Suicide. Death. You.
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evil feline space cadet
Banned
Everytime someone see's me eating, criticisis me to the point i feel like dirt, or insults my appearance - I say to myself "I want to die". I only mean it when its to do with my weight.
I've never really self-harmed, just used to tear my hair out, punch walls and bite down on my hand to avoid screaming when angry (cos thats very embarrassing...)
I've thought of suicide loads but never considered it until recently.(though i've walked in front of cars without caring). I think i remember saying here about how guys randomly insult me on the street - two guys did it while i was crossing a bridge and i was 99% sure i wanted to jump off into the river. But that 1% stopped me!
I dont wanna die - i dont want my ****ty life to cause my loved ones upset also - that wouldnt be fair. Plus i dont want to die without proving myself - that im not a complete waste of space!!
I've never really self-harmed, just used to tear my hair out, punch walls and bite down on my hand to avoid screaming when angry (cos thats very embarrassing...)
I've thought of suicide loads but never considered it until recently.(though i've walked in front of cars without caring). I think i remember saying here about how guys randomly insult me on the street - two guys did it while i was crossing a bridge and i was 99% sure i wanted to jump off into the river. But that 1% stopped me!
I dont wanna die - i dont want my ****ty life to cause my loved ones upset also - that wouldnt be fair. Plus i dont want to die without proving myself - that im not a complete waste of space!!
A very interesting read: Suicide Facts, A Brief Overview Of Suicide (page 1)
Never. Even when I was at my most depressed, I felt like I just didn't know how to live- I never even considered dying, and certainly not by my own hand. My mind refuses to even entertain the thought.
evil feline space cadet
Banned
You will not commit suicide! I shall not allow it - unless of course I'm dead first, which according to everyone will be in at least 60 years time... so tough!!
Pink_Paula
Well-known member
You will not commit suicide! I shall not allow it - unless of course I'm dead first, which according to everyone will be in at least 60 years time... so tough!!
I'm glad to hear that you'll still be here in 60 years missy! you're waaaaaaaaay to nice to go any sooner
Brokenx
1
I do sometimes think i'd like to die Of corse i do.
I did once try to kill myself, I was about 18 years old i had a massive argument with my boyfriend at the time, so i took loads of anti-depresants and layed down, but my mum came in the room and found me and took me to hospital.
The next day i felt such a prat and felt so unwell, my mate had to stay with me for like 2 days because i couldn't get out of bed because my heart was racing so hard..
I have very mixed views on suicide to be honest,
My dad killed himself and it hurt so many people including me, i know how much pain someone close to you killing themselfs can cause, 10 years after his death i still do not understand why he did it, everyone said he wasn't depressed.. He was a very good love-life soul, so i don't no why he does it.
Also my 8 year old brother died of cancer, for 2 years i watched him daily fight for his life, so i look at it like, there is people fighting daily to keep there life and there is other people just ending theirs..
I know how hard it is to enjoy life when your so depressed, but we just have to keep going i guess.
I don't no where i stand on suicide.. because sometimes i do feel suicidle.
But i haven't acted on it sinse i was 18, and after that experience i don't think I'll do it again.
I did once try to kill myself, I was about 18 years old i had a massive argument with my boyfriend at the time, so i took loads of anti-depresants and layed down, but my mum came in the room and found me and took me to hospital.
The next day i felt such a prat and felt so unwell, my mate had to stay with me for like 2 days because i couldn't get out of bed because my heart was racing so hard..
I have very mixed views on suicide to be honest,
My dad killed himself and it hurt so many people including me, i know how much pain someone close to you killing themselfs can cause, 10 years after his death i still do not understand why he did it, everyone said he wasn't depressed.. He was a very good love-life soul, so i don't no why he does it.
Also my 8 year old brother died of cancer, for 2 years i watched him daily fight for his life, so i look at it like, there is people fighting daily to keep there life and there is other people just ending theirs..
I know how hard it is to enjoy life when your so depressed, but we just have to keep going i guess.
I don't no where i stand on suicide.. because sometimes i do feel suicidle.
But i haven't acted on it sinse i was 18, and after that experience i don't think I'll do it again.
Literally all of the time.
Yes, but that's not why I want to do it. I just like that it ends all of the bull****.
evil feline space cadet
Banned
Now that's something to think about!
I never thought of it that way.
And Paula, that means you can't die either okay?!
Same goes to the rest of ye - i miss people too easily..
evil feline space cadet
Banned
Yeh, but you're FOR REAL!
You managed to send me a picture of where my house is without even being told where it is!
Silvox Black
Well-known member
I always consider it quite often. Anything from toying with the idea to planning out a death. To be honest, I do not know if I wish to die or not. On one hand, death would be such a mercy to me whether it be now or in the future, yet on the other hand there is a devotion I have to a certain creed.
I think about it, on and off, most days. But, as a previous poster mentioned, there's a big difference between thinking about it and being on the cusp of actually doing it - which I have been once or twice. I found it a traumatic, shocking experience.
It's the thought of how much it would hurt my family, especially my parents, that mainly keeps me from it but I can't help feeling that it's how my life will most probably turn out.
It's the thought of how much it would hurt my family, especially my parents, that mainly keeps me from it but I can't help feeling that it's how my life will most probably turn out.
Pink_Paula
Well-known member
I've been thinking recently that if my mum loved me she'd realise that by me ending it then that would be the end of my pain and suffering. She's the only person that keeps me here, i have no one else that i care about or that would care if i was gone. I think if i left she would understand.
Flowers-Of-Bloom
Well-known member
At one stage I seriously considered it. But because of my "religious" views, I will never consider it like I once did. Suicide is murder. Murder is sin. Sin is (spiritual) death. Honestly, in killing yourself you're only going to suffer more. So the idea of actually doing it is stupid to me.
However, I have intrusive thoughts. My mind produces violent and suicidal imagery and ideas no matter how I feel. When I'm stressed, depressed or anxious, my mind will urge me to kill myself and the imagery will become more frequent and vivid.
However, I have intrusive thoughts. My mind produces violent and suicidal imagery and ideas no matter how I feel. When I'm stressed, depressed or anxious, my mind will urge me to kill myself and the imagery will become more frequent and vivid.
Brokenx
1
Here is a cold hard fact from someone who knows.
If you died it would effect the rest of your mums life, she loves you of corse your her daughter and she wants you around, I'm guessing she would never get over it ever.
Although you feel down Paula there is always a reason to live, no matter how bad things get, you know maybe your life will start getting better soon, give it a try and try not to give up hope
Danfalc
Banned
I'm so down alot of the time,I do honestly think it would just be easier and alot less pain if I wasnt here anymore.But at the same time I know I might not always feel like this,so its worth struggling on.Besides Im a stubborn git and I havnt let life beat me yet and I'm going to keep fighting.
Some people might think this is kind of harsh,but its just my own personal opinion.I think it's kind of selfish sometimes.My Mum had a breakdown and became severley ill when I was about 17,she was hearing and seeing things and wasnt herself at all.She threatend to slit her throat infront of me once,another time she managed to run away from hospital after she had been sectioned,and she took an overdose.She only survived because my Dad happend to have to nip home to do some washing for me.
I know people have different levels of how much pain and hurt they can take,but nearly loosing my Mum makes me realize how selfish it would be for me to to ever do somthing like that,as I know it would devastate her.It would end my pain but it would probaly drive my Mum iver the edge as she would probaly blame herself.
Some people might think this is kind of harsh,but its just my own personal opinion.I think it's kind of selfish sometimes.My Mum had a breakdown and became severley ill when I was about 17,she was hearing and seeing things and wasnt herself at all.She threatend to slit her throat infront of me once,another time she managed to run away from hospital after she had been sectioned,and she took an overdose.She only survived because my Dad happend to have to nip home to do some washing for me.
I know people have different levels of how much pain and hurt they can take,but nearly loosing my Mum makes me realize how selfish it would be for me to to ever do somthing like that,as I know it would devastate her.It would end my pain but it would probaly drive my Mum iver the edge as she would probaly blame herself.
That's something anyone who does consider suicide has to accept - family left behind will be absolutely devastated, make no mistake. They would never recover from it.
It's a harsh truth but there's no point in anyone (including myself) trying to delude themselves that it's not so.
From my experience of this forum it seems to me there's a lot of people here who'd care.