The City! (are people really so cruel?)

[WeirdyMcGee]

Now... is it the city or just people in general?
I tend to just feel like people are rude on a regular basis to each other but maybe it's the fact that the city has so many people in it that the chances of running into someone who is rude to you is higher?

Last month, my sister (who was 8 months pregnant at the time) had countless experiences down the street from where she lives that made her decide not to leave the house anymore.
She needs more exercise, though-- so that she can have enough stamina to do a home-birth (within a week from now)

She likes popcorn, so one day she went to Kernels (a store that sells all different flavours of popped corn) and in she came from the hot and blindingly sunny street, wearing her sunglasses- to make her order.
The man at the counter asked; "Do those glasses make you feel superior to me?"
To which; she didn't know how to respond because it was just a ridiculous accusation. "...uh... no?"
He went on a rant for 10 minutes about how she must feel like she's better than him just because she's pregnant.

Now... sure, he could have been having a bad day but to take it out on a VERY pregnant, emotional, petite woman who was all alone was just inexcusable.
Finally-- he asked what she wanted and by then, she was already in tears so she left and went home.
One the way home (which is only 1 city block away) she was crossing the street at the lights-- at the proper time; and a car started honking at her. It startled her and she tried to walk faster but being that gigantic and pregnant; it's kind of extremely hard to do so, especially when she baby is making you uncomfortable and kicking at your insides.
She finished crossing the street and the lights didn't change for another 2 minutes, so that car was just WAITING there after honking at her and scaring her.
She took a seat on the bench and an older man came and sat next to her to ask if she had any change.
She said no and he continued to ask for 'something- anything!' until she had the strength to get up and continue on her way.

...I feel like she just had my luck for a day because those are the things that constantly happen to me-- a series of unfortunate events, every time I manage to leave the house and I live in a small town.
In the city, it's just magnified 1million times.

So... for a day, she knew a bit of what it was like to be in my head and now I feel terrible that she had to go through it-- especially being pregnant.
I suppose she was just more emotional at the time and having a bad day and I'm sure she'll get back into the habit of leaving home more often a few months after the baby is born.
She's never been like me (agoraphobic) and I can't see her starting to be, either. She loves the city too much to suddenly become an introverted hermit.

-- any city stories about encounters with great people? With mean people?
Any pregnancy stories about being in public places?

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, people have the potential to be. Some cities are full of crime and evil, some are not-so-filled with it. But that was an extremely weird, dark, and infuriating series of events. She should report that guy at the Kernels store to his overseer though.

I don't think I have much experience, city-wise, with mean people because I'm a perpetual shut-in::, but, from what I've experienced in college, I've had people stop by me in their cars just to yell at me or otherwise try to scare me multiple times. It's really annoying. But, I'm sure that there are good people on campus and in cities as well. We just have to know where to look.

 

[MikeyC]

I think what your sister went through was an extremely bad case of what goes on in cities. I've had relatively good experiences walking through Sydney, even though some people do look a bit dodgy.

I can't believe that guy at the store would say something like that. Really, really odd. :/

 

[BlackPuma]

Those were some particularly rude people. Holy cow.. You'd think that when people see a pregnant women they'd treat her more gently. Yuck.. Especially the guy in the store. How does being pregnant even remotely equal superiority? It's idiotic even merely on the face of it.


Actually, to answer your question, I had a very recent encounter with someone very rude. In Holland we have special bicycle lanes. To cross them, you don't need any traffic lights since there's no high speed vehicles (allowed) on it. This become relevant in a minute.

I had a friend fly in from Portugal last week, and we were all over town to see and do things. The week is all nice and dandy, up until last Sunday evening (his last day here). We cross one of those bicycle lanes, and then hear a mechanical honk closing in. Weird and alarming because bicycles don't have those. Seconds later, I look behind me only too see my friend get hit by a scooter at a very high speed.

Note that scooters are not allowed on those lanes. Especially not driving driving that fast. They're supposed to be on the regular car roads. And not only did he not ask how my friend was, he drove away while I was still attending to my friend. Luckily he only hit his foot slightly, but with enough force to knock his shoe meters away. His foot still hurts.

He could've broken/crushed his foot easily.

 

[JuiceB]

I think that maybe she just had a rough day. In the cities I've lived in is mostly a mix of mean people, friendly, and those who are always in a rush to get somewhere and don't have time for you.

 

[Phoenixx]

Sorry to hear what happened to your sister, that's awful. :: I hope that doesn't keep her from leaving the house though.

I agree with Deadman, some cities tend to be worse than others, including the rude people. However, even amongst all that rudeness there are nice people out there. While I was in Delaware a few months back, I stayed in the largest city in the state which is also less than an hour from Philadelphia. I've been there multiple times in the past and my experience every time is just about the same: the people are a large mixture of really friendly and downright rude.

I agree with everyone else, that I think it was just an unfortunate array of events that just happened. Note that it's not just cities either. There are a fair amount of rude people too where I live, and the population is less than 2000.

 

[EitherOr]

The answer is yes--and no.

I think New York City has a pretty even mix. A lot of people are rude--they'll walk quickly, shove through a crowd if they have to, and just turn their heads and continue on, totally uncaring and self-centered. I've seen people not offer their seat on a bus or train to a pregnant woman or small child, which is rather inexcusable in my opinion.

On the other end, there's usually always people willing to help you with directions and such. My friend, brother, and I have helped people find their way around quite a number of times, and we don't take the train to the city very often. It's nice to go every once in a while, but for me, it tends to be a little difficult with the SA and that.

Unfortunately, sometimes we just have bad luck like your sister did, but the important thing is to realize that those people were just in bad moods, having an off day, or are just inherently jerks. If you love apples, you won't eat one bad one and never eat another again. People are the same, just that you have to interact with them, not eat them. Sometimes you'll get a bad one. Sometimes you'll get a few bad ones in a row. But you have to soldier on.

I am sorry your sister had such a crap day, though, but given what you've said of her, I think she'll shrug it off and be just fine.

 

[TailsAlone]

My heart goes out to your sister for her lousy day. I guess not all people are nice in Canada. Down here they're still pretty cool. I couldn't picture running into three such unpleasant people in a row, even in the cities. But it does seem that people are more rushed and less considerate when you cram a lot of them together.

 

[NP88]

I live in a small town and after a 6 month stint in Calgary coming back I noticed just how much more personal people are. People for the most part don't seem to give a sh't about you in the city. Your just another member of the herd to be dealt with not a person.

Another example. I was in a small city in Ontario walking back from a fair and this car drove by and threw a f'king zucchini at me and a friend and said "I hope you like vegetables" Like wtf. What kind of person does that.

Moral of the story some people can just be rude and intolerant for no reason. Too bad about your sister, the guy was obviously a jerk. Who the heck does that to anyone let alone a pregnant woman. Jeez..

 

[Etbow23]

I think in most cities people tend to be more stressed out and aggressive. I've always lived in the suburbs/city so I've always been surrounded by people who are often times very hostile for absolutely no reason. I'll give two examples.

1. My mother and her boyfriend were waiting by the curb, out of the way, in a parking lot, waiting for my boyfriend and I to come out of a store. While they were waiting, a man pulled up to them, and said nastily "hey, get your piece of shi*t out of the way". They weren't in the way at all, and there was absolutely no reason for the man to get angry. He was not blocked at all. He was just a nasty person. He got scared off though when my mom's bf got out the car..he's a big man. Shows what cowards say things like that.

2. My sister, pregnant at the time, was visiting with her husband and they drove to Burger King. They had to stop suddenly and the SUV-driving man behind them had to brake and apparently this caused his soda or something to spill. He jumped out of his car and blocked theirs, and starting verbally assaulting my sister, her being about 8 months pregnant apparent. Luckily in this case, a bunch of cops were idling nearby having hamburgers, and one of them booked him.

 

[Etbow23]

Another example. I was in a small city in Ontario walking back from a fair and this car drove by and threw a f'king zucchini at me and a friend and said "I hope you like vegetables" Like wtf. What kind of person does that.

.

What is wrong with people??

 

[MikeyC]

^ I've had eggs thrown at me before. Really weird.

 

[Invisibleman]

You want to see rude, you should see Paris:: But yeah in my provinces biggest (And only) city ive been egged walking on the street,threatened death by gang members,had fights started at restaurants. Its pretty nuts.

 

[9407]

Some weird things happen here in Toronto. One time me and my mom were grocery shopping and this guy started yelling and swearing at my mom because she was apparently loading her groceries slowly.. My mom, being hot tempered, started swearing and yelling at him back. Don't know what was wrong with that piece of s*it. He was having a bad day so he decided to take it out on a 4'11 woman (this guy was around 5'10). Also, in some areas, (if you're a young male) you have to watch what colours you wear because of gangs.

 

[dottie]

god, people disgust me.

 

[MikeyC]

I think the stories in here are in the minority. Apparently my suburb is not known for its awesomeness and safety, but I walk to and from shops all the time and I've never been mugged or stabbed or attacked.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

^ I've had eggs thrown at me before. Really weird.

My sister had eggs thrown at her windshield while driving. I just don't get it

Last week I had a bad experience. I usually never leave the house alone, but this time I did for a job thing. I was walking a couple blocks to the bus stop, when I noticed this bum. I tried keeping my distance from him, he was walking like a block ahead, but he kept checking the trash and eventually I caught up. Well, he noticed me and then just stood there on the side and waited for me to pass by. That is when I saw he was touching himself. It was horrible. Gross. I don't live in a nice neighborhood, but I don't know when all these bums came in. Ugh.

 

[MikeyC]

My sister had eggs thrown at her windshield while driving. I just don't get it

Last week I had a bad experience. I usually never leave the house alone, but this time I did for a job thing. I was walking a couple blocks to the bus stop, when I noticed this bum. I tried keeping my distance from him, he was walking like a block ahead, but he kept checking the trash and eventually I caught up. Well, he noticed me and then just stood there on the side and waited for me to pass by. That is when I saw he was touching himself. It was horrible. Gross. I don't live in a nice neighborhood, but I don't know when all these bums came in. Ugh.

That's despicable.

 

[dottie]

about 10 years ago, my brother was walking a few houses down the street in the suburban neighborhood we lived in. someone did a drive-by with a paintball gun. if you don't know about paintballs, these things hurt big-time and leave welts. at first, he really thought he was shot.

what is civilization? non-existent anymore.

 

[this_portrait]

That's really unfortunate that your sister experienced pretty much all the negative things about city life in one day.

Seems like I've had kind of an opposite experience with the city. I've always managed to blend into the crowds and not draw too much attention to myself. Aside from the occasional panhandler or non-profit volunteer, no one really bothers me. Maybe it's because I tend to walk around with a "Don't mess with me" look on my face. Or maybe it's because Chicagoans are so far up their own a**es that they barely notice their own surroundings. -shrug-