MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
Before I begin my onslaught of brokenhearted nonsense, I want to apologize in advance to everyone who even bothers to read this knowing that I'm going to sound like a complete and utterly brackish drama queen who came here just to spew all this negativity on a site where people already have problems of their own and don't need to hear this cliché BS for the millionth time.
And now, prepare for the emotional wrath of a pathetically lovesick 17 year old girl:
So, long story short, I just found out that my last boyfriend, who I've known for 6 years and thought to be the "religious goody two-shoed gentleman" of the school is nothing but a sex crazed fiend who has been going around telling his guy friends that he scored with me when we did nothing more than kiss a few times on the two simple dates we had that I had to initiate because he never offered to go anywhere with me during that measely month in which we were together.
Sounds like just another stereotypical teenage sob story right? And I know what you're all thinking: "Dating isn't the most important thing in life" or "You don't need a boyfriend to be happy" - yeah yeah I've already heard those a kajillion times by now. I'm just a hormonal and oversensitive teenager who overanalyzes things and is taking this opportunity to let out some pent up rage. Go ahead and laugh all you want at how pathetic I am. I'm so immersed in my own self-loathing right now that I really don't give a flying zebra anymore about what people think of me on this site.
There I was all those four years of high school, jealously watching the couples around campus holding hands, laughing together over silly little nothings, kissing so lovingly and passionately, all while wishing I could experience something like that and for what? To get f***** up the a** again by Cupid's poisoned arrow for the millionth time? Hahaha yeah, smart girl Malice, really smart. Way to tattoo "vulnerable virgin" on your forehead and carry a huge neon sign that reads "I'm a human doormat. Come step all over me!!"
How stupid and careless was I to once again confide my trust and love in a guy after all the crap I've already dealt with from cocky playboys to straight up psychopaths? You think I'd learn by now but I just don't seem to get it. I don't want to say that "there's no such thing as love" because deep down I still want to believe that it exists somewhere out there in the far away fields of Hopeville, but right now I truly believe that those cutesy little fairytale romances are nonexistent, or at least existent to those fortunate human beings out there with millions of 4-leafed clovers growing out of their a***s.
Right now my hopefully temporary belief is that I will never meet a guy with pure intentions who will actually love me for who I am and want to be with me because they enjoy being with me and not because they just want to see how far they can go with me and then brag to his friends about things that never transpired between us just to glorify himself, or simply just want to get into my pants for the ecstatic thrill of it all.
If there is a male human being out there like this then please, for the love of God and all things good and gracious in this world, put a crown on him with big fat diamonds all over and surround him with roses and an orchestra of holy unicorns singing "Alleluia" out of their rainbow-s******* a******s. Seriously.
I'm so tired of this BS. I'm tired of being played like a loose-strung cello. I'm tired of feeling like a plaything to guys. Above all, I'm tired of letting my anxiety and extremely low self-esteem corrode my life to a point where I'll give in to the simplest signs of attention and affection from guys and think they're the ones who will bring me happiness, only for them to do the complete opposite in the end and leave me crying like a 3 year old lost at a beach crowded by summer's blazing heat.
Anyway, ridiculous rant over.
Goodnight everyone (or good day to those of you in different time zones).
Oh, and to those few of you who still have any fragment of hope left for losers like me who can't stand simple roadblocks like this in life: God bless you, seriously, because at this rate I have no idea how anyone can pull that off in the slightest. Thanks for hearing me out.
And now, prepare for the emotional wrath of a pathetically lovesick 17 year old girl:
So, long story short, I just found out that my last boyfriend, who I've known for 6 years and thought to be the "religious goody two-shoed gentleman" of the school is nothing but a sex crazed fiend who has been going around telling his guy friends that he scored with me when we did nothing more than kiss a few times on the two simple dates we had that I had to initiate because he never offered to go anywhere with me during that measely month in which we were together.
Sounds like just another stereotypical teenage sob story right? And I know what you're all thinking: "Dating isn't the most important thing in life" or "You don't need a boyfriend to be happy" - yeah yeah I've already heard those a kajillion times by now. I'm just a hormonal and oversensitive teenager who overanalyzes things and is taking this opportunity to let out some pent up rage. Go ahead and laugh all you want at how pathetic I am. I'm so immersed in my own self-loathing right now that I really don't give a flying zebra anymore about what people think of me on this site.
There I was all those four years of high school, jealously watching the couples around campus holding hands, laughing together over silly little nothings, kissing so lovingly and passionately, all while wishing I could experience something like that and for what? To get f***** up the a** again by Cupid's poisoned arrow for the millionth time? Hahaha yeah, smart girl Malice, really smart. Way to tattoo "vulnerable virgin" on your forehead and carry a huge neon sign that reads "I'm a human doormat. Come step all over me!!"
How stupid and careless was I to once again confide my trust and love in a guy after all the crap I've already dealt with from cocky playboys to straight up psychopaths? You think I'd learn by now but I just don't seem to get it. I don't want to say that "there's no such thing as love" because deep down I still want to believe that it exists somewhere out there in the far away fields of Hopeville, but right now I truly believe that those cutesy little fairytale romances are nonexistent, or at least existent to those fortunate human beings out there with millions of 4-leafed clovers growing out of their a***s.
Right now my hopefully temporary belief is that I will never meet a guy with pure intentions who will actually love me for who I am and want to be with me because they enjoy being with me and not because they just want to see how far they can go with me and then brag to his friends about things that never transpired between us just to glorify himself, or simply just want to get into my pants for the ecstatic thrill of it all.
If there is a male human being out there like this then please, for the love of God and all things good and gracious in this world, put a crown on him with big fat diamonds all over and surround him with roses and an orchestra of holy unicorns singing "Alleluia" out of their rainbow-s******* a******s. Seriously.
I'm so tired of this BS. I'm tired of being played like a loose-strung cello. I'm tired of feeling like a plaything to guys. Above all, I'm tired of letting my anxiety and extremely low self-esteem corrode my life to a point where I'll give in to the simplest signs of attention and affection from guys and think they're the ones who will bring me happiness, only for them to do the complete opposite in the end and leave me crying like a 3 year old lost at a beach crowded by summer's blazing heat.
Anyway, ridiculous rant over.
Goodnight everyone (or good day to those of you in different time zones).
Oh, and to those few of you who still have any fragment of hope left for losers like me who can't stand simple roadblocks like this in life: God bless you, seriously, because at this rate I have no idea how anyone can pull that off in the slightest. Thanks for hearing me out.
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