Suicide. Death. You.

[goldenholds]

I figure that I'm not smart enough to decide something as important an event as my death. I will gladly relinquish that task to someone or something else. Plus I might miss something, so I plan on sticking around as long as possible. If I have to wait as long as when I'm in an old age home to lose my virginity, then by God I'll wait and I'll be the happiest old fart alive. My wish is to go the way Noah and Alley went in "The Notebook". That would be alright with me. So, my love, you had better take care of yourself and make it till then.

To the rest of you out there, happiness may be just around the corner. It may not feel like it, but don't always trust your feelings, they are not always right. The world owes you some happiness likely, so it would be best to stick around to make up for the crap you've endured so far. If you go now, you'll have endured the crap but missed out on the good parts. If you've done something wrong, then make amends, endure your punishment, give yourself a second chance and then go accept your happiness again. Whatever your troubles, hang in there, we're all in this together.

 

[goldenholds]

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[Pink_Paula]

Here is a cold hard fact from someone who knows.
If you died it would effect the rest of your mums life, she loves you of corse your her daughter and she wants you around, I'm guessing she would never get over it ever.
Although you feel down Paula there is always a reason to live, no matter how bad things get, you know maybe your life will start getting better soon, give it a try and try not to give up hope

The thing is my mum has been given less than 5 years to live, the hospital tokd her that the other day so even if i have to hang on for her i know it won't have to be for to long!

 

[Brokenx]

The thing is my mum has been given less than 5 years to live, the hospital tokd her that the other day so even if i have to hang on for her i know it won't have to be for to long!

Oh! I'm really sorry to hear that Paula that's really very sad, i hope your mum is coping ok with that news.
But Paula have a little hope first, i always think 'Things cannot get any worse, so they have to get better at some point', maybe soon something good will happen for us.. Try not to lose hope.

 

[Pink_Paula]

Oh! I'm really sorry to hear that Paula that's really very sad, i hope your mum is coping ok with that news.
But Paula have a little hope first, i always think 'Things cannot get any worse, so they have to get better at some point', maybe soon something good will happen for us.. Try not to lose hope.

Thanks hun, i think she is in denial right now, she's gone into give an eff mode and i'm just letting her get on with it, she knows i'm here for when she wants to talk.

 

[Hellhound]

That's something anyone who does consider suicide has to accept - family left behind will be absolutely devastated, make no mistake. They would never recover from it.
It's a harsh truth but there's no point in anyone (including myself) trying to delude themselves that it's not so.

I have no family to leave behind because they don't give a damn, and that's a fact. I wonder about my friends though... what they would do if i weren't here. I also wonder what would happen to my pets... I don't think my "family" would take care of them.

 

[Brokenx]

Thanks hun, i think she is in denial right now, she's gone into give an eff mode and i'm just letting her get on with it, she knows i'm here for when she wants to talk.

To be honest i cannot even imagine what she is going through, i have thought about how i would react if a doctor told me i only had a few years to live and i just dont think i could deal with it.
Your mum must be a very brave woman, i wish her all the best

 

[FOR REAL]

I also wonder what would happen to my pets...

thats what i was thinking aswell, lots of folks love there pets on here, i know you do hellhound

@paula and dan, im sure between the 2 of you, theres half a zoo to take care of::

 

[Pink_Paula]

To be honest i cannot even imagine what she is going through, i have thought about how i would react if a doctor told me i only had a few years to live and i just dont think i could deal with it.
Your mum must be a very brave woman, i wish her all the best

Thank Hun, i'll pass on your wishes to her! knowing that she doesn't have long to live has made me step up a bit i realise i need to be strong for her now, she's been there for me no matter what so it's my turn to look after her. She is an amazing woman and i'd be lost without her.

 

[Hellhound]

thats what i was thinking aswell, lots of folks love there pets on here, i know you do hellhound

Yes...very much

 

[Brokenx]

Thank Hun, i'll pass on your wishes to her! knowing that she doesn't have long to live has made me step up a bit i realise i need to be strong for her now, she's been there for me no matter what so it's my turn to look after her. She is an amazing woman and i'd be lost without her.

Yeah hun you try be strong for her.
Its really great you have such a good mum, who helps you through the hard times.

 

[Noca]

How often do you actually "want to die" or actually consider suicide?

Multiple times a week to multiple times a day. Never really gone a month without thinking about it in the past 5 years.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

Some people might think this is kind of harsh,but its just my own personal opinion.I think it's kind of selfish sometimes.My Mum had a breakdown and became severley ill when I was about 17,she was hearing and seeing things and wasnt herself at all.She threatend to slit her throat infront of me once,another time she managed to run away from hospital after she had been sectioned,and she took an overdose.She only survived because my Dad happend to have to nip home to do some washing for me.

i've dealt with the same kind of thing... growing up with my mom as an addict taught me a lot of lessons the hard way. she struggled so much with her own addiction and her own problems, that she would try to commit suicide while she was drunk out of her head.. i've had to wrestle pills and knives out of my own mom's hands; and when i would stop and think about it, it just made me angry that she was just thinking about ending her own "problems" rather than what her addiction/depression was doing to me.. i lived with her that way from the time i was 11-18 and even though she did all that to me, she was always and still is my very best friend. she has sobered up for the most part, and i don't live with her anymore, but i just think if i ever did anything like that, she'd blame herself and really try to harm herself if it wasn't for my niece (her grandbaby)..

 

[agoraphobickatie]

To the rest of you out there, happiness may be just around the corner. It may not feel like it, but don't always trust your feelings, they are not always right. The world owes you some happiness likely, so it would be best to stick around to make up for the crap you've endured so far. If you go now, you'll have endured the crap but missed out on the good parts. If you've done something wrong, then make amends, endure your punishment, give yourself a second chance and then go accept your happiness again. Whatever your troubles, hang in there, we're all in this together.

i love this.. very well said and very inspirational

 

[DanFC]

Well, for the above: from a psychologist's standpoint, the two biggest reasons to kill yourself (specifically death inducers, not any of the other three categories of people that may end up dead by their own hands such as death darers) are 1) you feel the world is better off without you and 2) escape (what is usually seen as selfish). I'm not presuming to know the above posters' situations with their relatives, but it is possible that the relative's reason was in fact number 1) set off by something (could be depression, schizophrenia, a number of personality disorders, etc) that may be co-morbid with some sort of abnormality that would not allow the person to understand the damage he or she would be doing to others in an act of suicide. It happens.

Anyways, I've thought about suicide sometimes just as an experience, but never real seriously. My number one reason is that it would simply ruin the few people that are close to me. Also, I do enjoy some of life even in my depressive lows, and I know I'll do good for the world someday with my future profession.

 

[illuminationSP]

but don't always trust your feelings, they are not always right.

Very true, in my opinion.

 

[Danfalc]

but it is possible that the relative's reason was in fact number 1) set off by something (could be depression, schizophrenia, a number of personality disorders, etc) that may be co-morbid with some sort of abnormality that would not allow the person to understand the damage he or she would be doing to others in an act of suicide. It happens.

Yeah,you hit the nail on the head.My Mum wasnt my Mum..she had lost touch with reality and I dont think she understood the effect it had on those around her.I dont think she was selfish at all and thankfully once she got better she couldnt remember what she had done.

I just ment going through that made me realise the pain it might cause other people if they had to worry about me harming myself.

@Katie,normaly its nice to be able to relate to other people on stuff,But I can honestly say this is one thing I wish neither of us had to go through.It's so hard when it's like role reversal..and you have to look after your parents.For what its worth though I think it only made you the kick ass person you are today.And I'm glad you guys get on these days.

 

[Hellhound]

I'm not presuming to know the above posters' situations with their relatives, but it is possible that the relative's reason was in fact number 1) set off by something (could be depression, schizophrenia, a number of personality disorders, etc) that may be co-morbid with some sort of abnormality that would not allow the person to understand the damage he or she would be doing to others in an act of suicide. It happens.

My "family" already told me to kill myself many times and they showed countless times that they don't care. My father even gave me a knife once and said "Go ahead, kill yourself" :/ I am pretty sure they would definitely NOT be damaged at all. This time is not my depression speaking. I know for a fact that they wouldn't.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

My "family" already told me to kill myself many times and they showed countless times that they don't care. My father even gave me a knife once and said "Go ahead, kill yourself" :/ I am pretty sure they would definitely NOT be damaged at all. This time is not my depression speaking. I know for a fact that they wouldn't.

hellhound that is absolutely horrifying.. it really shows me how incredibly strong you are though, because you HAVE found things that you choose to live for. i hope you know that you are way better than them for having been so courageous...

 

[Mikefly]

Nah not really ....