the big 3oh
- Thread starter doubleM
- Start date
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
I have longevity on my mom's side like the women live into their 100's this kinda scares me to be that old...but the way I figure it I have another 65-70 years to get stuff right so that's a bit of time on my side. It's overwhelming to think of it on those terms, but in a good way.
DespairSoul
Well-known member
Moutaingirl
Here the same,and im opposite scares me really a lot be here yet 70 years:/
Pookah
Well-known member
I hate aging. I think that is why I am so obsessed with immortality. Vampires, elves, etc.
I feel like time is wasting, sands are just spilling down the hour glass never to return.
I don't consider myself very pretty but I think whatever charm I may have had in my twenties is leaving as I age out of them and that the chance I have of being wanted is dwindling.
Youth is very alluring. All the stamina and being fresh-faced. Everything new and exciting and it seems like entertainment is focused on you, music and movies etc. It is harder and harder to justify relating to characters who you out-age. (Fiction is important to me, coping-wise for depression/anxiety.)
I feel like time is wasting, sands are just spilling down the hour glass never to return.
I don't consider myself very pretty but I think whatever charm I may have had in my twenties is leaving as I age out of them and that the chance I have of being wanted is dwindling.
Youth is very alluring. All the stamina and being fresh-faced. Everything new and exciting and it seems like entertainment is focused on you, music and movies etc. It is harder and harder to justify relating to characters who you out-age. (Fiction is important to me, coping-wise for depression/anxiety.)
Xylia, I felt older at 16 than I do now...
I really like your attitude of staying healthy & active - this is really important, yup!!
Thanks. I hope it does change... I'd like to be a happy old lady who is a kid inside lol
All you can do is focus on right now and getting a better mindset over your SA (start today! right now!) so your 20/20 hindsight doesn't blind your future.
Stay young by drinking lots of water and curbing any cynicism, find releases for stress or sideline stress from your life, and the hair? NO combover. NO compensation-ponytail. YES to buzzcut/shave. (You should see all the late-20's guys in my neighborhood w/shaved heads. Some days it's like a scene outta THX 1138)
Keep fat at bay w/stomache crunches and waving goodbye to McDonalds. I've seen as many thin men in their 70's as fat ones.
And as said better before me, this time-bubble around 30 is a crisis for a whole lot of people. After 31 and a bit, you settle back down, until you hit 36 and realize you can't get up from a crouch w/o one hand on your knee
This looks like some good advice ^ except if we all curbed our cynicism, there would be no people like Dr. House :
: lolI'm 20 and have been worried about my old age since I was 18. For me this is social anxiety-related because I'm scared of having to talk to adults as an adult myself. Often I feel like I should still be 12 or under. Or at least I wish I was... (relationships and conversation were both SO MUCH less complicated then)
Despite that I really think that you can never be too old to learn new things. It just takes a lot more effort
Despite that I really think that you can never be too old to learn new things. It just takes a lot more effort
Kiwong
Well-known member
At 48 I unquestionably feel a lot better than I did for my late twenties, thirties and early forties. I am actually living for the first time in a long time. I am stronger, fitter, more idependent.
Just three years ago I was extremely unwell, and I could never have imagined that today I am running half marathons and ultra trail races. I've lived some of the best days of my life in the last couple of years. I have had glimpses of how rewarding and inspiring life can be, and it has opened my eyes to the possibilties, and I feel myself changing.
Life can be good at any age, if you try to live it.
Just three years ago I was extremely unwell, and I could never have imagined that today I am running half marathons and ultra trail races. I've lived some of the best days of my life in the last couple of years. I have had glimpses of how rewarding and inspiring life can be, and it has opened my eyes to the possibilties, and I feel myself changing.
Life can be good at any age, if you try to live it.
Last edited:
Richey
Well-known member
if you have a baby face then your age won't come up too often and it wont be too much of a problem..if you don't have a baby face then start using moisturiser and look after yourself as best you can and in my opinion just be you, don't become old minded, stay young at heart and open minded, don't be afraid to maintain interests that you've had, play videogames, watch movies you like, and live life as if you were still in your early 20's and give people the perception that you could be any age over 20 ...
you see alot of people who are clearly 30ish and the reason is because they either dress like in clothes that makes them seem a bit timid and boring or they don't shave or groom themselves very well and they sort of look their age through choice.
women can now dye their hair and look alot younger and so can men, if you have one or two obvious wrinkles on your face then try out some products and some subtle make-up ..
if you are a guy and you are balding a lot then consider shaving it all off or wearing a hat that suits you or even a wig. i had a friend who did this and it looked amazing. if you go a bit grey then dye it your natural colour perhaps. wear clothes that make you seem yo be younger.
turning 30 also means that you are just as close to age 25 as you are to 35 ..so you need to try and put all of this into persepctive and then throw it all into a box because then you arn't making it a big deal and letting it effect you too much. gain some clarity on the positives and live by that as a rule of thumb.
i am still four years away but the thought is very scary indeed for the obvious reasons, health becomes more significant, looks can either stick around or diminish, expectations of life success are supposed to be reached, experience, and the rest. its almost like a stamp of "you are officially old" ...
some people deal with it better then others.
I actually believe that one of the great things about generation Y is that people are more open minded to hobbies and interests, chocies etc and are less likely to become an obvious older person.
So i think the worst that will happen is there may be occasions where people will ask your age and that's when you'll think "should i say 29...does it matter...should i just say 30..say 30 ..
I personally think that late 30's would be hard to deal with but it all depends on how conetent you are and sensitive you are to aging.
you see alot of people who are clearly 30ish and the reason is because they either dress like in clothes that makes them seem a bit timid and boring or they don't shave or groom themselves very well and they sort of look their age through choice.
women can now dye their hair and look alot younger and so can men, if you have one or two obvious wrinkles on your face then try out some products and some subtle make-up ..
if you are a guy and you are balding a lot then consider shaving it all off or wearing a hat that suits you or even a wig. i had a friend who did this and it looked amazing. if you go a bit grey then dye it your natural colour perhaps. wear clothes that make you seem yo be younger.
turning 30 also means that you are just as close to age 25 as you are to 35 ..so you need to try and put all of this into persepctive and then throw it all into a box because then you arn't making it a big deal and letting it effect you too much. gain some clarity on the positives and live by that as a rule of thumb.
i am still four years away but the thought is very scary indeed for the obvious reasons, health becomes more significant, looks can either stick around or diminish, expectations of life success are supposed to be reached, experience, and the rest. its almost like a stamp of "you are officially old" ...
some people deal with it better then others.
I actually believe that one of the great things about generation Y is that people are more open minded to hobbies and interests, chocies etc and are less likely to become an obvious older person.
So i think the worst that will happen is there may be occasions where people will ask your age and that's when you'll think "should i say 29...does it matter...should i just say 30..say 30 ..
I personally think that late 30's would be hard to deal with but it all depends on how conetent you are and sensitive you are to aging.
Kiwong, you are VERY inspiring!!
My Grandma had the best time in her life as a child and then in her 50-70's too!!
Mountaingirl, you are soo lucky!! I want to be 90 years old!! Or 100 or 120+, woo!!
My family doesn't have such great genes (so far?) Mostly made it to 70+ or 80+ I only have one Granny, she's 80+ and doesn't want to be 100+ lol!! (We joke with her sometimes!) She's had quite some health problems and seems to have some depression and such (untreated and doesn't want to go to a doctor for it, not sure if they wouldn't just give her meds).. We try to get her to eat healthy food & visit her.. I think it would be better if she didn't sit in front of the TV all day!! (watching Baywatch and such!!) She's mostly afraid of health getting worse, as long as she's still physically independent, she's okay with it...
She thought she'd only make it to 50+ cause both her parents died in their 50's, but she's 80+ now!!
She also had the greatest FUN in her life after she retired & went to trips, joined a cool support group for the elderly (she sometimes went to more parties than I did!!) started writing poems, etc. She's such an inspiration!!
There's a lot of interesting stuff for the elderly to do in our country, some ladies learn calligraphy or such.. There is more choice in the cities though...
In the countryside, there's the choir, lady herbalists, language learning, some gym groups and trips..
And the really old people (80+) are sometimes lonely at home, cause the families are working, kids are at school... In the old times, old people were valued members, for their wisdom and experience, teaching younger'uns, families worked and lived together...
Many farms today are full of tractors and machinery, with one person or a few operating them... The countryside has really changed a lot... A lot of work that was once connecting people is done by machines or obsolete now.. Which is a shame really, sometimes.. When older ladies speak of their experience from their youth, their face shines... and they become 'young again'... It was hard work sometimes, they still had a lot of FUN... Many say life was better then... People were more connected... Did stuff together.. 'There was not such frenziness/stress'... Life was calmer...
Last year I was trying to 'live more basic' and more eco and more 'zero waste' and we did stuff like work in the garden, making jams and fruit juice, etc. It's a lot of work, and basically you're doing something 'all the time' lol... You can do it together with others and talk meanwhile though.. It's zen-like almost, very calming... You can 'turn off' the thoughts and just 'be in the moment' - kind of like 'active meditation'
(I never was good at meditation, so this was actually even way better for me!!)
After I read that 5+ hours of computer a day causes depression and concentration/memory problems, this made sense...
Mountaingirl, see if there's a charity where you live that visits older people... They're probably looking for volunteers!! Or you could start a new one? (Or maybe an existing charity would do this if only someone suggested it & volunteered for it?) They're usually VERY happy if someone visits and listens to them, and asks about old times.. And we can learn A LOT from them...
And it's funny cause ladies at 50 or 70+ will call you 'young'... even if you're 30+ Or they will say stuff like, 'He died at 60, he was soo young...' and this can really bring things into perspective...
There may be local associations/non-profits that would LOVE to have young people aboard!! For example, The Poets' Society, or any non-profits/charities... It depends on your interests too...
Richey, some good tips! There's a movement from coloring hair these days though - a lot of celebrities and 'normal people' are wearing 'silver' and flaunting it!
Hair dyes are mostly not eco, they damage hair and some are even toxic... at least go for more natural dyes like henna (and double check it's real henna and not 'chemistry') if you still choose it.. Some silver in the hair can look very sexy though...
Yup, some guys get 'the real mid-life crisis' at 40 or 50 or so... (Where they run off and marry blond secretaries and buy sports cars and such...) Some people can sort of 'blossom' around that age though...
Even Dr House - who has heard of the main actor before Dr House series?
Many people with SA may be 'late bloomers' so there is still hope for all of us!!
My Grandma had the best time in her life as a child and then in her 50-70's too!!
Mountaingirl, you are soo lucky!!
I want to be 90 years old!! Or 100 or 120+, woo!!My family doesn't have such great genes (so far?) Mostly made it to 70+ or 80+ I only have one Granny, she's 80+ and doesn't want to be 100+ lol!! (We joke with her sometimes!) She's had quite some health problems and seems to have some depression and such (untreated and doesn't want to go to a doctor for it, not sure if they wouldn't just give her meds).. We try to get her to eat healthy food & visit her.. I think it would be better if she didn't sit in front of the TV all day!! (watching Baywatch and such!!) She's mostly afraid of health getting worse, as long as she's still physically independent, she's okay with it...
She thought she'd only make it to 50+ cause both her parents died in their 50's, but she's 80+ now!!
She also had the greatest FUN in her life after she retired & went to trips, joined a cool support group for the elderly (she sometimes went to more parties than I did!!) started writing poems, etc. She's such an inspiration!!
There's a lot of interesting stuff for the elderly to do in our country, some ladies learn calligraphy or such.. There is more choice in the cities though...
In the countryside, there's the choir, lady herbalists, language learning, some gym groups and trips..
And the really old people (80+) are sometimes lonely at home, cause the families are working, kids are at school... In the old times, old people were valued members, for their wisdom and experience, teaching younger'uns, families worked and lived together...
Many farms today are full of tractors and machinery, with one person or a few operating them... The countryside has really changed a lot... A lot of work that was once connecting people is done by machines or obsolete now.. Which is a shame really, sometimes.. When older ladies speak of their experience from their youth, their face shines... and they become 'young again'... It was hard work sometimes, they still had a lot of FUN... Many say life was better then... People were more connected... Did stuff together.. 'There was not such frenziness/stress'... Life was calmer...
Last year I was trying to 'live more basic' and more eco and more 'zero waste' and we did stuff like work in the garden, making jams and fruit juice, etc. It's a lot of work, and basically you're doing something 'all the time' lol... You can do it together with others and talk meanwhile though.. It's zen-like almost, very calming... You can 'turn off' the thoughts and just 'be in the moment' - kind of like 'active meditation'
(I never was good at meditation, so this was actually even way better for me!!)
After I read that 5+ hours of computer a day causes depression and concentration/memory problems, this made sense...
Mountaingirl, see if there's a charity where you live that visits older people... They're probably looking for volunteers!! Or you could start a new one? (Or maybe an existing charity would do this if only someone suggested it & volunteered for it?) They're usually VERY happy if someone visits and listens to them, and asks about old times.. And we can learn A LOT from them...
And it's funny cause ladies at 50 or 70+ will call you 'young'...
even if you're 30+ Or they will say stuff like, 'He died at 60, he was soo young...' and this can really bring things into perspective... There may be local associations/non-profits that would LOVE to have young people aboard!! For example, The Poets' Society, or any non-profits/charities... It depends on your interests too...
Richey, some good tips! There's a movement from coloring hair these days though - a lot of celebrities and 'normal people' are wearing 'silver' and flaunting it!
Hair dyes are mostly not eco, they damage hair and some are even toxic... at least go for more natural dyes like henna (and double check it's real henna and not 'chemistry') if you still choose it.. Some silver in the hair can look very sexy though...
Yup, some guys get 'the real mid-life crisis' at 40 or 50 or so... (Where they run off and marry blond secretaries and buy sports cars and such...) Some people can sort of 'blossom' around that age though...
Even Dr House - who has heard of the main actor before Dr House series?
Many people with SA may be 'late bloomers' so there is still hope for all of us!!
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
First let me say I RESENT THIS THREAD. LOL. I think that the thirties are kind of the show and tell age. It seems that in this decade of our lives it is harder to hide our lifestyles physically. If you are not taking care of yourself physically at this age it begins to show. Where as if you are it also shows. I think that this decade is where most people look their best, although their is something to be said for the next one two. The problem with the show and tell age is that it makes some people feel bad because its also show and tell for acomplishments, we can't really hide behind our youth anymore, and the excuse I am still figuring out what I want to do with my life, starts to sound like BS.
Some people are still partying at the bars, and living in their apartment with three other roomates. Some people are CEOS, or have families and a home. Like I said its Show and tell time. What have you been doing for the past decade? What do you have to show for it? Irritating if you ask me. I am lucky enough to look good on the surface, I take care of myself obsessively, and have the kids, house, and money. But sometimes when I try to take a walk, and can't do it, it all feels like a lie. All and all its harder to be in your thirties than your twenties I think, unless you can learn to enjoy them. Their is a reason this is called our prime.
I think that the thirties are kind of the show and tell age. It seems that in this decade of our lives it is harder to hide our lifestyles physically. If you are not taking care of yourself physically at this age it begins to show. Where as if you are it also shows. I think that this decade is where most people look their best, although their is something to be said for the next one two. The problem with the show and tell age is that it makes some people feel bad because its also show and tell for acomplishments, we can't really hide behind our youth anymore, and the excuse I am still figuring out what I want to do with my life, starts to sound like BS. Some people are still partying at the bars, and living in their apartment with three other roomates. Some people are CEOS, or have families and a home. Like I said its Show and tell time. What have you been doing for the past decade? What do you have to show for it? Irritating if you ask me. I am lucky enough to look good on the surface, I take care of myself obsessively, and have the kids, house, and money. But sometimes when I try to take a walk, and can't do it, it all feels like a lie. All and all its harder to be in your thirties than your twenties I think, unless you can learn to enjoy them. Their is a reason this is called our prime.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
if you don't look or feel old then don't worry about it. when you get really old, you can fake your age, so what.
coyote
Well-known member
First let me say I RESENT THIS THREAD. LOL.
Some people are still partying at the bars, and living in their apartment with three other roomates. Some people are CEOS, or have families and a home. Like I said its Show and tell time. What have you been doing for the past decade? What do you have to show for it? Irritating if you ask me. I am lucky enough to look good on the surface, I take care of myself obsessively, and have the kids, house, and money. But sometimes when I try to take a walk, and can't do it, it all feels like a lie. All and all its harder to be in your thirties than your twenties I think, unless you can learn to enjoy them. Their is a reason this is called our prime.
That's the trouble with viewing life as a one-way linear progression
By many standards, I had a lot to show and tell about in my 30's: wife, kids, house, cars, education, career, money, etc.
Now, all that is gone...
but in many ways, I now have so much more
it all depends on your definition of "success"
besides, I figure I have another 40 or 50 years ahead of me if I take care of myself
I could have all that stuff again
or I could have even less
I'm not sure which is better
no telling what changes will come without seeing it through to the end
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
LOL. There is a staggering amount of wisdom in this small post. I couldn't agree more. Sorry to hear about your wife and kids being gone by the way. I don't know which is better either. Some times it feel like there was more pleasure in life when I was wandering and things weren't so clear and defined. As for the definition of success I think that most peoples definition is bull****, for me it's just whether or not you are laughing. I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people but that's is how I feel. If you are laughing your way through life than you are successful. By my own terms I am not very successful, but I am working on it. Maybe I will have it in my 40's. What do you think Coyote? Can it be done?
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
This is great. Thanks for sharing and congrats you sound very happy.
coyote
Well-known member
Maybe I will have it in my 40's. What do you think Coyote? Can it be done?
yes - it can be done
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
YouTube - Life Call Commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
hehe i was looking for the SNL spoof on this one but oh well....
hehe
i was looking for the SNL spoof on this one but oh well....
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
YouTube - Life Call Commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
hehe
We need something like that for anxiety sufferers.
Anxiety Call! Awkward social situation? Feeling uncomfortable because you don't know anyone there, and need a way to get out? Press this discrete little button, and one of our operatives will call you on your cellphone with a fake emergency that you absolutely must attend to right away, giving you a plausible reason to leave the social event without looking lame. Anxiety Call! It's a life saver!