I think it makes sense for the woman to keep her last name in her profession, and I see this a lot with my younger female professors.
I know of a few married couples who decided to hyphenate their two last names, which I would be fine with myself (I'm a guy, by the way), but it begs the question, what last name do the kids take when they decide to get married? Have three or four last names? And their kids? Seven last names? And their kids???
Well, I think it's a personal matter of both in a couple, needs to be discussed and wishes need to be respected...
Personally I kinda have an allergy to jewelry and if I ever do get married, I probably won't be wearing much of it (it's traditional to get the ring, my parents usually don't wear them, especially when working outside etc. So the rings are mostly on the shelf/in a box...)
I wouldn't change my wishes based on anyone's allergy to anything either... (If he really does have an allergy to jewelry, please don't make him wear anything that might make it worse!! Though maybe some metals could be okay, he/you guys could experiment.. or he could maybe wear a ring around the neck like on a necklace/string, above the clothes/vest maybe..)
I understand people with any choices, personally it would depend on the guy's surname lol, if I liked it better than mine (and if it would be numerologically 'happier'? :😛: )
Our family surname also 'goes down' with sis and me (from our branch), so I might consider keeping it in some way, hyphenated or for professional reasons or whatever (except if I'd REALLY like his surname, hehe!!)
You can always use pen names if you write any novels, or as nicknames online... 🙂
Changing all the documents can be a bit costly and inconvenient too, and what if there's a divorce later on etc? (Change again or keep it? People do this in different ways too...) Some things to consider...
i think you seem conflicted about this issue, that's why you're posting here--to see what other people think.
Well I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. He can't force you to do something. If you feel happy with how your relationship is set up, then that's great. But if not, you're allowed to say so. It's all about personal choice.
Yes, I am conflicted, and I am interested in knowing how others feel about it---but I'm certainly not going to base my decision off it! I completely agree that it's about personal choice, which is why I'm having such a hard time deciding. :😛: And for what it's worth, I have one of the most boring surnames in the world. I usually even go by my nickname as my surname, except in legal matters of course. I'm even considering legally changing my name to my nickname, which would be way untraditional! But fun. 🙂
Another consideration is, the name may not be so important to me, but my family is very important to me. And, as I have posted about before, I feel like an outsider in his family, and I certainly don't get the feeling that I will be becoming part of their family and whatnot. So that makes me not want to take their name.
Meh, we'll see...
It's so interesting to see everyone's responses, thanks you guys!
From what I've read, children's names are derived from the father's first name with the suffix 'sson' for a boy and 'dottir' for a girl. I suppose a single woman would use her first name instead when naming her children.
i think that you should do it if you like it , do it the way you like it , i personally wouldn't do it as it doesn't mean anything to me , but i'm not very traditional , i don't understand most of the things people do , but that's how i feel , you shouldn't change depending on other's opinion , make it fun for you
Another consideration is, the name may not be so important to me, but my family is very important to me. And, as I have posted about before, I feel like an outsider in his family, and I certainly don't get the feeling that I will be becoming part of their family and whatnot. So that makes me not want to take their name.
Ah, yes, I forgot about this. Ditching your surname will not make you happy, so there's no reason to do that, even if it is boring. 😉
At the end of the day it's all down to personal choice. Doing whatever makes you happiest is acceptable in this day and age really. What makes you happiest is what you should do. 🙂
When or if I get married I'm going to take my husband's name though. It depends how you look at it really. On the one hand you are giving up your maiden name but you're also gaining a new name. I personally think it's lovely to have the same surname. It's kind of like a gift. I prefer my name to my boyfriend's (don't know if we'll get married yet but it's a possibility) but I'd still like to have it one day because it's his, you know? :😛:
I prefer my name to my boyfriend's (don't know if we'll get married yet but it's a possibility) but I'd still like to have it one day because it's his, you know? :😛:
But...what about what you want? You mentioned you like your name more than his, but you're willing to change to his surname even though you like yours more. That's very noble of you. 🙂
I definitely think it's cute for a couple to have the same last name. It's like, instead of being Salt Shaker and Pepper Grinder, you are now just (Mr. and Mrs.) Salt and Pepper Shaker.
Haha.
I definitely think it's cute for a couple to have the same last name. It's like, instead of being Salt Shaker and Pepper Grinder, you are now just (Mr. and Mrs.) Salt and Pepper Shaker.
Haha.
I definitely think it's cute for a couple to have the same last name. It's like, instead of being Salt Shaker and Pepper Grinder, you are now just (Mr. and Mrs.) Salt and Pepper Shaker.
Haha.
Damn, I was gonna say "That's what hyphens are for" to the orig. question, but I like this answer.
Whoever's got the coolest last name should win! If my real name was Dudley Butterworth (I swear it isn't) and I married Fiona Shrapnel (real last name, I've seen it), I'd say "Shrapnel!"
Hyphenated names can be a lot of fun if they match up in strange ways:
Or rehash key components from each last name to come to the coolest last name possible, like Dalebertronmegacum. Marie Dalebertronmegacum has a nice ring to it.
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