The truth!

[IGotSeoul]

After doing some research, I believe that it is an actual emotion of some sort, except it seems to fade and degenerate over the years. The once happy couples eventually stop caring about their significant other and consider them to be no different than roomates.

I agree that certain things fade over time, which may lead to separation emotionally or literally.

I'll share some divorce statistics after laying down some of the theory I've studied and wanted to post on the subject.

• Passionate vs. companionate

Passionate love is characterized by lust, desire, sexual/physical attraction, romance, and strong emotion. In most theoretical approaches it is considered irrational love (or as I like to call it prerational) because it is heavily fortified and driven by overwhelming emotion. Desire is not limited to just the physicality of another, but also aspects of oneself. One may desire the idea of having somebody, one may desire the thought, the event, the happening, fantasy romance, anything that puts one into a powerful emotional state. With such intense emotional investment comes consequences of rewarding affection (i.e. emotional highs, happiness) and/or despondence (i.e. anxiety, depression, anger), dependent on whether or not the shared feelings are reciprocated and continually mutual. Passionate love is theorized as fragile and lacking deeper interpersonal connections; waning (i.e. the fire dims), leading to feelings of realization and disillusionment (i.e. he was a completely different person). The feeling of passionate love encompasses the widest range of raw emotion.

Companionate love is characterized by affection, deep personal understanding, comfort, and selfless concern. In most theoretical approaches it is considered rational love. This type of love develops slowly (especially contrasting with passionate love) because it is heavily dependent on both parties growing with one another through shared experience and positive influence. It is often theorized that passionate love can sometimes turn into companionate love when the intense emotions of passionate love dims. It is often described as far less spontaneous and emotionally driven but with a greater sense of security and stability. The feeling of companionate love can be compared with being best friends.

• Triangular theory of love

Developed by Robert Sternberg, this theory breaks love down into three separate components.

• Intimacy (i.e. closeness, trust, friendship)
• Passion (i.e. desire, sexual attraction, romance)
• Commitment (i.e. mutual agreement and respect for decision)

The theory suggests that all types of loves, including non-loves, can be (I would think generally) formulated using these three main components.

Fatuous love and infatuation would be more aimed towards passionate love.

Companionate love and friendship would be more aimed towards companionate love.

Romantic love and consummate love suggests that both developed intimacy (i.e. closeness, trust, friendship) and passion (i.e. desire, sexual attraction, romance) can coexist, whether it be a stage or matured.

 

[Felgen]

love is real

you will know it when it happens

But then again, monogamy is not. This goes for both men and women...

 

[snowcream]

love is just a missunderstanding between two fools - whoever said that; they were probably right=D

 

[Death Rider]

Agreed.
Yet he failed to mention the pragmatical side of "love". It save money - two people sharing one home. That's great savings!
I guess we haven't developed any farther than when Freud lived. We are still shackled by tabus and rules. This is nature - males who get on top and females, who are gotten on top of.
If we try to prove that love exists, we have a mighty foe saying otherwise - evolution ;D
Scientists are trying to distinguish what love is and they come up with decades of different types... More that 50 as I remember. So usually we don't say the complete phrase. I love you might just as well mean I love f*****g you, or anything "fill in the blank" else.
ALSO, I would add that love is a beautiful myth for the ladies. Why is believing in it important to them?
I'd say - if not for love, they would have to come to terms with being used as a sex toy by their men. Men need to discharge. They have this primal urge, while women feel they have to carry out the young and raise them. Face it, women don't get blue-balls syndrome ;D
Alas... I still believe in marriage as in a neat way of splitting the work ant the bills

 

[A friend]

This brings up a question in my mind:

How come it is so strenuously difficult to find the right person? It seems that luck is entirely fictional in the dating world...for everyone.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Love- like all of our emotions is just a reaction of chemicals in our brains.
Love just happens to be the name for a specific reaction. I don't think it's wrong to strive to want to feel that reaction--
I don't think it's a 'myth'
That's like saying that depression is a myth-- or happiness is a myth.



Just ignore me, though. I have no idea what I'm talking about. haha

 

[Pyrophosphate]

Love- like all of our emotions is just a reaction of chemicals in our brains.
Love just happens to be the name for a specific reaction. I don't think it's wrong to strive to want to feel that reaction--
I don't think it's a 'myth'
That's like saying that depression is a myth-- or happiness is a myth.



Just ignore me, though. I have no idea what I'm talking about. haha

^What she said. Love is no more or less real than any other emotion.

I didn't vote because, while I agree with every point raised, I disagree with the interpretation.

 

[drganon]

I love my mom and other members of my biological family, but that's about it.To paraphrase Cameron Frye, I've never been in love, at least no ones ever been in love with me.

 

[chibiXphantom]

i highly disagree
there are many different kinds of love, but the desire to reproduce and advance a species isnt "love" thats just instinct.

there is Eros love, which is the physical attraction to someone and the "romantic" love

there is Philos love, which is the love you feel toward your friends. obviously not the same as eros, its more the "friends forever" type thing

and then there is Agape love, which is unconditional love. the kind of love where you would go out of your way to help someone even if you wont benefit. where you would literally die for someone. when no matter what they do, you still care deeply for them.

this last one, the Agape love, completely goes against what nomethinks said. i would be willing to die for my boyfriend. i wouldnt hesitate to risk my life for him. and what good would that do for the species?
all i want is his happiness, safety, and health. even if he were to leave me, id still feel this way for him.

what im trying to say is that love is much deeper than just physical attraction, sex, and instinct. its an emotional and spiritual connection

sorry for that >_>

 

[coyote]

9 people voted yes on the poll, and 21 people voted no.

At this moment, I can't really decide whether to vote yes or no.

What should I pick?

you should wait until you've experienced it for yourself

there is no reason to "decide" until then

because without direct experience,

there is no way of knowing

and any "decision" is meaningless

 

[A friend]

Hmm....I vote yes-

I won't go into extreme detail about it, it's the choice I'm making. That's what I'm choosing to believe now.

Whether someone has factual information on the subject, or information that is entirely false in every way, I choose to believe in what nomethinks has stated. That is the path I should be taking-
:|


----

i highly disagree
there are many different kinds of love, but the desire to reproduce and advance a species isnt "love" thats just instinct.

True.

there is Eros love, which is the physical attraction to someone and the "romantic" love"


there is Philos love, which is the love you feel toward your friends. obviously not the same as eros, its more the "friends forever" type thing

and then there is Agape love, which is unconditional love. the kind of love where you would go out of your way to help someone even if you wont benefit. where you would literally die for someone. when no matter what they do, you still care deeply for them.

this last one, the Agape love, completely goes against what nomethinks said. i would be willing to die for my boyfriend. i wouldnt hesitate to risk my life for him. and what good would that do for the species?
all i want is his happiness, safety, and health. even if he were to leave me, id still feel this way for him.

It is VERY rare to see that in anyone of both genders.

what im trying to say is that love is much deeper than just physical attraction, sex, and instinct. its an emotional and spiritual connection

You're probably the only one who actually feels that way about your special someone. I have not met one person in my entire life (of either gender) who was willing to do something like that for somebody.

Well, though your words are encouraging, I am not changing my mind. But thank you for your input.

sorry for that >_>

Why are you apologizing? You said/did nothing wrong.