This Is NOT my life!!
- Thread starter Nl54
- Start date
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
The older I get, the more I "get" Bruce Springsteen songs.
This is not a good thing. Ha Ha
This is not a good thing. Ha Ha
Apersonalan
Well-known member
I'm still trying that's why it sucks so bad. I pull a stupid face in the mirror just to feel good.
Suicidal when realised it's all gone
Frustrated when realising it's STILL possibe.
Suicidal when realised it's all gone
Frustrated when realising it's STILL possibe.
chibiXphantom
Well-known member
yeah, i think that a lot..
i actually find my self thinking.. "this isn't me"
i've changed a lot. i'm not the only person who thinks so either. my cousins, family, boyfriend..they all say i'm not who i used to be. something about me has changed.
i'm not sure if that's good of bad..
i actually find my self thinking.. "this isn't me"
i've changed a lot. i'm not the only person who thinks so either. my cousins, family, boyfriend..they all say i'm not who i used to be. something about me has changed.
i'm not sure if that's good of bad..
coyote
Well-known member
the more i keep trying to retrace my steps
and figure out where i made the wrong turn,
the more i realize it wasn't just one wrong turn
i've made so many wrong turns that now i'm on a completely different path from where i started
there doesn't seem to be any way to get back
so the only choice is to keep moving forward from here
and figure out where i made the wrong turn,
the more i realize it wasn't just one wrong turn
i've made so many wrong turns that now i'm on a completely different path from where i started
there doesn't seem to be any way to get back
so the only choice is to keep moving forward from here
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
It'd be nice if I could kick-start my life over again from the point where the SA took root (about 16 for me), but life's kind of a rip-off in that way.
I can exchange a broken toaster for a new one, but unfortunately (in some ways) I'm stuck in the model I'm in, so I'll just have to work on it til it runs better.
Fantasizing about a different me is a huge waste of time, and we're all given the same amount of time here (not much), so getting over the SA is the first job. I helped myself out by going to a concert last night.
Didn't meet anyone, still felt spotlit, but not as much and I loosened up quite a bit more, actually forgetting once or twice that people paid money to watch the stage, not me
.
I can exchange a broken toaster for a new one, but unfortunately (in some ways) I'm stuck in the model I'm in, so I'll just have to work on it til it runs better.
Fantasizing about a different me is a huge waste of time, and we're all given the same amount of time here (not much), so getting over the SA is the first job. I helped myself out by going to a concert last night.
Didn't meet anyone, still felt spotlit, but not as much and I loosened up quite a bit more, actually forgetting once or twice that people paid money to watch the stage, not me
."It'd be nice if I could kick-start my life over again from the point where the SA took root (about 16 for me), but life's kind of a rip-off in that way. "
Ok, it's a little embarassing, but here it goes. My anxiety didn't start until I was around 22. I was with a girl, and everything was going well, until I wen't to stick my junk inside her. I was fully erect for the blowjob, but intercourse for some reason made me shrivel. I couldn't figure this out, because I had been with multiple women before and there was never a problem. I had a girlfriend at the time (shame on me) so I figured it might be a guilty concious thing. That being said, I did the same girl later on with a full erection and ejaculated. However, since then it seems that my self esteem is lowered, and I find myself getting nervous in everday situations, like simply going to hang out with a friend. It's strange how the mind works.
Ok, it's a little embarassing, but here it goes. My anxiety didn't start until I was around 22. I was with a girl, and everything was going well, until I wen't to stick my junk inside her. I was fully erect for the blowjob, but intercourse for some reason made me shrivel. I couldn't figure this out, because I had been with multiple women before and there was never a problem. I had a girlfriend at the time (shame on me) so I figured it might be a guilty concious thing. That being said, I did the same girl later on with a full erection and ejaculated. However, since then it seems that my self esteem is lowered, and I find myself getting nervous in everday situations, like simply going to hang out with a friend. It's strange how the mind works.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Isn't there a talking heads song about this.?
Kiwong
Well-known member
Isn't there a talking heads song about this.?
This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife.
Same at it ever was, same as it ever was.
freestylemonster
Banned
I mostly just think "I wish I had a different life" But honestly I love myself.
This may sound weird, but I sometimes think that if I didn't have SA and depression, I'd be the most amazing person ever! lol..
This may sound weird, but I sometimes think that if I didn't have SA and depression, I'd be the most amazing person ever! lol..
IGotSeoul
Well-known member
That can be a powerful realization.
What our life is, rather what we think it is, is ourselves and is not a full measurement of what life is or can be due to a highly personalized perspective. Only we have the power, in that particular matter, to change ourselves and thereby change the perspective of how we see the world through a reflective state of our being.