The truth!

[A friend]

(scroll down to nomethinks)

Is love an illusion? - Yahoo! Answers

...

I was debating whether or not if love was a cultural myth made up by some fanatic centuries ago, and I found this...

Do you agree with this person?

 

[A friend]

EDIT:

Err, no, lack of control of myself

 

[BlueDays]

Yes I do agree with it. I have seen to much evidence throughout my life to believe otherwise.
I wish I didn't, it would be nice to be able to believe in the fairytale :/

 

[Kiwong]

Love is the Sundew of humanity. It will provide the sweetest nectar and the most beautiful display, only to kill you in the end.

Ouch and touche. I think he makes some good points, there are certianly some people making themselves quite miserable in their failed search for romantic love.

There's lots of other love to be found in the world and the things to love.

I love my pet cockatiel
I love nature and wildflowers
I love running
I love my idependence

That is enough love for me. I certainly feel less miserable now I've left those days of unrequited love behind me.

 

[A friend]

Love is the Sundew of humanity. It will provide the sweetest nectar and the most beautiful display, only to kill you in the end.

Ouch and touche. I think he makes some good points, there are certianly some people making themselves quite miserable in their failed search for romantic love.

There's lots of other love to be found in the world and the things to love.

I love my pet cockatiel
I love nature and wildflowers
I love running
I love my idependence

That is enough love for me. I certainly feel less miserable now I've left those days of unrequited love behind me.

Good wisdom, and just out of curiousity, how did you remove yourself from having the need for romantic love?

 

[rbecca]

I don't really think love is a mythe or some kind of.
But that could be because i've been in a serious,amazing relationship for 3 years.
Sure i've been through A's of exes to get to where i am now
Cheated on me,were angry because of everything etc.
But i laugh back at them now. I can't imagine a better relationship then the one i have now C:

I think that once you found true love, it's real.
And once you failed to love, or failed to be loved, in this way, you believe things such as it's a mythe.
When those exes cheated on me and stuff, i was sick of being in love myself. I couldn't imagine anything loveable in this world anymore.

 

[IGotSeoul]

I think that once you found true love, it's real.
And once you failed to love, or failed to be loved, in this way, you believe things such as it's a mythe.
When those exes cheated on me and stuff, i was sick of being in love myself. I couldn't imagine anything loveable in this world anymore.

What do you suppose differentiates true love from false love?

And what if a presumed true love falls apart, is it still true?

 

[Brian_leyva1]

“It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it”

 

[Apotheosis]

Based on his definition of what love is, yes I agree. "Love" as the concept is used in society does not exist - it is nothing greater than an instinct to mate and reproduce.

However, I still believe there exists something that is a sensation similar to what most people think love ought to be. I can't describe it - not exactly - but it's sort of... a sense of... oneness. It's a feeling of romantic (not chocolates and roses - I mean classical romanticism) absolution.

It's what I feel when I look into the sky and see a hundred thousand stars glittering like golden firebugs, or when I wander the woods at dawn and hear the world around me come alive as each creature is awakened by the touch of morning's light.

So yes, I agree that human love is an illusion, but I believe that love itself is a very real sensation - as a personal experience, rather than a social one.

 

[Kiwong]

Perhaps it is part biological? I'm almost 49. When I was younger I was probably more testosterone driven. That's horrible stuff that testosterone, I'm glad it doesn't drive me as much these days.

Appreciation of my idependence- idependence is a great thing, not to be underrated, or surrendered without good reason. This is a great time in my life. Sharing my time romantically with anyone has become a foreign concept. It simply doesn't register anymore. Why fix something that isn't broken?

Also I've entered into a time in my life where I've discovered things I love to do- particularly running. I have this freedom to be able to enjoy this time. I don't need to share that, not romantically or even platonically. I am more open to enjoying running on my own.

 

[rbecca]

What do you suppose differentiates true love from false love?

And what if a presumed true love falls apart, is it still true?

True love from false love,
Well, you know when you start to like someone, you get this butterfly feeling effect?
That is a true feeling, it's in love.
Then, when you're in a true relationship, it's not being in love anymore, it's loving another person for who he is, and the will to move on with him/her.
I call that true love. And there's not exactly a time until you love someone, instead of being in love, but i believe it takes a while to love someone, since you have to accept someone's bad habits and stuff too. It takes a while to find all those out.
And if you can accept them, then that also means you can deal with it,talk about it, make possible changes to make it all better.

If a presumed true love falls apart, then your feeling for the other one might have been true love, but it's probably not mutual.
If it was mutual, then sure it was true. There's a lot of factors in life that can destroy true love.

 

[A friend]

Perhaps it is part biological? I'm almost 49. When I was younger I was probably more testosterone driven. That's horrible stuff that testosterone, I'm glad it doesn't drive me as much these days.

Appreciation of my idependence- idependence is a great thing, not to be underrated, or surrendered without good reason. This is a great time in my life. Sharing my time romantically with anyone has become a foreign concept. It simply doesn't register anymore. Why fix something that isn't broken?

Also I've entered into a time in my life where I've discovered things I love to do- particularly running. I have this freedom to be able to enjoy this time. I don't need to share that, not romantically or even platonically. I am more open to enjoying running on my own.

It has multiplied neuroticism in my mind as I tried to forcefully remove it from my desires.

You have been given a gift, the freedom to remove a potential epidemic.

Unfortunately, not everyone has that luxury. Some can't help their involuntary need for that kind of compainionship.

You were given a gift, the gift of freedom from emotional impulses that consume millions of male human beings frequently.

EDIT: And female human beings too

 

[IGotSeoul]

True love from false love,
Well, you know when you start to like someone, you get this butterfly feeling effect?
That is a true feeling, it's in love.
Then, when you're in a true relationship, it's not being in love anymore, it's loving another person for who he is, and the will to move on with him/her.
I call that true love. And there's not exactly a time until you love someone, instead of being in love, but i believe it takes a while to love someone, since you have to accept someone's bad habits and stuff too. It takes a while to find all those out.
And if you can accept them, then that also means you can deal with it,talk about it, make possible changes to make it all better.

If a presumed true love falls apart, then your feeling for the other one might have been true love, but it's probably not mutual.
If it was mutual, then sure it was true. There's a lot of factors in life that can destroy true love.

Thanks for the response.

Would you agree that a presumed true love is that combined of close companionship (i.e. best friend, strong interpersonal connection) and physical & biological attractiveness?

If yes, would you agree that we, as humans, have adapted to the social idea of commitment, and through trueness, can mutually decide to limit ourselves to one person to express gratitude and respect through the system we call love?

 

[Kiwong]

It has multiplied neuroticism in my mind as I tried to forcefully remove it from my desires.

You have been given a gift, the freedom to remove a potential epidemic.

Unfortunately, not everyone has that luxury. Some can't help their involuntary need for that kind of compainionship.

You were given a gift, the gift of freedom from emotional impulses that consume millions of male human beings frequently.

Maybe it is a gift, but I worked very hard to create this dream for myself. To create an independent lifestyle for myself with things in it I love. Something that I recognise and don't want to lose. ]

 

[A friend]

Thanks for the response.

Would you agree that a presumed true love is that combined of close companionship (i.e. best friend, strong interpersonal connection) and physical & biological attractiveness?

If yes, would you agree that we, as humans, have adapted to the social idea of commitment, and through trueness, can mutually decide to limit ourselves to one person to express gratitude and respect through the system we call love?

That's a good point you're making, I can't find a way to disagree with that.

But finding a good person who won't demonstrate constant abuse and have a bottomless apitite for conflict and destruction of their partner's psychological interiors is incredibly difficult.

Compatibility and finding the right person is just as mythical as nomethinks describes love to be.

 

[coyote]

love is real

you will know it when it happens

 

[A friend]

Maybe it is a gift, but I worked very hard to create this dream for myself. To create an independent lifestyle for myself with things in it I love. Something that I recognise and don't want to lose. ]

Whether you worked for it or not, I consider it a gift. Many young (& older) men have commited suicide to achieve what you have now in your life.

Cherish it and thank god (or whatever you believe in the place of religious ideals) every day for the fact that you have this freedom. There are so many people of

both genders who crave and covet that kind of lifestyle, so many who love the thought of being happy and having emotional independency. You truely have a gift if you can live independently without getting lonely.

 

[Kiwong]

Whether you worked for it or not, I consider it a gift. Many young (& older) men have commited suicide to achieve what you have now in your life.

Cherish it and thank god (or whatever you believe in the place of religious ideals) every day for the fact that you have this freedom. There are so many people of

both genders who crave and covet that kind of lifestyle, so many who love the thought of being happy and having emotional independency. You truely have a gift if you can live independently without getting lonely.

If I can develop an independent lifestyle others can too. There is no miracle to it, just hard work and determination. Unfortunately, I still have an anxiety disorder that makes it hard work venturing out into the world of people with all their complications and contradictions. People can still make me feel lonely, but not romantically.

 

[A friend]

If I can develop an independent lifestyle others can too. There is no miracle to it, just hard work and determination. Unfortunately, I still have an anxiety disorder that makes it hard work venturing out into the world of people with all their complications and contradictions. People can still make me feel lonely, but not romantically.

There's multiple variations in terms of loneliness?

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

He makes a lot of good points, most of which I agree with, but I don't think love is all about sex. I may be young and naive and have had my share of bad experiences with relationships but even with all the douchebaggery I've dealt with, I still have hope that love isn't all about sex and that there is a much deeper meaning to it.

When you say you love your parents or a pet or any other dear thing of the like, does that mean you want to have sex with them and procreate? Absolutely not. It's a feeling of attachment - a connection.

How about things that are not living? Let's say you love money per se. Why do you feel compelled to say that you "love" it? What MAKES you compelled to say that you love it? A connection. Something about it makes you happy, fulfilled in a way.

Sex is such a major fulfillment for people because it's all a part of being human. Can you think of anyone who has never once thought of having sex with the one they love? I highly doubt you can. Why? Because we're all human. Just like every other living thing, we have the instinct to pass on our genes and create the next generation so yes, sex is a big part of feeling attracted to another person, but that doesn't make it the brightest star in a galaxy. The problem is that most people have become so desensitized to compassion and devotion that they prioritize their lust above all else because they feel that its the only thing that can fulfill their pursuit of happiness and pleasure in life. They've become so desensitized because they believe that sex is the only way to truly "connect" with another person, and that's where we have all f****d up royally.

Sex isn't that big of a deal to me and procreation even less. Hell I don't even want kids at all. There's enough people in this world as it is. I just want to find that special someone who will love me for who I am and want to be with me because they want to be with me as I will do the same for them. I want to have a connection with someone else that I can't have with anyone else. I want to be able to feel as if I am actually wanted as a person and not a plaything. I want to feel wanted for who I am.

What people have to understand is that it takes time to find the right person but there is somebody out there for everyone and all relationships have potential to be reinforced by a strong bond that does not rely solely on sensuality. In order to reinforce that bond, two people have to be willing to acknowledge each others' feelings and understand each other through a more spiritual connection. I believe that relationships are so complex because everyone has their own opinions and values and its difficult to correspond with each other when there are so many differences to adapt to.

There are many meanings behind the word "love" but they all share one thing in common: a bond between two embodiments. My point is, it's not love that's nonexistent - it's the ability to understand it on an emotional basis rather than physical.

As I said before, I'm still young and I still have yet to learn a lot of things about life and love, but I can vouch for the fact that love is not purely all about instinct and the desire to pop out more human beings everywhere like a Pez dispenser.