Suicide. Death. You.
- Thread starter illuminationSP
- Start date
unleashed
Well-known member
its kind of reassuring or comforting in a way to know that others think about it as often and in as much detail as i do. my thinking at the moment is that i cant do it (yet) because my parents are both over 70 and my dad's gf has already lost her husband, son and daughter and i cant inflict pain on the old people who are probably suffering more than i am.
i had a failed attempt last year and surviving it wasnt very nice..the hospital staff didnt have much time or patience (no pun intended) for someone ''like me'', i'd always harboured a secret fantasy of hospital as being a caring place where i would finally be looked after and recognised as being ill but that wasnt my reality even though i had paid my health insurance and wasn't leeching anything from ''genuinely sick people''. the stigma also really sucked as my now ex partner told preeeety much everybody and i noticed that people gave me a wide berth after that, which actually is okay lol (**** you i didnt like you anyway!) the worst thing was when someone told my mum, that was harsh she is too old to be worrying about my shiz. oh and telling my son, he doesnt seem so keen to spend time with me since that incident either. sigh. the problem is that people dont recognise depression and social phobia as an illness. here in holland if i had cancer i could choose my die date, arrange my funeral and book in to the clinic but do people think euthenasia for depression is acceptable? i know my parents wouldn't. someone once said ''suicide doesnt end the pain it just passes it on'' and yes the guilt there compounds the depression but still i guess i will just hang on in and wait and see what happens.
i had a failed attempt last year and surviving it wasnt very nice..the hospital staff didnt have much time or patience (no pun intended) for someone ''like me'', i'd always harboured a secret fantasy of hospital as being a caring place where i would finally be looked after and recognised as being ill but that wasnt my reality even though i had paid my health insurance and wasn't leeching anything from ''genuinely sick people''. the stigma also really sucked as my now ex partner told preeeety much everybody and i noticed that people gave me a wide berth after that, which actually is okay lol (**** you i didnt like you anyway!) the worst thing was when someone told my mum, that was harsh she is too old to be worrying about my shiz. oh and telling my son, he doesnt seem so keen to spend time with me since that incident either. sigh. the problem is that people dont recognise depression and social phobia as an illness. here in holland if i had cancer i could choose my die date, arrange my funeral and book in to the clinic but do people think euthenasia for depression is acceptable? i know my parents wouldn't. someone once said ''suicide doesnt end the pain it just passes it on'' and yes the guilt there compounds the depression but still i guess i will just hang on in and wait and see what happens.
SplosionDude
Active member
Quite a bit, but i think i'm too chicken to ever actually go through with it. The thought of the consequences of surviving always put me off. If was to survive, i'd have to deal with all the grief from family, doctors, etc. As well as this, the physical consequences of failed attempts are pretty terrible. OD and you could really damage your organs, etc. Slit your wrists and you could lose motor function. All this would make a sucky life even suckier. I think if i had a gun, though, i'd have done it by now. It woud be so quick and guaranteed.
morphine4mysoul
Member
Suicidal idealization are more common than I used to believe. I think about it from time to time but I could never do that to the people who love me that would be selfish.
This is the same situation I'm in, except with my father. He abused me as a child but now that I'm older he's been the only one in my family to understand my problems with SA, depression and evrything else..he supports me financially so I can focus on uni but last week his pacemaker malfunctioned which sent him near death many times in only a few days..I know he doesn't have very long. Without him I can't survive on my own. And the fact that I want him around just so I could be without money worries (and not that I'll be without a father) is even more awful than my untimely demise.
I know what you mean. What else is there then?
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I think that's one of the big reasons I never drink. It's also why I'll never own a firearm.
It sounds grim, but it's true.
They say people who own guns are more likely to kill themselves.
I know how low I can get sometimes, not drinking and not having a gun is a safeguard against doing something rash when I'm vulnerable or not thinking clearly.
davidburke
Well-known member
i agree with you on that
recluse
Well-known member
I think about it every day because living with anxiety, depression, low self esteem is pure agony....I can't enjoy life so what's the use? I don't have the guts anyway.
When i applied for my shotgun licence i had to put down on the application form that i was/am recieving treatment for depression etc, and the police check with your dr anyway so you have to be honest. I was interviewed by an officer before i was granted a licence which is standard procedure. Understandable really.
When i applied for my shotgun licence i had to put down on the application form that i was/am recieving treatment for depression etc, and the police check with your dr anyway so you have to be honest. I was interviewed by an officer before i was granted a licence which is standard procedure. Understandable really.
mrb
Well-known member
yes if your a bit low drink can make you ten times worse , the other night i started out ok happy enough having a few beers , the the more i drank the more deppresed i became , in the end upstairs meaning my pea like brain
i just lost it .. im normaly a happy enough person but hmmm , this has happend to me a few times , so once again im trying to give it up , find other things to do to beat being board .....
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I've never had a problem with boredom, I have a whacked-out imagination so I can keep myself entertained like a champ.
But I can see how alcohol helps with that if you have that kind of struggle. Christopher Hitchens said that he drinks to make people more interesting, so lots of people in all walks of life are with you.
But I can see how alcohol helps with that if you have that kind of struggle. Christopher Hitchens said that he drinks to make people more interesting, so lots of people in all walks of life are with you.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i think about it everyday too. when im closest to it, i get myself worked up into a panic. when you feel so bad, you'd do anything to make it stop. a lot of the time, i feel like the single fluke in the universe, like no one could possibly feel as bad as i do, even though i know thats not true, alot of you probably feel the same. its fine and good to say no dont do that, but what other way out is there?
mari_13
Member
I think about it everyday too, but is more when I feel obligated to interact in society. I love being alone. I feel frustrated that I have to interact with other humans. I feel sociaty is corrupted and mean and evil, why would Iwant to belong to something like that. I think that if I could live alone in a house in the country far away from society, suicide would not cross my mind.
