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Odo
Banned
There sure is a royal amount of 'me-talk' in this journal... it's probably embarrassing just because it means others know just how willing I am to go on and on about myself.
But anyways, here's something that really pisses me off:
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I really do think we've come to the point where we realize that industrialization was overall a bad thing. Even though people are happy because most of us have everything we need to survive and it's easy to drown everything out in entertainment and leisure and work and family... I don't think that there's anyone who doesn't know that this is a toxic existence.
But I don't even think modern people are capable of going back to living in a less impactful way. I don't think they would want to... because living like this has made us weaker and stupider and more evil than we have ever been. We're too wrapped up in ourselves. And we won't change, because I don't even think we'll ever have to.
I'm sure that if the storms get worse, they'll come up with a solution for that... not a solution that helps to make things better, but one that makes sure that we can keep going. A solution that means that the humans will be safe, but the rest of the world won't be. And we'll still be so into ourselves we won't notice, or we'll project the blame elsewhere, or we'll do the minimum and then wonder why someone doesn't do something about it all... and then we'll go shopping to make ourselves feel better. It won't matter if there are mass extinctions and our great great grandchildren inherit a wasteland, because there's a solution for everything... even living in a wasteland, provided it doesn't happen too quickly.
The worst part is that I actually don't feel guilty. I don't really feel anything... I just want to be accepted by other people and have the things they have so I can fit in and not feel embarrassed because the people around me are better off. That is literally all that I care about-- the only thing I really want more than anything else in the world is to be accepted by other people. I don't even know why... I think because it feels good. But I know it's the wrong way to be... so I guess I am weak.
I think in order to be good, not only would I have to make enormous sacrifices, I would also have to somehow reverse all of the damage that I have already caused. And when you consider how much easier it is to destroy than create, it would probably take several lifetimes to do it. I would have to go out and actively save things. I would have to spend pretty much every waking moment trying to help the non-human world get back to where it was before I started to help wrecking it.
It's so much easier to just do what everyone else is doing and buy into the bullshit that suggests that MORE of it is going to help with anything. Distracting yourself with novelty after novelty is NOT the best way to live, no matter how much 'this is new and exciting', 'seize the day', 'what an experience', 'it's convenient', 'places to see/things to do before you die' bullshit is being thrown around by just about everyone. It's all just consumer culture... both experiences AND things. People would be better off if they just focused on their immediate realities, used their creativity, and actually tried to give things up instead of trying to get more and more things-- be they material goods or experiences or status points or whatever. But there is nothing stupider than shopping at a supermarket. Nothing less self-serving than going on vacation. Nothing more pointlessly destructive than fashion. And nothing more isolating than modern technology.
Nothing that we can do is actually worth doing anymore. Helping doesn't help... you can't get in a car or plane and travel 1000 miles to clean oil off of baby seals without supporting the oil industry. You can't gain an appreciation for nature without damaging it just by being there. There are always the selfish wastes of space that don't give a shit, of course... but yeah, even trying to be a good person in this kind of society is wrong. Having a family/supporting them isn't assuring the survival of the species anymore-- it's contributing to overpopulation. Even though people like to say that being educated means people have less children, chances are if you're educated, your children belong to a nation where consumption rates are way way way above where they should be, and you're contributing MORE to the destruction of the planet.
What really boggles my mind is that at the same time, everyone feels more special and more entitled than ever before. Somehow, with billions of destructive, selfish, evil creatures on the planet, we've come to the conclusion that human life is actually MORE precious than it used to be... so much that we shouldn't let other people starve, or that everyone deserves a happy, healthy existence... and everyone should live to be 125 years old.
But longer lives aren't making people happier, in fact it's just the opposite... people are killing themselves more often. Retirement dreams are broken promises. The health care industry is profiting, but that's about it. Meanwhile, communications technology is making people more alienated from each other... vehicles are causing pollution and all kinds of environmental havoc through the depletion of natural resources as well as the processes used to mine them... and all of our frontiers are polluted and disrespected.
I can't think of a single non-selfish positive thing about the human race. The only thing that people are good for is other people. We're evil because we think we are good and right and just. Because we follow the laws that we made up for ourselves and the universe out of ignorance. Because we believe in what we're doing, and our own right to exist... even though it's obvious it's all just happening because we can't stop ourselves. That's basically what evil is-- actions motivated by an unbridled self-interest, a complete lack of self-control, combined with a hopeless disregard for everything else... and that is us.
But anyways, here's something that really pisses me off:
Yahoo News Canada - Latest News & Headlines
I really do think we've come to the point where we realize that industrialization was overall a bad thing. Even though people are happy because most of us have everything we need to survive and it's easy to drown everything out in entertainment and leisure and work and family... I don't think that there's anyone who doesn't know that this is a toxic existence.
But I don't even think modern people are capable of going back to living in a less impactful way. I don't think they would want to... because living like this has made us weaker and stupider and more evil than we have ever been. We're too wrapped up in ourselves. And we won't change, because I don't even think we'll ever have to.
I'm sure that if the storms get worse, they'll come up with a solution for that... not a solution that helps to make things better, but one that makes sure that we can keep going. A solution that means that the humans will be safe, but the rest of the world won't be. And we'll still be so into ourselves we won't notice, or we'll project the blame elsewhere, or we'll do the minimum and then wonder why someone doesn't do something about it all... and then we'll go shopping to make ourselves feel better. It won't matter if there are mass extinctions and our great great grandchildren inherit a wasteland, because there's a solution for everything... even living in a wasteland, provided it doesn't happen too quickly.
The worst part is that I actually don't feel guilty. I don't really feel anything... I just want to be accepted by other people and have the things they have so I can fit in and not feel embarrassed because the people around me are better off. That is literally all that I care about-- the only thing I really want more than anything else in the world is to be accepted by other people. I don't even know why... I think because it feels good. But I know it's the wrong way to be... so I guess I am weak.
I think in order to be good, not only would I have to make enormous sacrifices, I would also have to somehow reverse all of the damage that I have already caused. And when you consider how much easier it is to destroy than create, it would probably take several lifetimes to do it. I would have to go out and actively save things. I would have to spend pretty much every waking moment trying to help the non-human world get back to where it was before I started to help wrecking it.
It's so much easier to just do what everyone else is doing and buy into the bullshit that suggests that MORE of it is going to help with anything. Distracting yourself with novelty after novelty is NOT the best way to live, no matter how much 'this is new and exciting', 'seize the day', 'what an experience', 'it's convenient', 'places to see/things to do before you die' bullshit is being thrown around by just about everyone. It's all just consumer culture... both experiences AND things. People would be better off if they just focused on their immediate realities, used their creativity, and actually tried to give things up instead of trying to get more and more things-- be they material goods or experiences or status points or whatever. But there is nothing stupider than shopping at a supermarket. Nothing less self-serving than going on vacation. Nothing more pointlessly destructive than fashion. And nothing more isolating than modern technology.
Nothing that we can do is actually worth doing anymore. Helping doesn't help... you can't get in a car or plane and travel 1000 miles to clean oil off of baby seals without supporting the oil industry. You can't gain an appreciation for nature without damaging it just by being there. There are always the selfish wastes of space that don't give a shit, of course... but yeah, even trying to be a good person in this kind of society is wrong. Having a family/supporting them isn't assuring the survival of the species anymore-- it's contributing to overpopulation. Even though people like to say that being educated means people have less children, chances are if you're educated, your children belong to a nation where consumption rates are way way way above where they should be, and you're contributing MORE to the destruction of the planet.
What really boggles my mind is that at the same time, everyone feels more special and more entitled than ever before. Somehow, with billions of destructive, selfish, evil creatures on the planet, we've come to the conclusion that human life is actually MORE precious than it used to be... so much that we shouldn't let other people starve, or that everyone deserves a happy, healthy existence... and everyone should live to be 125 years old.
But longer lives aren't making people happier, in fact it's just the opposite... people are killing themselves more often. Retirement dreams are broken promises. The health care industry is profiting, but that's about it. Meanwhile, communications technology is making people more alienated from each other... vehicles are causing pollution and all kinds of environmental havoc through the depletion of natural resources as well as the processes used to mine them... and all of our frontiers are polluted and disrespected.
I can't think of a single non-selfish positive thing about the human race. The only thing that people are good for is other people. We're evil because we think we are good and right and just. Because we follow the laws that we made up for ourselves and the universe out of ignorance. Because we believe in what we're doing, and our own right to exist... even though it's obvious it's all just happening because we can't stop ourselves. That's basically what evil is-- actions motivated by an unbridled self-interest, a complete lack of self-control, combined with a hopeless disregard for everything else... and that is us.
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Odo
Banned
I'm in another 'why do I keep coming here?' kind of mood... but maybe it's more like a 'you shouldn't be spending so much time here' thing.
It's seriously like being in a room full of people and being constantly unsure whether you even like them or whether they like you... and then you say something, and nobody says anything back, and you don't know how to interpret it but mostly you just worry that you're annoying everyone... or maybe it's just a matter of feeling insignificant or like you're wasting both your and everyone else's time. Maybe the problem is that right now I can't find enough to do.
I don't necessarily feel the need to impress here. Somehow self-absorbed Social Phobics don't fill me with the need to censor my less-desirable attributes. If anything, they empower those attributes, because they're not keeping them in check either.
I even get the impression that if I were to take an active interest in most people on here, they would either think it was creepy or they wouldn't reciprocate. I also vaguely feel like spending so much time here makes me a loser.
This isn't one of those 'please close my account' things, because I really don't think I can't control myself... just that yeah, it's not clicking right now and to be even more honest, there are definitely people on here who I flat-out dislike on a gut level... I'm not completely sure why. Usually that happens when you see elements of yourself that you dislike in someone else... but I don't even think that's it. Well, sometimes it is.
I guess it happens everywhere, though.
It's seriously like being in a room full of people and being constantly unsure whether you even like them or whether they like you... and then you say something, and nobody says anything back, and you don't know how to interpret it but mostly you just worry that you're annoying everyone... or maybe it's just a matter of feeling insignificant or like you're wasting both your and everyone else's time. Maybe the problem is that right now I can't find enough to do.
I don't necessarily feel the need to impress here. Somehow self-absorbed Social Phobics don't fill me with the need to censor my less-desirable attributes. If anything, they empower those attributes, because they're not keeping them in check either.
I even get the impression that if I were to take an active interest in most people on here, they would either think it was creepy or they wouldn't reciprocate. I also vaguely feel like spending so much time here makes me a loser.
This isn't one of those 'please close my account' things, because I really don't think I can't control myself... just that yeah, it's not clicking right now and to be even more honest, there are definitely people on here who I flat-out dislike on a gut level... I'm not completely sure why. Usually that happens when you see elements of yourself that you dislike in someone else... but I don't even think that's it. Well, sometimes it is.
I guess it happens everywhere, though.
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Odo
Banned
Yeah, I think I'm going to seriously give this place a rest.
This is going to sound pretty lame and insecure, but I can't stand it when I send someone a PM or post something and get no response... I'm not expecting some gushing grateful reply or anything, and yes, it's just an online forum and I'll never meet you or know you and you have no obligation to be polite or nice, but yeah... it pisses me off. I wasn't being creepy and basically all I wanted to get was an acknowledgement.
I guess I've deleted a lot of posts here where I've responded to people, but they were there before and to me it just seems like common decency to reply to anyone who takes the time to read what you're writing and think of a response. I don't think anyone should expect the moon or anything, but yeah. And I can't get over the general cliqueyness and sense of being left out. I don't even want to try to talk to people here anymore because they don't seem very friendly, or they're kids. Maybe that's why there aren't very many people on the site.
I just deleted all of the entries that were boring or stupid, and kept some of the ones that at least approached interesting or painfully honest... but yeah, hopefully I'll have enough self-control to avoid the site for a while and focus on studying.
This is going to sound pretty lame and insecure, but I can't stand it when I send someone a PM or post something and get no response... I'm not expecting some gushing grateful reply or anything, and yes, it's just an online forum and I'll never meet you or know you and you have no obligation to be polite or nice, but yeah... it pisses me off. I wasn't being creepy and basically all I wanted to get was an acknowledgement.
I guess I've deleted a lot of posts here where I've responded to people, but they were there before and to me it just seems like common decency to reply to anyone who takes the time to read what you're writing and think of a response. I don't think anyone should expect the moon or anything, but yeah. And I can't get over the general cliqueyness and sense of being left out. I don't even want to try to talk to people here anymore because they don't seem very friendly, or they're kids. Maybe that's why there aren't very many people on the site.
I just deleted all of the entries that were boring or stupid, and kept some of the ones that at least approached interesting or painfully honest... but yeah, hopefully I'll have enough self-control to avoid the site for a while and focus on studying.
Odo
Banned
Well, I didn't give it a rest.
I think I was just in a bad mood. I'm still not in such a great frame of mind, but I can see that getting upset about that kind of thing is stupid. I guess I always KNOW that it's stupid, but the annoyance of it irritates me to irrationality at times. But who knows... I've been seeing messages about people getting harassed and stuff so maybe that has something to do with it. Regardless, it isn't a major deal... rudeness happens all the time for various reasons and I know myself better than other people, especially strangers.
So yesterday I tried to fill out an OKCupid profile. I told myself I was going to be completely 100 percent honest about everything so I didn't end up overselling myself and then disappointing someone. Sufficed to say, it was a pretty depressing exercise and I couldn't think of a single way to spin my personality and life situation into something that would even attract someone on a purely platonic level... not without being dishonest, anyways... and there's just no way I can compete with people who are either legitimately secure in themselves, or know how to act like they are. I actually read the thing back to myself and laughed out loud.
I don't think I can not feel at least a little bit ashamed of myself right now, and I think that that is probably the biggest obstacle in finding a friend. Nobody wants to bond over low self-esteem, and if they do, they probably won't have a very good attitude towards that friendship. Most of the people in similar situations to mine won't go near me because they're probably in their 20s and I'm 35... and if they're 35, they're probably wayyyy ahead of me socially, financially, and professionally.
I think this is just something I'm going to have to put up with for now... if I can get into web stuff, then I can get going on life. Hopefully I won't be too old at that point... I already know I'm not young anymore, but there are still a few youthful qualities that haven't completely faded away and I hope that by the time my life situation gets better/more ideal I'll be in a position where I can enjoy myself again.
I think I was just in a bad mood. I'm still not in such a great frame of mind, but I can see that getting upset about that kind of thing is stupid. I guess I always KNOW that it's stupid, but the annoyance of it irritates me to irrationality at times. But who knows... I've been seeing messages about people getting harassed and stuff so maybe that has something to do with it. Regardless, it isn't a major deal... rudeness happens all the time for various reasons and I know myself better than other people, especially strangers.
So yesterday I tried to fill out an OKCupid profile. I told myself I was going to be completely 100 percent honest about everything so I didn't end up overselling myself and then disappointing someone. Sufficed to say, it was a pretty depressing exercise and I couldn't think of a single way to spin my personality and life situation into something that would even attract someone on a purely platonic level... not without being dishonest, anyways... and there's just no way I can compete with people who are either legitimately secure in themselves, or know how to act like they are. I actually read the thing back to myself and laughed out loud.
I don't think I can not feel at least a little bit ashamed of myself right now, and I think that that is probably the biggest obstacle in finding a friend. Nobody wants to bond over low self-esteem, and if they do, they probably won't have a very good attitude towards that friendship. Most of the people in similar situations to mine won't go near me because they're probably in their 20s and I'm 35... and if they're 35, they're probably wayyyy ahead of me socially, financially, and professionally.
I think this is just something I'm going to have to put up with for now... if I can get into web stuff, then I can get going on life. Hopefully I won't be too old at that point... I already know I'm not young anymore, but there are still a few youthful qualities that haven't completely faded away and I hope that by the time my life situation gets better/more ideal I'll be in a position where I can enjoy myself again.
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Odo
Banned
Today I was excited because the track I uploaded to Soundcloud the other day has two likes. This is actually a pretty big deal for me because typically I get about 10 listens if I'm lucky, and maybe 1 like total. It could be because I suck, I'm not sure.
But I think they were likebots or something... because the people who apparently liked them were these really bland sort of electronic house music guys who probably paid for their comments. I really don't think they would ever listen to my kind of music, let alone like it... but it's a pretty good way of getting more listens, I guess.
But I think they were likebots or something... because the people who apparently liked them were these really bland sort of electronic house music guys who probably paid for their comments. I really don't think they would ever listen to my kind of music, let alone like it... but it's a pretty good way of getting more listens, I guess.
Odo
Banned
Today I was reading about ostracism and the effects of social rejection on Wikipedia.
They did a lab experiment involving a game of 'pass the ball'-- in the beginning people would pass the ball to each other but after a while they would exclude people. So apparently the women in this situation would stay open and keep hoping someone would pass them the ball, but the men would sort of shut down and remove themselves from the game entirely, I guess in some sort of attempt to preserve their self-esteem.
Sometimes, life feels exactly like that... a few people passing the ball, and the fact that they're rejecting others makes them feel better about getting the ball. Just getting the ball feels a lot better if you know that other people aren't... it makes you more special.
Anyways, tonight I went to see my mom sing in her choir... it was actually a pretty good concert. I sort of love choir music, and it was all 50s and 60s and 70s music, and not necessarily the big obvious hit stuff. I really liked the music... but then I saw all of these old people who used to know me or who they had heard about from my mom, and it was really hard to talk to them. I was so nervous about just seeing people in general... and trying to project the right emotions and not do anything too fidgety or weird. One of them was my French teacher in high school... I wanted to be friendlier to him but I honestly felt like if I talked to him anymore I would have done something where he would catch on to how nervous I am about everything, and I didn't want him to think there was anything wrong with me. I was so so so super self-conscious, and these weren't even people my own age... I think if they were, it could have seriously been a disaster.
I don't know how I'm going to break out of this... I think I might need to take something just to make some friends, and then hopefully I can get back in the loop and everything will return to normal.
They did a lab experiment involving a game of 'pass the ball'-- in the beginning people would pass the ball to each other but after a while they would exclude people. So apparently the women in this situation would stay open and keep hoping someone would pass them the ball, but the men would sort of shut down and remove themselves from the game entirely, I guess in some sort of attempt to preserve their self-esteem.
Sometimes, life feels exactly like that... a few people passing the ball, and the fact that they're rejecting others makes them feel better about getting the ball. Just getting the ball feels a lot better if you know that other people aren't... it makes you more special.
Anyways, tonight I went to see my mom sing in her choir... it was actually a pretty good concert. I sort of love choir music, and it was all 50s and 60s and 70s music, and not necessarily the big obvious hit stuff. I really liked the music... but then I saw all of these old people who used to know me or who they had heard about from my mom, and it was really hard to talk to them. I was so nervous about just seeing people in general... and trying to project the right emotions and not do anything too fidgety or weird. One of them was my French teacher in high school... I wanted to be friendlier to him but I honestly felt like if I talked to him anymore I would have done something where he would catch on to how nervous I am about everything, and I didn't want him to think there was anything wrong with me. I was so so so super self-conscious, and these weren't even people my own age... I think if they were, it could have seriously been a disaster.
I don't know how I'm going to break out of this... I think I might need to take something just to make some friends, and then hopefully I can get back in the loop and everything will return to normal.
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Odo
Banned
I've come to the conclusion that I'm actually a lot happier living at home than I was living on my own.
I thought I would be feeling super guilty, like I should be trying to get on with it... but instead, I feel better than ever. I don't have to deal with the noise of children. I don't have to come home from work and face the loneliness and despair of my apartment. I actually like having my parents to talk to. They're not being assholes at all and as long as I explain myself to them they seem to be pretty open... and I'm working towards something, which is always a good thing. Feeling like I have enough time to do something on my own is great.
I guess I would probably feel a lot worse about it if I had to explain to women that I live with my parents, but since I wasn't exactly on the market beforehand, very very little has changed. I don't even care if I never get married, and I'm not even saying that in a 'oh the despair and the loneliness' melodramatic sort of way. I can't think of very much that a girlfriend or wife would add to my life at this point. It just seems like so much more trouble than it's worth. Just putting the effort in seems futile. I would rather just try to become more comfortable with strangers.
The other night at my mom's concert I saw my old French teacher-- he has been single his entire life, and he's one of the most popular guys in town. He is involved in all kinds of things and what's more is he was one of the youngest-looking people there, considering his age. He had hardly even aged since he taught me in high school around 20 years ago. I think it's probably because he's single.
I was a lot more interested in finding someone when I actually cared what other people thought of me. Well, I still care... but only when they're around. And out here, there's nobody around. I think kids would just suck all of the life out of me. And unless someone actually has something to add besides kids and social status (well, a second income would be nice)... then it just seems like so many things could go wrong, and worst case scenario I end up sacrificing pretty much everything to be more like the person she wants/needs/expects me to be. Not that improving isn't a good idea, but I have my doubts that 'traditional' kinds of improvement are actually empowering as opposed to a kind of self-denial. And it doesn't make you happy or fulfilled, however much it gains you acceptance. Conformity does feel good, but there's something inherently dishonest about it when done for its own sake.
So after studying, today I went for my daily hour and a half long walk through the forest, and it was absolutely gorgeous. There's something really clean and peaceful about the cold and the snow. I listened to my Beach Boys mix and just generally didn't think about anything in particular.
I love the opening stages of winter... December is always such a great month. I'm not sure I would have been able to enjoy it in that way if my head had been full of other responsibilities and other priorities.
I thought I would be feeling super guilty, like I should be trying to get on with it... but instead, I feel better than ever. I don't have to deal with the noise of children. I don't have to come home from work and face the loneliness and despair of my apartment. I actually like having my parents to talk to. They're not being assholes at all and as long as I explain myself to them they seem to be pretty open... and I'm working towards something, which is always a good thing. Feeling like I have enough time to do something on my own is great.
I guess I would probably feel a lot worse about it if I had to explain to women that I live with my parents, but since I wasn't exactly on the market beforehand, very very little has changed. I don't even care if I never get married, and I'm not even saying that in a 'oh the despair and the loneliness' melodramatic sort of way. I can't think of very much that a girlfriend or wife would add to my life at this point. It just seems like so much more trouble than it's worth. Just putting the effort in seems futile. I would rather just try to become more comfortable with strangers.
The other night at my mom's concert I saw my old French teacher-- he has been single his entire life, and he's one of the most popular guys in town. He is involved in all kinds of things and what's more is he was one of the youngest-looking people there, considering his age. He had hardly even aged since he taught me in high school around 20 years ago. I think it's probably because he's single.
I was a lot more interested in finding someone when I actually cared what other people thought of me. Well, I still care... but only when they're around. And out here, there's nobody around. I think kids would just suck all of the life out of me. And unless someone actually has something to add besides kids and social status (well, a second income would be nice)... then it just seems like so many things could go wrong, and worst case scenario I end up sacrificing pretty much everything to be more like the person she wants/needs/expects me to be. Not that improving isn't a good idea, but I have my doubts that 'traditional' kinds of improvement are actually empowering as opposed to a kind of self-denial. And it doesn't make you happy or fulfilled, however much it gains you acceptance. Conformity does feel good, but there's something inherently dishonest about it when done for its own sake.
So after studying, today I went for my daily hour and a half long walk through the forest, and it was absolutely gorgeous. There's something really clean and peaceful about the cold and the snow. I listened to my Beach Boys mix and just generally didn't think about anything in particular.
I love the opening stages of winter... December is always such a great month. I'm not sure I would have been able to enjoy it in that way if my head had been full of other responsibilities and other priorities.
Odo
Banned
^Well, it's probably impossible to make everyone feel included and a few close friends are apparently better than lots of acquaintances, but still I think that it's important to be as egalitarian as possible and try not to completely cut people out for no reason.
I suppose that egalitarianism isn't always the best policy, though... letting the wrong people into your life can be a huge, horrible mistake.
I suppose that egalitarianism isn't always the best policy, though... letting the wrong people into your life can be a huge, horrible mistake.
Odo
Banned
Fantastic 85 Acerage overlooking the Takhini/Ibex Valley | land for sale | Whitehorse
LOOK AT THIS LAND!
I really can't afford it with the whole unemployment thing meaning I probably won't be able to get a loan and all, but if I knew a handful of others I would definitely go for this. Agricultural land, nature trails, 25 minutes from a decent-size city... we could build cabins and live like pioneers!
85 acres is more than enough for everyone to have a piece. It would be cold as hell in the winter, but it's all so gorgeous I don't think it would matter... and it's really quite cheap, considering. The summers are shorter and cooler, but with the city nearby we wouldn't have to worry so much about growing our own food in the beginning...
I really wish I had friends.
LOOK AT THIS LAND!
I really can't afford it with the whole unemployment thing meaning I probably won't be able to get a loan and all, but if I knew a handful of others I would definitely go for this. Agricultural land, nature trails, 25 minutes from a decent-size city... we could build cabins and live like pioneers!
85 acres is more than enough for everyone to have a piece. It would be cold as hell in the winter, but it's all so gorgeous I don't think it would matter... and it's really quite cheap, considering. The summers are shorter and cooler, but with the city nearby we wouldn't have to worry so much about growing our own food in the beginning...
I really wish I had friends.
Odo
Banned
I'm obsessed with buying land in the Arctic.
If global warming continues, and it probably will, then by 2040 or so the land up there will be worth a fortune... and right now it's relatively cheap. Oh yeah, and the fact that it will be the best overall place to live is a huge part of it too... but then, when things get really bad the government would probably just take it from me.
And another problem is that I don't have enough money to afford very much of it... or hell, even any of it if I want to live. Not having a job is so shitty. I really want to take out a loan and buy a property... actually, a lot of property. Mostly just because I want to survive, but profiting would be nice too... and I don't think it will be so easy when people realize that this is actually happening and that it's going to be really awful for a lot of people.
Seriously, that property up there is going to be worth 10s of millions by 2040... and all I can do is look at it and wish I could buy it.
If global warming continues, and it probably will, then by 2040 or so the land up there will be worth a fortune... and right now it's relatively cheap. Oh yeah, and the fact that it will be the best overall place to live is a huge part of it too... but then, when things get really bad the government would probably just take it from me.
And another problem is that I don't have enough money to afford very much of it... or hell, even any of it if I want to live. Not having a job is so shitty. I really want to take out a loan and buy a property... actually, a lot of property. Mostly just because I want to survive, but profiting would be nice too... and I don't think it will be so easy when people realize that this is actually happening and that it's going to be really awful for a lot of people.
Seriously, that property up there is going to be worth 10s of millions by 2040... and all I can do is look at it and wish I could buy it.
Odo
Banned
The Man Who Lives Without Money
^This is one of the most inspiring things I have ever heard. I love the idea of 'becoming the change you want to see in the world'-- and unlike Ghandi, he actually is doing something good without benefiting personally from it.
I would imagine the reward for doing something like that would be waking up every single day and knowing you truly are a good person.
^This is one of the most inspiring things I have ever heard. I love the idea of 'becoming the change you want to see in the world'-- and unlike Ghandi, he actually is doing something good without benefiting personally from it.
I would imagine the reward for doing something like that would be waking up every single day and knowing you truly are a good person.
Odo
Banned
Since last night I've been staring at this piece of land I've found up north... last night I could hardly even sleep because I just kept thinking about it. It seems like one of the most exciting places ever... and I can actually afford it.
It's on a smallish lake connected by a creek to another slightly larger lake... the lakes are apparently clean so it would be a good source of drinking water. You can also canoe or kayak for hours in the summertime. There are only two other people who own land on the lake, so there are a lot of fish and animals, and soooo much solitude.
The crazy thing is that you can't get there by car-- you can either take the train and ask them to drop you and your canoe off at the lake, or you would need to get a plane to drop you off, and then schedule a pickup when you were ready to leave. I guess it's kind of disturbing that the nearest city is over 4 hours away (just because there's no hospital nearby), and it's literally the middle of nowhere... but yeah, it sounds like paradise to me right now. I mean, I could buy it now, live in a modest apartment, work online, then go there every summer and slowly work towards living there full-time... probably over the next 10 years or so, however long it took me to wean myself off of modern society.
I think I would try to set up solar panels, an underground greenhouse... and I could live in a tipi. I wouldn't want to do it alone, though... I think I would lose my mind out there alone because the winters are so cold and so long. But it's only 12km to the closest village... I could hike it on snowshoes if I had to. Still, I'm not sure anyone would want to go all that way with me... but yeah, at the very least it would be awesome for camping, and even if it didn't exactly make me a fortune, it would at least guard against inflation.
It's on a smallish lake connected by a creek to another slightly larger lake... the lakes are apparently clean so it would be a good source of drinking water. You can also canoe or kayak for hours in the summertime. There are only two other people who own land on the lake, so there are a lot of fish and animals, and soooo much solitude.
The crazy thing is that you can't get there by car-- you can either take the train and ask them to drop you and your canoe off at the lake, or you would need to get a plane to drop you off, and then schedule a pickup when you were ready to leave. I guess it's kind of disturbing that the nearest city is over 4 hours away (just because there's no hospital nearby), and it's literally the middle of nowhere... but yeah, it sounds like paradise to me right now. I mean, I could buy it now, live in a modest apartment, work online, then go there every summer and slowly work towards living there full-time... probably over the next 10 years or so, however long it took me to wean myself off of modern society.
I think I would try to set up solar panels, an underground greenhouse... and I could live in a tipi. I wouldn't want to do it alone, though... I think I would lose my mind out there alone because the winters are so cold and so long. But it's only 12km to the closest village... I could hike it on snowshoes if I had to. Still, I'm not sure anyone would want to go all that way with me... but yeah, at the very least it would be awesome for camping, and even if it didn't exactly make me a fortune, it would at least guard against inflation.
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Odo
Banned
Well, that one is no good.
I asked the guy for maps and the land is next to a swamp... which means insects galore all summer, and there wouldn't be a lot of options in the winter... it would be really hard to get in and out.
Northern Ontario is notoriously bad for mosquitoes and black flies, and living between a creek and a massive swamp would be unbearable. Plus, the land is at the same level as the lake and slopes down into the swamp.
BUT
There is another piece of land that is more expensive-- $225,000, actually. BUT it's almost 300 acres, which would ideally be split 5 ways. The best part is that it's all lakefront and islands! Divided 5 ways ($45,000 each), we would each be able to have our own beaches and islands. That's a completely reasonable price.
The summer is short up there, but the days are long... sunset would probably be around 10pm at the height of summer. Hanging out on a private island for the longest days of the year would kick so much ***.
It's remote, but there's an airport that you could walk to... it's just over a mile away. It might be hard to get up there, though... maybe even a few days. But yeah, if you have a two week vacation it would still be incredible. And land like that would at least keep pace with inflation... but probably go up in value with global warming, water shortages, etc.
I want to ask the seller if they would consider divvying this up... not sure why they want to sell this as a single package. But yeah, in the meantime, if you're reading this and find this exciting, please contact me.
I asked the guy for maps and the land is next to a swamp... which means insects galore all summer, and there wouldn't be a lot of options in the winter... it would be really hard to get in and out.
Northern Ontario is notoriously bad for mosquitoes and black flies, and living between a creek and a massive swamp would be unbearable. Plus, the land is at the same level as the lake and slopes down into the swamp.
BUT
There is another piece of land that is more expensive-- $225,000, actually. BUT it's almost 300 acres, which would ideally be split 5 ways. The best part is that it's all lakefront and islands! Divided 5 ways ($45,000 each), we would each be able to have our own beaches and islands. That's a completely reasonable price.
The summer is short up there, but the days are long... sunset would probably be around 10pm at the height of summer. Hanging out on a private island for the longest days of the year would kick so much ***.
It's remote, but there's an airport that you could walk to... it's just over a mile away. It might be hard to get up there, though... maybe even a few days. But yeah, if you have a two week vacation it would still be incredible. And land like that would at least keep pace with inflation... but probably go up in value with global warming, water shortages, etc.
I want to ask the seller if they would consider divvying this up... not sure why they want to sell this as a single package. But yeah, in the meantime, if you're reading this and find this exciting, please contact me.
Odo
Banned
I've been reading the first Foxfire book.
Foxfire is actually a chronicle of southern 'mountain' culture from the early 20th/late 19th century (I think). Basically, it's a 'how-to' book for self-sustained living... they have everything! Preserving fruits and vegetables, recipes, games... and I was up really late last night reading about how to build a cabin.
I guess I was thinking I could live in a high-quality teepee but maybe I'm just being naive... a cabin would be so much nicer. The only problem is that I would probably need to bring in concrete or mortar or something... and rocks. All of this land I'm looking into is so far away and spread out... and I have no idea what kind of resources they have there.
The first plot of land I was looking at was extremely flat and low... though the land next to it was even lower, so I'm not sure if the meltwater would run off or not... being between a lake and a swamp can't be a good thing, though.
I'm thinking I might have to hold out for something really cheap and closer to civilization...
Foxfire is actually a chronicle of southern 'mountain' culture from the early 20th/late 19th century (I think). Basically, it's a 'how-to' book for self-sustained living... they have everything! Preserving fruits and vegetables, recipes, games... and I was up really late last night reading about how to build a cabin.
I guess I was thinking I could live in a high-quality teepee but maybe I'm just being naive... a cabin would be so much nicer. The only problem is that I would probably need to bring in concrete or mortar or something... and rocks. All of this land I'm looking into is so far away and spread out... and I have no idea what kind of resources they have there.
The first plot of land I was looking at was extremely flat and low... though the land next to it was even lower, so I'm not sure if the meltwater would run off or not... being between a lake and a swamp can't be a good thing, though.
I'm thinking I might have to hold out for something really cheap and closer to civilization...
Odo
Banned
I'm still obsessed with the property on the lake, despite its flaws.
Yes, it will be buggy... but I think if I build the cabin near the lake, the breeze will repel a lot of them. I'm still worried about flooding because it's still a low point next to the lowest point in about a 20k radius... which isn't reassuring. All of this global warming shit has made me paranoid but I don't think that's unreasonable.
I was thinking I could either build a dam/levee or even create a little hill and put my cabin on that... all with a shovel and a wheelbarrow. Yep, that's going to take a really long time. Ideally the cabin would be earth-sheltered too because of how gd cold it is up there... which means building a hill behind it, which means a LOT of time and energy.
I was thinking I would probably build the cabin normally, but with a waterproof concrete 'shell' around it... and then earth around the shell. The shell would need to be pretty tight to the outer walls. Maybe it would be better to build the shell first, and then the cabin inside it. But considering I want the north wall to be 2 stories, that's going to be a lot of concrete... and plywood to set it all up.
Stone would be soooo much nicer. I would totally just build the whole cabin out of stone if I could. I keep picturing it sort of like a root cellar or barn-type foundation... it isn't too hard to find old barns that need to be torn down, but even if I could get the stone for free, no road access is a pain in the *** for moving materials. I just wish I knew what I was dealing with... there could even be stones there, but finding enough could be hard. I know nothing about working with stone... and without serious equipment or electricity I seriously cannot imagine it.
I have this plan to put a greenhouse on the second story... the north side will be part of the concrete (stone) wall buried in the earth, and then I'll angle the roof 45 degrees to the south and cover it in windows... it will double as a skylight! The problem being it won't be as protected from the cold. Well, unless I buried the whole thing on every side except north... but wow is that a lot of earth to move with just a shovel and wheelbarrow. I might just need a gd helicopter to build this million dollar cheap-*** natural living cabin.
I'd also like to have a chicken fortress on the east side, probably on stilts... it would have to be humane though. My neighbors had chickens and they couldn't even give away all of the eggs they laid... but they stuffed them in this horrible depressing dark box with no space and I felt so so sorry for them. There's no way I could do that to my chickens!
I guess the rest of the property isn't as important as the spot with my cabin, but moving that much earth just seems like it could have some seriously unpredictable effects on the land... I have so many worries and I haven't even bought the land yet!
Yes, it will be buggy... but I think if I build the cabin near the lake, the breeze will repel a lot of them. I'm still worried about flooding because it's still a low point next to the lowest point in about a 20k radius... which isn't reassuring. All of this global warming shit has made me paranoid but I don't think that's unreasonable.
I was thinking I could either build a dam/levee or even create a little hill and put my cabin on that... all with a shovel and a wheelbarrow. Yep, that's going to take a really long time. Ideally the cabin would be earth-sheltered too because of how gd cold it is up there... which means building a hill behind it, which means a LOT of time and energy.
I was thinking I would probably build the cabin normally, but with a waterproof concrete 'shell' around it... and then earth around the shell. The shell would need to be pretty tight to the outer walls. Maybe it would be better to build the shell first, and then the cabin inside it. But considering I want the north wall to be 2 stories, that's going to be a lot of concrete... and plywood to set it all up.
Stone would be soooo much nicer. I would totally just build the whole cabin out of stone if I could. I keep picturing it sort of like a root cellar or barn-type foundation... it isn't too hard to find old barns that need to be torn down, but even if I could get the stone for free, no road access is a pain in the *** for moving materials. I just wish I knew what I was dealing with... there could even be stones there, but finding enough could be hard. I know nothing about working with stone... and without serious equipment or electricity I seriously cannot imagine it.
I have this plan to put a greenhouse on the second story... the north side will be part of the concrete (stone) wall buried in the earth, and then I'll angle the roof 45 degrees to the south and cover it in windows... it will double as a skylight! The problem being it won't be as protected from the cold. Well, unless I buried the whole thing on every side except north... but wow is that a lot of earth to move with just a shovel and wheelbarrow. I might just need a gd helicopter to build this million dollar cheap-*** natural living cabin.
I'd also like to have a chicken fortress on the east side, probably on stilts... it would have to be humane though. My neighbors had chickens and they couldn't even give away all of the eggs they laid... but they stuffed them in this horrible depressing dark box with no space and I felt so so sorry for them. There's no way I could do that to my chickens!
I guess the rest of the property isn't as important as the spot with my cabin, but moving that much earth just seems like it could have some seriously unpredictable effects on the land... I have so many worries and I haven't even bought the land yet!
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Odo
Banned
I keep going over and over in my head how the hell I would build a year-round home out there using only a bare minimum of tools.
I came up with this idea to build a cabin base, and then do it more like an ancient pit house/tipi on top. I'm not sure how high the base would be... maybe just a simple frame with walls around 4 or 5 feet high before turning into a pyramid.
I could build an open firepit out of stones in the middle and ventilate the thing like a tipi... with drafts at the bottom pushing the air upwards through smoke flaps/a hole in the top. And then I would cover the walls with canvas to direct the draft from the bottom.
It might be dangerous having an open fire in a wood cabin, though! I guess I would need to build a proper hearth... not sure how I would be able to do that if my floor is logs. I'm also not sure how I could possibly build a comfortable floor with no buildings in the area and no way to transport boards. I'm not exactly great at making my own boards... I guess again, maybe in the winter I could take a snowmobile across the ice with a trailer. I guess I could chink the gaps between the joists in my wall in the winter.
I was thinking I could insulate the walls with cattails from the swamp... I would need a royal ****load of them but it's possible... I was also giving a degree of thought to using earthbags outside the 'cabin' part for extra insulation. Then I would worry about ventilation... my windows would be pretty low or somehow on the ceiling. How am I even going to have windows if I can't move materials? I guess windows aren't heavy... but finding them nearby when there are only a few scattered towns up there will be difficult.
Maybe it would just be easier and better overall to buy a regular tipi...
I came up with this idea to build a cabin base, and then do it more like an ancient pit house/tipi on top. I'm not sure how high the base would be... maybe just a simple frame with walls around 4 or 5 feet high before turning into a pyramid.
I could build an open firepit out of stones in the middle and ventilate the thing like a tipi... with drafts at the bottom pushing the air upwards through smoke flaps/a hole in the top. And then I would cover the walls with canvas to direct the draft from the bottom.
It might be dangerous having an open fire in a wood cabin, though! I guess I would need to build a proper hearth... not sure how I would be able to do that if my floor is logs. I'm also not sure how I could possibly build a comfortable floor with no buildings in the area and no way to transport boards. I'm not exactly great at making my own boards... I guess again, maybe in the winter I could take a snowmobile across the ice with a trailer. I guess I could chink the gaps between the joists in my wall in the winter.
I was thinking I could insulate the walls with cattails from the swamp... I would need a royal ****load of them but it's possible... I was also giving a degree of thought to using earthbags outside the 'cabin' part for extra insulation. Then I would worry about ventilation... my windows would be pretty low or somehow on the ceiling. How am I even going to have windows if I can't move materials? I guess windows aren't heavy... but finding them nearby when there are only a few scattered towns up there will be difficult.
Maybe it would just be easier and better overall to buy a regular tipi...