Unknown Sample

[Odo]

That sounds like a nice idea. Is it cheap to buy land in Canada?

Have you heard of vipassana?

Well, I've been looking into tax sales where people have allowed the taxes on their land to build up so it gets confiscated by the government and sold off for a really cheap price.... the problem with that is that sometimes the reason it has been confiscated is because the taxes are really high.

I've seen land in Northern Manitoba on sale for fairly cheap... the problem there being that Manitoba has >100,000 lakes so I think a lot of them might be on flood plains or something. But I don't know. Even if the land is cheap there are sometimes problems with it being really remote and expensive to buy food and stuff.

If you and your boyfriend and some friends wanted to move to Canada I would marry all of you so you could have citizenship and we could start a goat farm and live in small cabins... we could take turns with the goats and greenhouses and we could have art shows and a big wooden museum made of a burned out barn frame, scraps of wood and discarded culverts.

Let me know what you think!
:thumbup:

And no I haven't heard of vipassana-- what's that?

 

[Odo]

I think I have Visual Snow.

I know I have dry eyes but I didn't realize that the tiny dots I'm constantly seeing aren't just a normal thing... do most people see solid colours perfectly? Maybe when I was young I also saw solid colours with no interference or halos or starbursts or whatever.

But yeah, it feels like a constant sort of electrical disturbance in my field of vision... even when I close my eyes I see lights swirling around and or at least little pin*****s. I can't even remember when it started... maybe just recently. I thought it was caused by the computer or just dry eyes, but apparently it's more than that.

I think they have treatments but I don't want to see anyone until my health care coverage comes back... in October.

 

[Odo]

Another thing:

I was just watching TV with my mom. It was one of those daytime 'women's shows' with psychics and people who talk about pillows and cakes and shit. A guy was going on and on about how to solve the problem of puffy eyes-- apparently, it's ****ing cucumbers. And he said it like it was such a huge amazing serious deal, and talked about going to a spa for a retreat from the high-stakes world of makeup and how they always used cucumbers there, so yeah, obviously his extremely scientific conclusion was that cucumbers are the answer. YOUR LIFE WILL BE PERFECT IF YOU USE CUCUMBERS ON UR EYES.

Every time I see something like that I feel so much burning hatred for society at large. Seriously, feminists fought for equal pay and equal rights for women, and yet we still have people making a fortune by recommending cucumbers for puffy eyes.

I have a recommendation-- stop trying to be perfect and if someone harasses you about your puffy eyes tell them to **** off.

I can't stop thinking about the reporter who asked Gene Roddenberry about Captain Picard's bald head:

"Wouldn't there be a cure for baldness in the future?'

And Gene Roddenberry, brilliant socialist visionary that he is, responded:

"In the future, no one would care."

I want that socialist utopia to occur SO BADLY... but there are always going to be people like cucumber guy, standing in the way of progress, distracting people with insignificant shit that just wastes everyone's time and encourages us to have crappy value systems and spend money on trying to make ourselves into walking talking billboards so that other people can look at us and buy the same clothes and diets and apparel as us. It's like this endless toxic stream of consumerist bullshit poisoning our souls... it has to end, but I'm afraid of what would need to happen first.

 

[coyote]

what if everyone were free to think and behave the way you felt they should but chose NOT to?

would you force them to think and behave the way you wanted?

how is that a utopia for anyone else but you?

 

[Odo]

what if everyone were free to think and behave the way you felt they should but chose NOT to?

would you force them to think and behave the way you wanted?

how is that a utopia for anyone else but you?

I really don't think I'm alone in thinking that our values are messed up and I'm definitely not the first person to think that socialism is a good idea. This isn't about me AT ALL, and using 'you' as if I'm in direct opposition to the majority on this one isn't the right way to make your point.

At any given time, in any given society, you will find people with a wide-ranging variety of beliefs... most of which are irrelevant, because only a very tiny margin of those beliefs will ever be given valid representation in government. Most of the time, people abandon reason and very valid opinions because they're not realistic given the options provided... it's not that the majority agrees, it's that they are only ever capable of choosing the lesser of two evils. I would even say that most people don't really care as long as they can go through their routines day after day and not have to worry about being bombed... as long as you can give them that and maybe a few luxuries to placate them, they won't care about what values their society has.

And freedom is a complete myth... you're not free now-- nobody is. Your personality doesn't come from some unique and ultra-special part of you that is impervious to social conditioning. Most of the decisions you make are a direct result of the society you're living in... you buy what everyone else buys and you do what everyone else does, even if you hate it, because you need to belong, and because you don't know or care to know anything else.

It wouldn't matter if our value system was more about focusing on who people are instead of what they look like... if enough people thought it was important, then it would be more important to everyone.

And I can't believe that anyone would defend anyone's right to be a superficial douche based on 'freedom'-- freedom has to be one of the most meaningless terms ever, especially when it's used politically.

 

[Odo]

I joined this site for 'employment network' and so far it seems like people are just adding me to their networks so they can see what I'm doing and probably compare it to what they're doing, which is not a good feeling, because it seems like a lot of people I used to know are now more successful than me.

One guy is a law clerk for his state office, one girl is still working in advertising and is now a senior writer probably making around 100k/year (I dropped out), and one guy is working at a university in China, teaching economics. There was another girl I used to know who just viewed me and I thought that was creepy considering I had been on the thing for less than 24 hours.

I really hope that they can't see what I'm doing now-- I feel inadequate. I guess it's kind of exciting that I was living abroad but I also think there's a sort of stigma to it because it's supposed to be just a gap year break sort of thing and not a career... and it's basically a dead end financially and socially.

I hate social networking in general but I feel like the whole point of the site is to just have people spying on each other and trying to see if they ended up better than others. Maybe I think that because I think like that.

But to be fair, it really doesn't seem to be the horrible struggle I was anticipating to get a job. I know it's all entry-level but yeah, I just talked to someone today who said I could easily get a starting position at the bank if I wanted. It doesn't pay well AT ALL, but at least there are opportunities for advancement and it's fairly cheap to live in my town. Still, I'd imagine there's a high turnover rate and bottom line living here would make it really hard to get my film going... and without that, I have basically nothing. I CAN'T just end up stuck in a dead end boring job just getting by and NOT working towards my film goal... and this ****ing town is a cultural vacuum... I just got out of a cultural vacuum and I have no desire to get back into one. Maybe there's some sort of hidden community of artists and actors, but I doubt it... or if there is, I don't think it's here.

Then again, I noticed there was a store on the main street that was selling a Canon 5D mark iii, which is actually THE independent film camera right now. Maybe it would be a decent plan to go in there and ask them about making an indie film in my home town... that would actually kick so much ***, because chances are people would want to be in it.

I might have to alter things AGAIN, but I think the basic story could carry over if I tweaked it a bit. And it would be nice to be near my parents and my peeps from childhood. When I was in high school a guy came in and showed us the indie film that he made here-- he got permission to shoot in the hospital and used a lot of teachers from my school as extras and doctors and 'board members'. I'd imagine most people would just be flattered to be in the thing... and it would be awesome to have some sort of connection to the community.

I'm really not sure where I would go or who I would ask about such a thing... but I'd imagine people would be much more supportive here than they would be elsewhere...

 

[Odo]

I've been reading Carl Jung's 'Man and his Symbols'... I can't believe I hadn't read it before. It was one of those books that I bought thinking 'yeah, I should own this' and then never really looked at in depth.

It has a lot of material/images/mythological and psychological characters and stories that fit well with my script... I stayed up until 3 AM last night in a fit of inspiration, working things into my script. I ended up with more of a Hero's Journey structure but with a twist ending... and I think it ended up a lot better than it would have if I had just set out to write a particular kind of story in a particular kind of way... it now has a really great mythical quality to it that I love.

I'm excited to start filming it too... I've been thinking about locations around here where I could shoot some of the scenes. It's easier to do that here because I know the area... but it probably won't happen until next year now... it's going to take a while to get everything together and I want to have different seasons in it...

 

[Odo]

Yep... it sure is awesome being unemployed and posting on this deserted site twice a day!

After about a week, I just closed my account on linkedin. I really don't think the people who found me were interested in meeting up-- it was just about comparing their lives to mine in a 'who's more successful' sort of way. They would just look at me and then not say anything-- it made me nervous and I felt horrible... so I deleted it. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but I kept getting recommendations about other people coming up from 10 years ago and I was afraid that they would click on my profile and try to contact me when I really don't think I could face them or feel good about talking about what I've been doing with my life.

I DO NOT want to have to work for someone who needs to look at a facebook or linkedin profile before they hire me... the whole thing just creeps me out and pisses me off. I know it's not a battle that I'm going to win and apparently it's normal for people to give out their facebook to their employers, but I legitimately think that any society where sharing information that way is normal is just not something I want to be a part of. I don't think that the majority is right just because it's the majority...

 

[jc972]

Yep... it sure is awesome being unemployed and posting on this deserted site twice a day!

After about a week, I just closed my account on linkedin. I really don't think the people who found me were interested in meeting up-- it was just about comparing their lives to mine in a 'who's more successful' sort of way. They would just look at me and then not say anything-- it made me nervous and I felt horrible... so I deleted it. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but I kept getting recommendations about other people coming up from 10 years ago and I was afraid that they would click on my profile and try to contact me when I really don't think I could face them or feel good about talking about what I've been doing with my life.

I DO NOT want to have to work for someone who needs to look at a facebook or linkedin profile before they hire me... the whole thing just creeps me out and pisses me off. I know it's not a battle that I'm going to win and apparently it's normal for people to give out their facebook to their employers, but I legitimately think that any society where sharing information that way is normal is just not something I want to be a part of. I don't think that the majority is right just because it's the majority...

I've tried the online job finder place things and I've never had any luck. I write that I'm a career machinist looking to get into a different field and they all e-mail me saying "we have an excellent machining department"... Like they think I don't know how to do anything else. I've never had an employer or prospective employer inquire about a facebook profile, that seems a bit odd in a creepy kind of way. Work is work, private life is off limits in my book. Good luck in the job search :thumbup:

 

[Odo]

^Thanks man!

I also have that problem-- all of my experience is in things I don't want to do anymore... and I definitely agree that putting your resume on a site like that sort of pigeonholes you as being one specific thing... there's not a lot of room for explaining yourself.

 

[Alana.JPEG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by coyote View Post
what if everyone were free to think and behave the way you felt they should but chose NOT to?

would you force them to think and behave the way you wanted?

how is that a utopia for anyone else but you?
I really don't think I'm alone in thinking that our values are messed up and I'm definitely not the first person to think that socialism is a good idea. This isn't about me AT ALL, and using 'you' as if I'm in direct opposition to the majority on this one isn't the right way to make your point.

At any given time, in any given society, you will find people with a wide-ranging variety of beliefs... most of which are irrelevant, because only a very tiny margin of those beliefs will ever be given valid representation in government. Most of the time, people abandon reason and very valid opinions because they're not realistic given the options provided... it's not that the majority agrees, it's that they are only ever capable of choosing the lesser of two evils. I would even say that most people don't really care as long as they can go through their routines day after day and not have to worry about being bombed... as long as you can give them that and maybe a few luxuries to placate them, they won't care about what values their society has.

And freedom is a complete myth... you're not free now-- nobody is. Your personality doesn't come from some unique and ultra-special part of you that is impervious to social conditioning. Most of the decisions you make are a direct result of the society you're living in... you buy what everyone else buys and you do what everyone else does, even if you hate it, because you need to belong, and because you don't know or care to know anything else.

It wouldn't matter if our value system was more about focusing on who people are instead of what they look like... if enough people thought it was important, then it would be more important to everyone.

And I can't believe that anyone would defend anyone's right to be a superficial douche based on 'freedom'-- freedom has to be one of the most meaningless terms ever, especially when it's used politically.

I think that most people are not free and have little choice simply because they are easily manipulated by the media. I think being able to subjectively critique rather than being fed reality is true freedom. Is that a fascist thing to say?
Wouldn't it be nice to have democratic elections based on an educated debate that isn't filtered and distorted by people with their own selfish agenda? (Do you guys watch the wire)

I guess people believe they are free because they get to choose between the giant douche and the turd sandwich.

 

[Alana.JPEG]

Well, I've been looking into tax sales where people have allowed the taxes on their land to build up so it gets confiscated by the government and sold off for a really cheap price.... the problem with that is that sometimes the reason it has been confiscated is because the taxes are really high.

I've seen land in Northern Manitoba on sale for fairly cheap... the problem there being that Manitoba has >100,000 lakes so I think a lot of them might be on flood plains or something. But I don't know. Even if the land is cheap there are sometimes problems with it being really remote and expensive to buy food and stuff.

If you and your boyfriend and some friends wanted to move to Canada I would marry all of you so you could have citizenship and we could start a goat farm and live in small cabins... we could take turns with the goats and greenhouses and we could have art shows and a big wooden museum made of a burned out barn frame, scraps of wood and discarded culverts.

Let me know what you think!


And no I haven't heard of vipassana-- what's that?

That sounds sounds so nice. Me and Matt would talk about doing that. So land tax is expensive but rent is cheap? I have always wanted to go woofing in Italy to learn how to be self sufficient.

I mentioned vipassana because you were saying you wanted to see a counselor or psychologist but you couldn't afford to. Anyway I think that vipassana teaches you allot of the same methods that psychologists have taught me to use to help with social anxiety. I have personally found that these methods have been really useful.

Anyway Vipassana is meant to be this technique that Buddha taught people, which was also the same technique that he used to "reach enlightenment." Supposedly the technique was lost within most of asia but somehow maintained by Buddhists in Burma. Anyway it was eventually introduced back into India in the 60's (maybe) by Goenka (a Burmese man). Now there are centers everywhere which run 10 days courses. I guess they are infamous as you are required to not talk, look at people, read etc. I ended up doing the course last year, its free or you can give a donation. So in return you need to meditate all day. The meditations teach you how to I guess not react to sensation and be mindful of thoughts.

Its non-denominational and they always try to get across the idea that Buddha wasn't a godly figure but rather a teacher who was dedicated to this particular technique of vipassana. The word Vipassana means "to see things as they really are."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hz6VwkSJVY

 

[Odo]

^Thanks for that, Alana.

Land isn't really 'cheap' in Canada, but it's probably cheaper than in other countries because there's so much space-- up north where no one wants to live, it's kind of cheap... but there are probably going to be problems involved like flooding or especially distance... and of course rent would depend on where you were.

At tax sales they sell nice land (as in you own it, you don't rent it) auction-style and I think the general point is to get it really cheap and sell it to someone else for more money... most people don't actually live on the properties they buy.. I guess because the taxes could be high. I've seen beach front properties (on a small lake) on the tax sale website for a real steal, but I'd imagine you'd get killed with the taxes. But I honestly haven't owned land so I don't know what the taxes are like... but I suppose the rate would depend on where you live or how much your property is valued at.

...

I have come to the conclusion that I have zero motivation for getting a normal job. Maybe if I was married/involved then I would feel like 'hey yeah it's a shitty job, but I need to be a responsible adult to impress her and take her on dates and then eventually to support a family'... but as it stands, I mostly just feel like 'hey yeah, it's a shitty job, but I need to make money so I can buy things and then one day retire... but who really cares about that?'. It just feels empty, like it's not enough of a reason to live. I guess I shouldn't be writing it off and I might actually enjoy being around people again (unless I end up being the guy no one likes)... but yeah, I'm not so much feeling like there's much of a point to it all.

I've sent off some resumes and I have a meeting with a guy who knows a lot of people and has offered to help me out (this is the most promising lead so far), but I'm not expecting big things. I guess I'm expecting very modest things. I wouldn't mind getting a job in administration... it would play off of my last job without needing to get up in front of people all the time.

 

[Odo]

Yup... still no job.

I'm not expecting miracles, though, and I guess it's only been a little over a month of looking. And not even looking for anything in particular, just applying to random shit with no sense of what I actually want to do.

I've been sort of going around and every time I see someone who almost definitely has a house, a car, a marriage and kids I think to myself 'wow, I've really fallen behind'. A lot of people are making more money than me... I would guess most of the people I went to school with are. I feel like maybe I've been wasting a lot of time. I know I can always fall back on the travel experiences, but yeah... most of it has been something of a waste.

But the thing is, I don't really want a house or kids. I might want to get married someday, but not unless I meet someone good... and I don't want to not be able to afford to go places and do the things I want to do. I know that's selfish, and part of me thinks I'd actually be an alright dad... but yeah, the older I get it seems the less I want kids of my own.

Whenever I go into public with my parents, my mom keeps pointing out women to me... and my god, do they ever look old. I don't know if it's just living in Asia or being so isolated for so long, but I'm having a hard time identifying myself with people who might be the same age as me... I know I'm not 25 anymore but yeah, it's hard to get used to it all.

And I know this is going to sound absolutely awful, but there's just no way I'm going to end up with some short, frumpy woman with bad teeth and no sense of style, who looks like she has had a couple of kids already and could easily be mistaken for being in her mid 40s because she hasn't been taking care of herself. I mean, yeah, I'm not 25 and I don't look 25, but I definitely don't think I look 40.

And even though I know I'm no catch with the painfully low self esteem and lack of a job and personality disorders and all, I'd like the person I date to at least be able to go jogging with me and not fall behind if I want to go hiking in the mountains. I'm not saying I'm an Adonis or anything but yeah... I feel like my mom is slapping me in the face with this shit. Spending time with them in general has always been pretty damaging to my esteem... I need to get out of here-- I miss my independence, and living at home makes me feel like a loser.

One more thing-- today I went to a wine tasting with my parents and the woman who was serving it all just made me so nervous. I hate holding glasses and cups in general while standing... and this woman was just so outgoing and upbeat I knew that she was going to say something to me and I knew I wasn't going to be able to respond with any confidence... so I sort of trembled and felt awful and tried to hide as best I could. I didn't want to make her feel bad and I didn't want her to know I have these issues... so instead I just hid away and let my parents handle the situation. It was pretty lame... I looked like a retarded teenager.

 

[Odo]

Today I talked to a career counsellor, and I feel worse than ever.

I don't think that's what is supposed to happen, but it is what did happen. I can't really explain it... I talked to her for a bit and then she gave me some ideas about what to do, but every time I looked into these things it was like hitting a wall or something.

We got to talking about online writing and such... and I looked into it and it just seems like everyone who is doing that has been doing it for a long time and has been involved in things I could never do or be involved in... I don't know how I can start in something like that because I've been actively cutting myself off from so many people over all of this time, and every time I think about trying to get back in touch with them I feel horrible...

She seemed to be big on building a 'personal brand', but I feel like I have nothing and looking into how other people promote themselves and everything they have done just makes me ashamed of myself and inadequate.

When I was talking to her I seriously got to the point where I wanted to hang up on her just to make her stop. I didn't know how to end the conversation and I felt like I couldn't give the proper answers to what she was saying... I did tell her some things but it was just so hard to follow everything and process everything she was saying. I really wanted to be a good listener and respond and do everything right, and maybe I did... I don't know, but I still feel awful about it all.

Finally the conversation just completely died out and I said a really awkward goodbye... I should have been nicer about it, I feel like maybe I cut her off too soon or something. I really want to be grateful because I didn't have to pay (a family friend was helping me) and such, but right now I mostly just want to get these people out of my life so they don't find out that I have issues, because then I'll just be lost.

I just feel so unbearably exhausted... so many people have been so nice in trying to help and show me opportunities and such, and I'm definitely not blaming them and I really don't want to come off as entitled or rude, but I still don't know what to do and no matter how much I want to do the right thing and feel grateful and express that gratitude, I mostly just want them all to go away and leave me alone so I can just sleep all day... and I don't want to have to explain to anyone how I really feel because it will seem weird and rude and everyone will just back off, and then I'll have to rely on pity and charity to survive.

I guess part of it is fear and part of it is maybe 'culture shock' or something... I don't know, but I don't think I could make it through a full day of work feeling like this. I definitely couldn't impress anyone or make a good impression like this.

Right after I talked to her I ate and then fell asleep for 2 hours, then woke up feeling horrible and depressed and guilty... and just generally depressed and lacking energy. Maybe it was my lunch that made me feel like that.

The other day I talked to a guy at the bank about my finances and I could barely talk to the receptionist at all. I couldn't make eye contact or hold my head up and I felt twitchy. I seriously was so nervous and weird that I could hardly even stand up straight. I was embarrassed that I was like that, and I don't know how I could possibly appear confident in any kind of interview. I guess at least I'm only like that when people try to interact with me and not just walking down the street randomly... so it could be worse, but yeah... not feeling so great about it all. But then, actually the other day I did feel pretty bad when I was just walking down the street randomly. I don't know how I'm ever going to get to the point where I feel capable of doing normal things.

I probably should go to a psychiatrist and try to get some medication or something, but living here makes me dependent on my parents and it's harder to hide things from them... and I don't want them to be involved in that... I don't want to have that extra burden of having to explain everything to them and having them ask questions and be involved in things.

Everything just seems so heavy right now... I don't even think it's my attitude so much as some sort of biochemical thing that maybe is being triggered by the weather or the season or something. I know I can do things and I know a negative attitude isn't going to help me, but yeah... I just can't focus on anything except I guess this.

 

[Odo]

My sister and her husband are coming for Thanksgiving.

I really hope she doesn't say anything about my living at home with no job. I've avoided talking to her because we have a history of being competitive and even though I don't even really know her at this point, what I remember of her is someone who was only happy when she felt like she was doing better in life than me... which she currently is. I REALLY don't need someone either

a) rubbing it in my face and going ha ha ha

b) pretending to be concerned about how I'm falling behind, not as happy as she is... because that shit isn't genuine concern, it's about making herself feel better for having the upper hand.

c) assuming I'm not trying or just lazy.

I honestly don't care about how she's doing... I'm not really happy for her because when I went to see her last February, she was absolutely unbearable and seemed to keep pushing me to 'get out there and do something' in the area without her actually coming along. I spent most of the time not even talking to her or her husband, and when we did it was awkward and dull... or we just watched TV. I felt so incredibly out of place and regretted ever going.

At the end of it she basically admitted that my coming there was a burden-- even though I hadn't seen her AT ALL in almost 3 years, and I spent well over $2000 to fly all the way there, pay for hotels, etc.

Sufficed to say, I will NOT be returning... probably ever. She never once thought to come and see me where I was, and I did that because I didn't want to fall out of touch... not because I actually enjoy spending time with her or had my heart set on going, but because I thought it was the right thing to do because we're family. But it was so shitty... and it reminded me of a lot of other times I've gone to see her and she's been just really cruel.

Most of the time I don't really care how she is... I guess because she isn't really in my life at all, but whenever I see her it just causes me anxiety... I think that if I wasn't unemployed right now it might be different but yeah, REALLY not looking forward to it. My family can be alright whenever we're not all together, but as soon as all 4 of us are there, it's a guaranteed nightmare... the ****ed up thing is that my parents always seem to think it's a wonderful thing to have everyone together, but it never ever is and we always leave feeling worse about everything.

I doubt my negative attitude is helping, but I realllly hope that their time here passes quickly...

 

[Alana.JPEG]

thats sad. Were you ever close to your sister?

I always thought my brother was annoyed with me and was acting kind of mean. But then I found out that it was his wife that was annoyed (which I kind of suspected because she would become really passive aggressive all of a sudden) and he would get a grilling from her, so it stressed him out when I was there.

 

[Odo]

I've been listening to cheesy soft rock from the 70s, and I made this mix:

http://www.mediafire.
com/download/9jr1smu91s6u2ck/Soft_Rock_Favorites.zip

Nothing else quite hits the spot in the same way right now.

 

[Odo]

I've been learning HTML, and I have to say-- I really wish I had done this earlier. It's not so difficult-- repetitive, but not so difficult. I haven't heard anything from any of the jobs I've applied for... so yeah, I figured I might as well try to upgrade my computer skills.

My goal for the next few months is to learn Javascript and such, and build a forum... well at least get some sort of website going. I don't think it will be an SA forum necessarily, but some kind of forum. Maybe like an SA dating forum... that simultaneously teaches the socially retarded some semblance of social skills and maybe forces them to exercise self-control or something. Like I could have basic guides to social interaction. LOL... yep, that won't make people feel stupid at all. But yeah, just in case your problem is actually your attitude/social skills and not actual anxiety, then it could be like an environment that encourages positive interaction somehow.

But I guess that's still a long way off-- I'm not sure if they're teaching web development in depth in high schools now or if heaps of people know about this and I'm just oblivious or not... I think around here I might be able to make some money doing this. And I won't even have to talk to people very much.

In other news, I am working on script idea number 10 or so. I have scrapped the others for various reasons... they were either really boring or had no narrative drive or room for interesting characters... or they were going to be too expensive.

My current script is a story that's sort of a combination of Tideland (that messed up Gilliam film that everyone hated) with Wizard Of Oz and Fight Club and I guess echoes of David Lynch and especially the Vincent Ward film The Navigator... so that's a lot of different influences but it does all come together in a story that makes sense to me and also has room for interesting ideas and concepts done cheaply, mostly in the editing stage.

Still, I think the reason it's so daunting is because there's so much entertainment out there and people have gotten really picky and demanding about it... a lot more than they were when I was younger. It's a super enormous challenge to not be too obvious because every story has to have twists and stuff to keep people engaged, and they're so used to seeing twists that there aren't too many ways to surprise people anymore. But maybe surprise/suspense isn't the point. I think the point of my movie is to be strange and slightly satirical about the plight of growing up in a seriously messed up economy with heartless, frivolous, desensitized people perpetuating the myth of progress under a sense of impending doom.

Anyways, I think it will be pretty fun to build websites... and then with my copywriting and film and teaching backgrounds, I think I could probably combine everything into a pretty decent service for young entrepreneurs and such...

 

[miserablecow]

Sounds great.