The City! (are people really so cruel?)

[Section_31]

Ive run into countless folks who seem to think "go F yourself!" is canadian for "have a nice day!".

I would have def said somthing to the guy, berating a pregnant woman like that. what a douchebag.

I think your right on wierdy with the theory that a higher concentration of people = higher chance of running into said douchebaggery.

Tell your sis some guy she doesnt know sends her a virtual net hug, lol.

 

[coyote]

That's really unfortunate that your sister experienced pretty much all the negative things about city life in one day.

Seems like I've had kind of an opposite experience with the city. I've always managed to blend into the crowds and not draw too much attention to myself. Aside from the occasional panhandler or non-profit volunteer, no one really bothers me. Maybe it's because I tend to walk around with a "Don't mess with me" look on my face. Or maybe it's because Chicagoans are so far up their own a**es that they barely notice their own surroundings. -shrug-

yeah, people in chicago are just in a hurry it seems

never was accosted by any rude people the fifteen years i lived there

maybe becuase it's still the midwest

 

[Section_31]

Coy was born and raised in the rough side of south detroit

Id feel safe with him in ANY setting!

 

[Sacrament]

Some people are douchebags, others aren't. You just have to deal with it. I mean, I would have said to the guy "I came here to get popcorn, not to be annoyed by some obnoxious punk". Gotta stand up for yourself.

 

[MikeyC]

Coy was born and raised in the rough side of south detroit

Id feel safe with him in ANY setting!

Same here. Keep me safe!

 

[Hastings & Main]

Yes and no, in different equations, all over the place!

That guy at the counter sounds like a very rare case, and one of you (or somebody) should report him to a higher-up at the store. Unless he's the boss. Or do a negative Yelp! review at least.::

I personally can't recall being harassed by anyone here (except the odd street-crazy, but ya gotta expect that), maybe because I can put on a mean-face that would scare a starved bear away.

People in larger cities may seem more ready to be cruel to each other since there's a lack of connectivity.
Change is always happening, things are getting torn down and built up, neighbors in condos, apartments etc are constantly moving in & out, and we pass by a jillion people every day on the street coming & going, with no idea who they are, where they're from, and we never have any time (seemingly) to find out anything about each other.
Add the stress of the workplace and living paycheque-to-paycheque, and many people are perpetually tightly-wound, also making it hard to be open & relaxed.

Vancouver's pretty laid back, for the most part. We just never smile at strangers on the street.

 

[Roman Legion]

I remember on what I belive was memorial day, someone hit my father in the side of the head with a metal cane, my father being a disabled veteran.. Many other cases, but yeah, people everywhere are rude morons..

I love playing this song on the guitar, the truth makes me feel slightly better.

L7 - The Masses Are Asses - YouTube

 

[Facethefear]

Not just in the city but in the country too. It is a segment of the population who seem to lack the sensitivity gene - not overtly cruel or rude but almost casually so. Comments that should never have been spoken or opinions that were unasked for and incorrect about my lack of something they don't have. People with bad intentions and greedy thoughts who project them outward. Ones who get a little power and abuse it.
Lazy idiots who can't or won't do certain jobs but know exactly the correct way and amount of time the work entails when I do it.
Takers who feel they deserve all I can give them and more because they deserve it and I don't. Humorless clods who only laugh at somebody and wonder when they see me joking around with another if I am laughing at them because that is the only time they crack a smile and wondering, out loud, if my crazy sense of humour means I am crazy. Liars who question my honesty. Angry people who try and try again to provoke me into lowering myself to lose my temper and provide them with an adrenalin rush. People who poke, poke, poke verbally until I say "STOP IT. You are mistaking kindness for weakness" and they deny and justify and fake apologize and run away like a scared mouse.
Self absorbed ones who talk right and act wrong...oh so wrong. Poor ones who act arrogant because their dead ancestors did something great, years before any of us were born so I should pay homage to them. I could go on but my head hurts remembering.
Yes, I have met that segment of society and survived, knowing their inner turmoil must be a hell of a lot worse than mine ever was.

 

[montejocarlo]

Now... is it the city or just people in general?
I tend to just feel like people are rude on a regular basis to each other but maybe it's the fact that the city has so many people in it that the chances of running into someone who is rude to you is higher?

Last month, my sister (who was 8 months pregnant at the time) had countless experiences down the street from where she lives that made her decide not to leave the house anymore.
She needs more exercise, though-- so that she can have enough stamina to do a home-birth (within a week from now)

She likes popcorn, so one day she went to Kernels (a store that sells all different flavours of popped corn) and in she came from the hot and blindingly sunny street, wearing her sunglasses- to make her order.
The man at the counter asked; "Do those glasses make you feel superior to me?"
To which; she didn't know how to respond because it was just a ridiculous accusation. "...uh... no?"
He went on a rant for 10 minutes about how she must feel like she's better than him just because she's pregnant.

Now... sure, he could have been having a bad day but to take it out on a VERY pregnant, emotional, petite woman who was all alone was just inexcusable.
Finally-- he asked what she wanted and by then, she was already in tears so she left and went home.
One the way home (which is only 1 city block away) she was crossing the street at the lights-- at the proper time; and a car started honking at her. It startled her and she tried to walk faster but being that gigantic and pregnant; it's kind of extremely hard to do so, especially when she baby is making you uncomfortable and kicking at your insides.
She finished crossing the street and the lights didn't change for another 2 minutes, so that car was just WAITING there after honking at her and scaring her.
She took a seat on the bench and an older man came and sat next to her to ask if she had any change.
She said no and he continued to ask for 'something- anything!' until she had the strength to get up and continue on her way.

...I feel like she just had my luck for a day because those are the things that constantly happen to me-- a series of unfortunate events, every time I manage to leave the house and I live in a small town.
In the city, it's just magnified 1million times.

So... for a day, she knew a bit of what it was like to be in my head and now I feel terrible that she had to go through it-- especially being pregnant.
I suppose she was just more emotional at the time and having a bad day and I'm sure she'll get back into the habit of leaving home more often a few months after the baby is born.
She's never been like me (agoraphobic) and I can't see her starting to be, either. She loves the city too much to suddenly become an introverted hermit.

-- any city stories about encounters with great people? With mean people?
Any pregnancy stories about being in public places?

i don't think it has anything to do with the city. but i wouldn't also say it's people "in general." sure, there are plenty of rude and self-centered people out there but i doubt that they constitute a majority. being rude is not normal human behavior. maybe she simply had a rotten luck that day.

and regarding this question:

Now... is it the city or just people in general?

i think it's important to always include ourselves in the list of culprits. how we see things is always a reflection of our state of mind. we need to be open to the fact that there's a possibility that the hostility we feel around us is just mind-created.

 

[bleach]

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/despite-all-my-rage-im-still-just-a-rat-in-a-cage-39183/

 

[psych]

The man at the counter asked; "Do those glasses make you feel superior to me?"
To which; she didn't know how to respond because it was just a ridiculous accusation. "...uh... no?"
He went on a rant for 10 minutes about how she must feel like she's better than him just because she's pregnant.

Ummmm, yeah... That dude would be soooooo fired if it was me.
If he owned the shop, I would've at least called him a twisted psycho piece of sh*t that just lost my business before I went on my merry way.
Very few strangers actually hold any power to get to me individually like that.

I'm sorry your sister had to go through that during pregnancy... Gotta be even tougher when you're feeling vulnerable and hormonal.

I think people like him look for easy targets by reading body language, or looking for someone physically weaker to verbally bully.

 

[laure15]

People can be quite mean in big cities, especially in the ghetto areas (avoid those when possible). I lived in a big city in north TX for 2 years before moving out; at first, I was trying to save money so I moved into ghetto neighborhoods, and it turned out to be a big mistake. People started getting angry at you for little things such as looking at them, minding your own business and not caring about what goes on around you, etc. I've been yelled at with curse words even though I didn't do anything to those residents. And when someone doesn't like me, they start spreading rumors about me, many of which are false and based on guesses. I've never spoken to those residents and they act like they know me for many years! Living in that city was a nightmare for me, and after 2 years, I was ready to say adieu and move back to my hometown. Things have been better since.

 

[SpongeBobRocks]

That's horrible! I think there seems to be ruder people in bigger and crowded cities.
I don't recall having any bad experiences in big cities, but I often feel intimidated by people when looking around shops.

 

[Foxface]

Each city is different, like where I am, most girls don't like me becuase they judge just by one look. I know I'm not the best looking, but I know I'm not the ugliest person.

The people in Halifax, are not as friendly to people with social anxiety as other cities would be, and it's not just me either. I've come across other people are are lonely, or just different from the rest, and most people don't care. Girls are crueller than guys. It said that in the paper once with thing about bullying. I never really got bullied, or picked on. I try to be nice, but girls don't like me, even on-line. It's hard to find friends with "normal" people. My best friends all have social anxiety, some have Autism. They except me. It's a shame that we can only accept our own kind, that we can't blend in with others. Anyone different is seen as an outcast or loner.

I wish I lived in Ontario. I've came a cross a lot of nice people from there, and one of my friends is from there. Also more people there. Ontario has the best Naturist resorts. I'm from Nova Scotia, which is on the far East of Canada. Ontario is like in the centre.

I've been looking for friends since Junior High., and I started Junior High in 2001. 11 years, is how long I've been looking for friends. I still haven't found anyone local, and at times, I feel like I am loosing my mind, loosing hope and finding someone local to hang out with, be friends with and someone who really cares. All the cool girls are in out West. There maybe cool girls here, but not many, I haven't met any IRL or on-line.