho dont let it fester, or release it in an unhealthy way. I make a good sound off board or punching bag feel free to tell me off anytime.

 

[Kiwong]

Distraction. I do something to take my mind of the anger. Best thing to do is go for a fast angry run along a bush trail where I can scream out loud and only Kangaroos will hear.

Pragmatism. Knowing that when I get really angry I will feel unwell, and it will probably set off a runaway chain of thoughts that will make me feel like crap for days maybe weeks. If I hold back on the anger and distract myself then the anger might only last for hours.

 

[sprode]

I keep it in, because I have no one else to go to. Or I go online and try to maintain some semblance of sanity.

I always wished I had a punching bag. I was good at holding it in for a long time, but now I think I've run out of space.

 

[Kinetik]

I know how you feel, Beahtriss. I think getting irritated with people is the main reason for my avoidance. When I meet up with my family we generally get on pretty well but there's definitely this underlying feeling in the air of them of having to walk on eggshells around me. My ex said she used to feel the same thing.

Aside from that I do have occasional issues when strangers are doing me wrong. I've been known to act up if I get cut off in traffic, if people bump into me in town, or if my neighbours are playing their horrible music til 4 in the morning. I've made a lot of progress in this the last couple of years though, and I'm trying more and more to practice what I preach (ie. don't let things get to you).

But in general I do find that if I'm just doing my own thing with nobody around me, then my mood is very stable. So if I can't easily get over it, the best remedy for me is just to take off and do things solo for a while. I seem to have this streak of intolerance when it comes to people's b/s, which is probably due to the fact that my parents were very strict while I was growing up. I was never allowed any mistakes, so now I really begrudge others messing up.

 

[nicole1]

Anger is a thirst for knowledge. True or false? I think I'm leaning towards true. When I'm angry, inquiring as to why I'm angry helps more than anything I've tried. Sharing your emotions can give you fresh insight on where they're sourced. Venting on this site can help?

It's good that you're not good at holding it in because suppressing your feelings doesn't solve anything. I believe people feel a certain way for a certain reason. Sometimes it's a catalyst for change and self discovery.

I can agree with this one.

 

[nicole1]

I think exercise helped me most. Wii boxing or online kickboxing was always my fave. Talking it out was the best solution but I hate putting that on someone else.
If I don't get it out some how, it just comes out on the next person to annoy me.

 

[Phoenixx]

I've had trouble handling my anger too lately. I don't have too many people to vent to, so I always end up holding it in. That's never good though, cuz in the end I always end up lashing out at my family or someone close. I do try and write a lot, I keep a journal. Sometimes it doesn't always work though. :/

 

[Newtype]

When I was younger I was punching walls and doors and made holes in them. My parents would unleash hell on me every time. Now I'm not as angry as I used to be. If I'm really angry, I just punch my bed, it doesn't do any damage. But one thing that I do every day is I buy really strong mouthwash, put it in my mouth, tilt my head backwards and exhale and that hurts like hell. While it's hurting, I think of all my troubles. I feel better after that.

 

[BlackPuma]

I have very unhealthy ways of dealing with it. The trouble is that I'm a -too- angry person to let it out.

That is because pretty much everyone I know dumps his/her problems onto because ''I'm a good listener''. It's a snowball effect of unresolved anger and frustration, and I notice that once I let go I get this craving for destruction. Not just airing frustration, but actual violence. I need to see things break. I find it scary to be in that state of mind, because I loose control.

I've learned to keep myself on a duly happiness level that I don't blow up to anyone, I do that though meditation and rationalization. Though, that does mean that frustration builds up immensely I break down completely from time to time. Or have a strong migraine. I try to break down when there's nobody around, otherwise they'd worry too much.

Like I said, not a very healthy method.

 

[Fighter86]

I have a much shorter fuse in recent times, especially since starting my current job, it is very stressful, getting yelled at frequently by a boss with a short fuse pressurise me greatly and spills into my private life, so I am quite quick tempered now adays with little patience.

 

[Danfalc]

I try and release it. I think like a lot of people with anxiety, I use to bottle it up until breaking point, then I would snap.

Now I just work out on my punch bag, or do some exercise and listen to some heavy music, I try and turn it into motivation and a positive thing.

I think someone on this site once suggested breaking things, as a kind of therapy. And by things, I mean stuff you have bought or made with the sole intention of breaking, not your normal household stuff or furniture. I think that's great advice as breaking stuff does feel very therapeutic.

 

[gazelle]

Along with what everyone already said, I've found screaming at puppies to be very cathartic, too.

LOL! along with the salivating stuff I surely wouldn't want to have puppies in your neighborhood dude!

 

[popolala]

erm, being angry easily affects the personality big time..

because if u r angry, u wont really see the funny side, or light side of things.. i know some people can make a thing turn into a joke..

one time there was this person who once talked to this person i know with rudeness, but because my friend was a kind person she says please, thank you.. in a nice tone even when she was rude and that rude person suddenly changed her tone of speaking and you can tell she felt a bit of guilt at the end.. so yeah, at the end kindness beats rudeness..

The thing to keep in mind is, its not the people you should be mad at, its what they do... people can change.

sometimes when im angry, i later realises i shouldnt had let out my anger.. by then its too late and im already having a guilty concience building up... which if i keep it up, i am now what i am, severe SA.

anwyays when ur angry the only person in pain is urself.. which will affect your personality.. your be a bit more guilty and unhappy, and eventually SA will get worst..

so its important to control temper.. i try not let other people's problem be my problem.. now, and if i dont have anything nice to say, i try not to say anything at all.. its best for me to live a quiet life.. because i actually dont have much nice thing to say..

people might give u advise on where to vent your anger, but its feels so much better to control it, because venting anger means u r angry, and u still going to be angry after u vent,

lets say its not your fault, its the other persons fault.. well if you didnt do anything wrong then there is nothing to be angry about..

building up anger is bad and unhealthy.. best to not be angry at all.. well not easily..

Before, i felt that if i went to a large ocean and just scream out loud.. i will feel so much better.. anyways i prob talk to much..

if i was u, i would look up on self-esteem.. because it really helps

 

[Hamelech]

Hearing death metal, of course.

YouTube - Severe Torture - Slaughtered

 

[kihira]

If I can't rethink and accept the situation that made me angry, I'll drive and sit overlooking the ocean until my anger dissolves in the waves and blows away on the sea breeze.

 

[IGotSeoul]

I will tell you what worked for me, maybe it will help you to. What I definitely learned to do was hold my tongue! Learning to be in control of my mouth was the first step, but it leaves you with pent up frustration. To remedy this frustration I would often take a little time to myself to often write down what I feel and why I feel this way. Later discussing it with the person I got angry with. After a while it became less a process and more a matter of instinctively cutting off the anger from being destructive. You'll still have your lapses, but when that becomes the exception rather than the rule, it is not as big a problem as it once was.

yes, definitely. I was playing team fortress 2 awhile back and this player kept killing me in the most unfashionable ways. it's very easy to get frustrated and spew a string of foul language at his direction, but instead; I held my tongue, analyzed why I was feeling angry, then sat with him in spectator mode and politely told him how and why he was a TERRIBLE TERRRRIBLE pyro.

no just kidding, we helped improve eachothers game and are still friends due to us not acting on our anger when we met.

 

[emerald_star733]

I usually curse and then work out, or just unplug for a bit doing something that takes me away mentally from whatever has angered me. If someone has really pissed me off i usually stew about it and hold a grudge, not good.. but i am being honest.

 

[warewolf95]

I usually just forget everything else and do something music related

 

[Hastings & Main]

I actually googled that question just the other day!
Actually, it was more along the lines of 'how do women handle anger', since every time a gf or woman I knew got really angry, they just sort of did nothing, then went about the daily routine. This, plus the fact that whenever I'd punch a wall or throw something (never in her direction, or in any way a threatening manner: I will always hurt myself in anger rather than take it out on somebody. Unless they're stabbing me), she would always say, "Feel better now? Why do men always have to destroy something when they're angry?"

SO, I always thought that females had some sort of secret to dealing with it, something that men didn't know or couldn't do because of the way we think. Still haven't found an answer, but it seems (from my search) that women just pack it up and hold it in. How it gets released, I don't know. Yes, I've seen women blow up in rage, but it seems to be lot rarer than with males.

As for how I get through the anger? Either put on Slayer's "God Hates Us All" or some Poison Idea or Black Flag and mock-scream along. Or smash stuff.

Wish there was a more 'positive' way, tho'.